Honest motherhood

I'm feeling a little discouraged about motherhood these days.  Our transition to two kids has gone better than I thought overall, but I feel like there was this honeymoon stage.  Isaac slept during the day and didn't need any kind of schedule.  He was content, happy, and I was able to focus on Addi a lot still.  My expectations for sleep were low and I didn't stress out about what I should or shouldn't be doing.  But I feel like as the months set in, these things should be lessened and I should have a better routine, more sleep and getting more things done.  Which is the opposite that is happening!
The last two weeks have been rough.  Isaac is not a good sleeper, naps or night.  Foolishly I thought that we were bound to get a better sleeper than Addilyn was and sadly he is just as bad, maybe even worse?  I spent way too much time when Addi was a baby stressing over her schedule, trying different things and reading so much about sleep.  I promised I wouldn't do that this time around and then I found myself reading sleep boards, articles, searching who knows what last night.  Comparing how your baby sleeps to others is an awful thing and a complete waste of time.  And where are the people that have sleepless babes, because can they start posting about that too?  Sometimes I struggle feeling like I'm failing because he has no idea how to go to sleep or stay asleep.  
The last two days Addi has thrown some pretty epic fits.  More intense than any she's done before and I keep thinking is this three? What if we're in this stage and how do I handle it?  
It's felt really hard to do things this summer.  I obviously wouldn't change it for anything but I find myself thinking how easy it would be to do things if it were just Addi.  
I can't figure out how to best use my free time since there still isn't much.  Addi takes great naps and if I hold Isaac he'll sleep long too, so I usually end up doing that during her nap.  Sometimes I can get a workout in when both are up but it's hard and doesn't happen easily.  Bedtime is tricky because Isaac won't stay down and by the time they're both asleep for real my energy is so not towards working out.  And then there's blogging, or a craft I'd like to do too.  I'm struggling with what to prioritize and how best to feel like I'm taking care of me during the small chunks of time I have. 
I find myself longing for future days when we can do things easily, like all go swimming or not plan around nursing or naps.  To go to a water park or a beach for a whole day.  To have movie nights on the couch and to leave the kids with grandparents for the weekend.  But then I cried the other morning when I found an appointment reminder card for my 40 week check up, thinking how sad I am that the excitement of Isaac's birth and his first weeks are over.  Motherhood emotions are crazy. Sometimes I don't know what to do with them all! 
I'm trying hard to just relax and remind myself that this is a season.  One that I'll never be in again, and that will pass and I'll forget how tired I was (right?) and soon enough this baby stage will be long passed and we'll have different things that make life tricky or tiring.  To try to soak up the good things of this stage, like the excitement of Isaac learning something new or watching Addi make him laugh.
Life is exhausting, but I am reminded how lucky I am often and working to focus on those cute faces each day!  

Birthday Interview

What is your favorite thing to do?   playing with mama
Do you have any nicknames?   Addiyn Jane, some guys call me dinosaur, Addi
What do you want to be when you grow up? fire fighter
What is your favorite thing to do with the family?  playing with Isaac
Who are your best friends?  Lena
What makes you happy?  mama
What do you like to learn about?  dinosaurs
What makes you sad?  When Annie pulls my hair
What do you do really well?  making things
If you had a million dollars what would you buy?  play-doh and a rolling pin
What is your favorite thing to do outside?  play with mama
If you could go anywhere, where would it be?  Yumz
If you could have one wish, what would it be? a toy Addi
What is your favorite birthday present?  play-doh
Favorite things: food: mozzarella holiday: 4th of July book: nursery rhyme book toy: doggie treat: granola bars.  and sweets. song: lullaby and goodnight animal: giraffe and kangaroo movie: monsters inc.  color: blue
Now I'm pretty sure if I would've asked her the next day her answers would be different.  But it took a whole lot of work (and some M&M's) to get these answers so we're stickin with them!
(birthday Interview found here)

No plans

top: c/o  shein   jeans: target   shoes: dsw

The last few weekends and weeks have felt pretty busy, but this weekend we've been home quite a bit and it's been nice.  It's funny because pre Isaac I had a hard time when we had little plans.  Maybe it's because he cries in the car or with it being so hot it's hard to have him outside, but I've been happier staying home these days.  

