March 31, 2016
March 29, 2016
Our first holiday as a family of four! Last Easter Addilyn had the stomach flu and her and I stayed home all day and missed out on everything. I was so disappointed, and am so thankful this year we were all healthy and had a great day. We are so lucky that both sides of our families are close, as we have Easter all together. It's so nice to not have to split our time, and Addilyn gets to be with all her cousins. Such a blessing!
Earlier in the week we dyed Easter eggs. I have to admit, even though they were the simplest you could get, I was really proud of myself for doing them. Addilyn was so happy and it really was fun!
And this made the Easter dress all worth it. I think it's my favorite picture of all of them. I am so thankful that Addilyn gets to grow up with her cousins. They love each other so much. Hope you all had a wonderful Easter!
March 28, 2016
March 24, 2016
March 23, 2016
The afternoon after he was born I was holding him and he was making some gagging sounds and I saw white stuff in his mouth like he was trying to spit up. He swallowed it and then seemed fine after. Same thing happened later that night and around three in the morning he started breathing kind of weird, almost like he was congested and couldn't breathe through his nose. When the pediatrician came in the early morning we mentioned it, he sounded fine then and she checked everything and he seemed fine. Ten minutes after she left he was doing it again, making distress sounds breathing and not being able to breathe through his nose. We called the nurse and she agreed it didn't sound right and took him down to the special care nursery. Chris went with and about 15 minutes later the nurse came and asked if I wanted to go down there.
I thought I'd walk in and see Chris holding him and they'd tell me everything was fine, but when I walked in he was hooked up to all these things, including an iv, and his little chest was breathing so heavy. It was so sad and I felt overwhelmed and didn't even hear what the doctor was saying. Combined with it being so hot in there, having not had a ton to eat and walking after not moving at all, I felt like I was going to pass out. They got me a chair and juice and I started crying. The doctor said he oxygen levels were low and they were going to check to make sure his lungs were clear with an x-ray and monitor him for awhile. When they took blood his white blood cell count was high, which can be common in newborns, but they gave him antibiotics just in case.
I felt nervous and so disappointed. I was worried that he was going to get some kind of infection or had something in his lungs. I was so sad people couldn't come visit and that he was stuck in the nicu. Thankfully I could still hold him, but they didn't want me to nurse because they didn't want his body to have to work any extra. By night time he was breathing normal and his levels normal, his lungs came back clear but he still sounded like his nasal passage was blocked and couldn't breathe through it. The next two nights we slept in the hospital room (they were so nice to let us stay an extra night even though I was discharged) and they'd call me when he needed to eat. His nose would seem to clear, but then if he got upset from a diaper change, or from trying to latch, he'd get worked up and start to have trouble breathing again. By Monday night he had been breathing better since the afternoon and while the different doctors had slightly different opinions, they found out his nasal passage was really narrow and he somehow got something in his nasal passage. Either fluid from labor or colostrum from nursing. Every time someone tried to clear it, it was probably just getting more inflamed and irritated. But all his other levels were great and he sounded clear through the night, so they let us leave Tuesday morning.
Looking back, like many things in life, it ended up not being a huge deal. But in the moments it was scary and not what I planned. I am so thankful that we brought home a healthy baby boy and only a day and half later than we had originally planned. I felt sad that we didn't get to have visitors come after the first day just like with Addilyn, but again, such a small thing compared to what so many people have to deal with. I'm so thankful for such great nurses and doctors that are cautious and made sure our sweet boy was healthy before we brought him home!
March 21, 2016
One of the biggest things I was worried about when it came to giving birth was how Addilyn would do and the details of where she'd be and who would watch her, and then how she'd be with bringing her baby brother home. Looking back, as with most things, it was wasted time, as she did so well! We're so lucky to have lots of family around and my sister in law stayed with her most of the time, and my mother in law did some of the other. It worked out so well to go into labor in the middle of the night and have him by late morning. My sister in law came to our house and Addilyn asked when she got her out of bed "Is mama having the baby?" Lauren brought her to the hospital after her nap that afternoon.
I was worried how she'd act, and had read a few people's advice about how the mom shouldn't be holding the baby and should pay full attention to the older child. I made sure Chris was holding Isaac when Addilyn came in and thought she'd be so excited to see me. She came running up to the bed, starting climbing up and then said "Where is my baby brother?" Saw him on Chris' lap and ran straight over there, way more concerned with him then me. I was thrilled. She wanted to hold him and couldn't believe how tiny he was.
She kept kissing him and talking about his little feet and fingers and kept saying "I love you baby Isaac" over and over. I can cry thinking about that moment and how surreal it felt that he was part of our family and that Addilyn was a big sister. I also couldn't believe how immediately my tiny two year old looked like a giant and weighed a hundred pounds.
When we got home a few days later Addilyn had made a cake for Isaac with my mother in law. Carrot cake, which is my favorite! It was so sweet and she was so excited for him to be home.
Our first morning together as a family of four:
Transitions are hard. Especially when you're so used to your normal routine, like Addilyn and I have been for quite awhile. It has been an adjustment for sure and we are only getting started! But she has done so much better than I expected. She is so sweet with Isaac, is thrilled to show him off and tells him she loves him so many times a day. I am definitely having my moments of struggling with not having my undivided attention for either of my kids and missing my time and days with just Addilyn, yet wanting nothing but to sit and hold Isaac all day long. It is hard and I remind myself that giving Addilyn and Isaac a sibling is such a gift and blessing and that they will both be better for it. I still can't believe I can say kids now and already can't imagine life without my sweet boy!
March 20, 2016
top: c/o make me chic shoes: justfab scarf: target
This top is perfect for nursing because you can just unbutton the top. I forget how much nursing dictates your wardrobe, especially at the beginning when you're doing it so often. Which means a lot of my summer dresses will be a no go.
I think I'm going to be dealing with some Sunday night depression for awhile because the weekend is over and Chris goes to work for a whole week. Weekends are so nice because it's more time to rest, sleep a little longer while Isaac is sleeping and he gets up with Addilyn, and more help around the house. And the bachelor isn't on so less reason to look forward to Monday.
Chris and I were going to go out to dinner with just us and Isaac on Saturday while Addilyn was going to sleepover at my in laws. It ended up not happening but I badly wanted to get out of the house, so the four of us went to an easy dinner and to Old Navy and ice cream. All very short trips, but we made it. I'm sure it will take lots of practice and time before it seems easy or normal to be out.
Addilyn has been struggling to go down for naps and for bedtime and her morning wake up has been all over the place. From 5:00 to 7:00 and all in between. I'm sure it's a combination of adding a new baby, the time change and just being a toddler, but I'm ready for it to be over.
We don't have plans this week and the weather is supposed to be cold, even saying snow one day. That may just heighten my hormones to a whole new extreme. I need some things to make the week go faster. Help.