I asked Addilyn what she wanted to do this week and told her we didn't have any plans and she said "We can just buy some more from the store.  More plans."  

Side note:  This top.  My first off the shoulder top.  I love it.  Now I just need a reason to wear it. A trip to the library or a friends' for a play date doesn't really fit. :)  

FOUR

top: c/o shein   shorts & sandals: old navy
ONE.  I just got this shirt and love it.  I think it'll be so cute with jeans and flats in the fall too!
TWO.  We haven't been actively looking for a house, although Chris often does as we've talked about moving sometime in the next few years.  Not far but to a house with more living space and in a better location.  Well this gorgeous house is for sale down the road and we've looked twice and it's becoming a possibility.  I have all kinds of emotions from super excited to overwhelmed.  Of course I got ahead of myself and have already spent hours looking on pinterest for new house ideas.  

THREE.  Addi and I made these Banana Chocolate Chip muffins this week.  Except used peanut butter chocolate chips because we didn't have any regular ones.  They were delicious! 

FOUR.  20 weeks of Isaac in my belly and 20 weeks of him here.  He doesn't look thrilled.  Perhaps he liked my belly better! 
Hope you have a great rest of your week!

Addilyn's birthday

We had such a great time celebrating Addilyn last week!  Birthdays sure seem more fun the older she gets and the more excited she is.  When we'd ask her what she'd want for her birthday she kept saying "a fake hotdog."  Not sure why she said it the first time, but after our reaction she said it over and over.  She didn't get her fake hot dog, but lots of fun things! 

waiting for her friends

This year and last year on her actual birthday we invited her friends to a park and I brought lots of donuts and the kids sang and then just played.  It's been such a simple and easy way to celebrate. I wish I could have gotten a picture of all her friends, but it was probably for the better that we didn't even attempt it! 

For Addilyn's first birthday we threw a big party.  Dinner, cupcakes, presents, lots of family and friends.  It was a big deal.  And I loved planning for it, but it was exhausting and took a lot of time. And really more for Chris and I than her at that point!  Her second birthday and this one we have just done dessert and presents with our families and it has been perfect.  Low key, simple and still lots of celebrating our sweet girl!  

Saturday our family came over for cupcakes and ice cream and presents.  It was perfect!  Addilyn better love polka dots because I've used the same decorations, minus a few things, for her parties each year.  (I better choose wisely for Isaac's first birthday, right?)  Happy birthday singing here!

I had made this wreath for her first birthday and now it's a tradition to hang in the first of July each year to celebrate her birthday month.  So fun to get a picture of her by it each year.  

Ending the night with birthday girl kisses!
And two more comparison pictures . . . . 

Time goes by so quickly! So thankful for a great birthday for our Addi girl!

Numbers

top: c/o make me chic   shoes: dsw

TEN  The amount of money these shoes cost me.  They were on clearance for $20 and I had a $10 coupon.  I love them! 

FOUR  The number of times Isaac was awake last night.  I honestly wouldn't mind nearly as much if he just fell right back to sleep each time.

THREE  The number of fixer upper episodes I watched yesterday.  I love that show!

THIRTY  The number of cupcakes I frosted for Addilyn's birthday.

ZERO The amount of times I did a workout video last week.  Sick babies, birthdays and little sleep and I got over attempting to fit it in.  Let's hope for a more successful week this week!

A LOT  Of white tops that I own, but was so excited when I got this one in the mail.  I love it!

Look who is three!!!

I can't believe you are turning three!! You are sweet, funny, stubborn, independent in ways and needy in other, petite, beautiful, expressive, coordinated, sensitive and we couldn't love you more.  Here are some things I want to remember about you at age three . . . . 
You like to tell me (or whoever is playing with you) exactly what to say to you.  "Now say, What kind of show is this?" or "Where is Addi?" or "Just call me super Addi."  
You love narrating thing.  I might be able to thank you tube for that, so at least there is one good thing from that.  It's pretty cute.  Your play dough playing, food, anything.  You'll narrate what you are doing or what is happening.  
You have such a great vocabulary.  You love using words like literally, definitely, and though. Thrown in lots of sentences.  You say the funniest things.  You are so so smart and have the best memory. You know at least seven Bible verse and if I say the first two words, you'll finish the rest.  You've known your colors forever, can recognize many letters and can tell anyone what street you, both Grandmas and your cousins live on.  You rarely forget anything, which is good but also doesn't work to my advantage sometimes! 
You've gotten so much better at letting others help you and spending time with them and not just your mama!  I think Isaac has a lot to thank for that, but probably just getting older too.  You still have rough weeks with Sunday school but have gotten a lot better.  You love playing with Peter, Ella and Ellie and it helps we see them during the week and I love that you have good friends at church! I feel a little nervous for preschool next year as it will be a big step for us both, but know it will be so good for you.  
You may be the most expressive toddler there was.  You don't say mean things with words, but your face sure says a lot!  You make the funniest faces, the judgiest faces and the sweetest ones too.  Your expressions are the best.  
You've gotten a little tougher, but you are still kind of a baby when it comes to getting hurt. Hopefully you'll keep toughening up! 
You love water and are the best little swimmer.  You had a blast on our vacation and never wanted to leave the pool!   You have a major sweet tooth and would eat candy all day long if you could.  You also love fruit, cheese and yogurt.  You'll try just about any food, but never eat a lot of anything at a time.  Except candy.  I'm not sure you'd never stop eating that.  
When we're in a new place or even a familiar one with lots of people you almost always grab my leg and say "I love you mama."  That is how I know you are a little nervous.  One of the many ways you are like me.  You get a little overwhelmed with bigger crowds, but you have done so much better the last many months.  You used to ask to leave parties or groups of people to go home after an hour.  Many times now you are very unhappy when it's time to go home.  
You have such a great imagination.  You love playing with my little ponies, play-dough, your water table, legos, your kitchen and your tea set.  You are usually happy outside and love playing on our play set, collecting rocks, and running around.  
You can get pretty emotional and whiny and we certainly have our rougher days, but you really are normally happy and well behaved.  Let's hope it stays that way for year three!? 
You've been potty trained for almost two months.  You've been ready for a long time, but when I was pregnant and sick I just didn't have it in me!  I also wanted to wait until after Isaac was here.  You did awesome at the beginning, then had a rough week or so and were back to doing great.  I love not having to change your diaper!  Now if we only could get rid of that pacifier! 
You'd probably say your favorite two friends are Lena and Aaliyah.  You LOVE playing with both of them and think they are just the best thing ever.  You talk to other people about them, run up and hug them whenever you see them and ask me all the time when you will play with them next.  You love all your cousins and we are so lucky to live by them and see them all often.  
You are such a great big sister.  I was worried about how you'd handle adding Isaac to our family and you have done great.  You kiss him, hug him and tell him you love him all the time.  When you've been sick or just cranky it's been hard for us both that I can't hold you or sit on the couch with you. I miss those days!  I'm excited for when he can start playing with you, and can't wait to watch you both grow up together.  
For not being a good sleeper as a baby you have made up for it.  Minus some rough bedtimes here and there (with a million stalling questions and requests) you go to bed pretty easily, usually around 7:45/8:00.  You go through phases of when you wake up but it's usually between 6 and 7.  And you take awesome naps!  You often sleep over two hours and many days I wake up you so bedtime isn't late or hard. You are still in your crib and I don't ever want you out!  Thank you for being such a great sleeper now!
Three years ago you made me a mother and I can't imagine a better job.  I will forever look at you and be reminded of what an answer to prayer you were and are.  You are a reminder to me of God's faithfulness and that struggles and trials can end with the greatest blessings.  You are the best thing in the world Addilyn Jane and I couldn't love you more!  

Happy birthday sweet girl!
And I'm sure I'll watch this every year on your birthday over and over and can't not cry. We love you so much!

Bear & Button Boutique

 top: c/o Button & Bear Boutique

I am super excited to share with you a new favorite shop!  The owner, Jen and I connected through blogging and instagram a while ago and I love following her sweet family. I was super excited when I heard about her new shop, Button & Bear Boutique, and love all the cute things in it! I was thrilled when she asked if she could send Addi something so I could share with my readers.  I had a hard time picking something out as there are so many cute things!

Isn't her family gorgeous? Jen's shop was started just this last June and is owned by herself and her mom.  Jen has two adorable kids, Charlotte and Jack.  I love that her shop name is their nicknames - Button & Bear.  Her first collection, The Charlotte Collection was inspired by her daughter.  

Here are a few adorable things from her shop:

The Charlotte dress  //  Candy Stripe shorts  //  the Sunday dress

I picked out this tunic and LOVE it.  It is so cute and girly and perfect with leggings now, but know she'll wear it in the Fall and Winter with a sweater.  (For reference she's in a 3T)  You can use the code KATIE10 for 10% off any item in her shop.  Each day this week a different item will be on sale (follow along on instagram so you don't miss it!).  They're making room for their fall collection which will include toddler blanket scarves, wide brimmed hats and herringbone vests.  I'll already starting planning on bribes for Addi to get her to wear accessories longer than one minute! 

 (her new pose  #nailedit) 

Thank you so much for Addilyn's beautiful top Jen!  We wish you so much luck with your new boutique and think you are wonderful! 

the good and the bad

tee and pants: old navy   bracelet: nickel and suede

The bad:
I went to the dentist two weeks ago and if you've read my blog for any length of time you know how much I loathe the dentist.  I have four cavities, one that is a possible root canal.  Sadly I thought I'd need more things done than that, but still dreading my two appointments.  
Speaking of dentists, I'm afraid Addi has a cavity and am dreading taking her.  I need to call but keep not doing it! And am pretty sure I will make Chris take her as I don't want my anxiety to rub off on her.  
Isaac got another bad cold, that Chris and I both just had.  We had recently put him on acid reflux medicine for his constant cough and I was hoping to take him in next week to see if we could try a new kind or dosage because he was still coughing.  Well now he's coughing from this cold so I feel like we can't tell if medicine will work or not.  Makes me discouraged and frustrating and tired . . . because little sleep is happening over here! 

The good:
Addi and I made playdough (recipe here) the other morning.  It was easy and she's still playing with it. I need to find more fun activities for us like that to do at home!  Tell me any good ones you have! 
These pants.  They are soft and stretchy and I love them.  I bought them at the beginning of my pregnancy with Isaac and am excited to be able to wear them again now.  Stretchy pants always win.
I got this leather wrap bracelet last year and I love it.  It was more than I usually spend on accessories, but it one of the few I actually wear these days.  
These summer tops: 

one //  two  //  three  
Love the tassels and I want to try an off the shoulder top but am thinking either where will I wear it too and will one of my kids pull it down? Right??  Any moms of littles wear them often? 
We're getting new carpet tomorrow.  I'm super excited, but right now the current state of our house is nuts as we've been moving everything around for them to come.  Let's hope putting it all back is easy so we can enjoy our new floor! 
Hope you had a great weekend!

Addi says what

Addi barely tripped on my shoe and didn't even fall over on our walk, "That almost ruined my whole life."
I was putting her to bed and she listed off her 84th request and told me she was hungry.  I told her I didn't believe her and she said, "But my belly is saying Feed me! Feed me!"  (Except she says her f's with a p sound, so it is "Peed me! Peed me!" 
In the pool on vacation she was holding onto the railing by my sister and said "This is my new daddy. My real daddy couldn't be here when I wanted him to, so I found my new daddy." Lauren asked her if she missed her real daddy and she said, "No, not really."
Lauren was helping her go the bathroom and she asked Addi if she needed help putting her pants back and she said, "Well typically when I'm home my mom does it, but since she's not here you can."
Addi kept making jokes about poop and Chris told her the verse in the Bible that says, "out of the abundance of the heart the mouth speaks."  She started making up a song saying "get that poop out of your heart.  Get that poop out of your heart right now." 
I came out of Isaac's room after putting him down for a nap and Addi's yogurt was covering her high chair, hands, in her hair and on the couch.  To my wide eyed look, "But it is a good idea mama!"
The other day Addi got a sucker and later that day she asked for another one.  When I told her no she said with her hands on her hips "I literally need another sucker.  Right.  Now." 
"Mama put Isaac back in your belly.  I don't like him anymore."
At the start of fireworks, "Daddy the sky is on fire! Are you crying?" 
I told Addi she was getting so old and asked her what she wanted for her birthday.  "A new Addi. This one is too old."