Addi says what

You know that cost per wear idea for outfits?  We'd be in the negative number with Addi and this dress.  She would pick this everyday if it were always clean. 
"When you were in a kid, what did you do in the olden days?"
"I love Mario day".  (She meant Memorial day.)
She saw a picture of Donald Trump on the news and in a very despairing way . .  "Oh Donald.  Donald Trump." I asked who Donald Trump is . . .   "He's a big, tough man.  He's the prisoner."
"Now I know how to properly count without the wrong numbers."
Before someone came over to our house, "I should probably put my clothes on because it's a little embarrassing to be naked when you're a big kid around other kids."
"That was a colossal party."
After taking something from Isaac, "Isaac there is no need to panic"
"Daddy is naughty sometimes.  Like he'll give me treats when you've said I've had enough sugar. And I'll say 'No daddy! I've had enough' and then he'll force me to eat it. 
I was trying to get a splinter or something out from Addi's hand, "No I'll just wait for daddy. He's really good at picking zits and stuff." 
"Give this to Isaac.  I really don't want him to panic on me."
"I bet God has really big blue goggles and big ears so he can see whatever say. And I bet he can sing and dance and do ballet."
"I'm a secret Asian. I'm so sneaky." 
After we had done our whole bedtime routine, Addi was quiet and I was about out of her room. She said to me so seriously and excitedly, "Mom! Do you know that Aaliyah can use grown up scissors without even asking her mom?" 

Four year old preschool here we come!

Wednesday Addilyn had her first day of preschool!  Last year she went two days a week for the three year old class, and this year she'll be going Monday, Wednesday, Friday in the four year old class. If you read my blog in the past you know we've had our share of separation issues, and the beginning of the year last year was rough.  Lots of tears from her the first few months and it was hard for me! I have big hopes of this year going more smoothly, as she's done it before. We love the teachers there and she has lots of familiar faces in her class.

She was excited and happy most of the time we talked about it (of course with the "I'm never going to school ever" thrown in there once in awhile), and as expected shy and nervous when we got there. But she walked right in and came running out at the end.  I am proud of her and know this is going to be so good for her!  Four year old preschool here she comes!

And really? Could she be in a cuter? Or could her backpack look any bigger on her tiny self? I could not love her more!

Jesus & Coffee

shirt: c/o rosalynne love

I recently got this tee from Rosalynne Love and I love it.  I know there should be a very extreme gap between my need for Jesus and my need for coffee, but many mornings coffee creeps up awfully close.  So this tee is perfect!  I've been following Rosalynn Love for quite some time.  I have this Gilmore Girls tumbler and I love it.  I got it during one of her sales (follow her on instagram @rosalynnelove so you don't miss any of them).  She has adorable Gilmore Girls tees that I want too! This one is on sale for only $15 along with some other cute tees too.  She has the mug version of this tee and it's on sale for $9! (Mom, if you read this get it for me for Christmas.)

I dream of mornings where I can sit on my porch and drink a cup of coffee, reading my Bible. Someday that will happen right? For now I'll have to fit both of them in, between chasing Addilyn and Isaac around.  Which I wouldn't have any other way!

Also, I'm clearly sticking to my new prairie days style.  This skirt was on clearance at Target for $10 and I love it.   And I did not realize how terribly wrinkled this skirt was until I added these pictures. I mean they didn't have irons in prairie days anyway, right??

Feeling lately . . . .

I am so late in sharing vacation pictures.  Someday.  But this is the view from the house we stayed with my family.  Isn't it gorgeous? 

This time of year is always a little hard for me.  I see tons of back to school pictures, have teacher friends setting up their classroom and getting ready for the year. I can not imagine going back to work and am so lucky I get to stay home and that is definitely what I want! But I miss teaching, and especially miss setting up my classroom and getting ready for a new year.  Some days motherhood feels so mundane and lonely and long, and I miss having the purpose and fulfillment I felt teaching. 

I've listened to a few podcasts on friendship, and have been reading the book Never Unfriended, and thinking a lot about my friendships.  I've always struggled with feeling confident in relationships and think I've always been overly sensitive.  I'm working on letting things go, focusing on relationships that are fulfilling and being a good friend regardless and continuing to initiate and be vulnerable even if not always returned.  

I am struggling with the stage Isaac is in.  I either forgot how hard it was, or he is much harder than Addilyn was at this age.  He is up so early and is so crabby, it's hard for me to start the day without also feeling tired and crabby.  He won't sit in his highchair for any length of time, some meals not at all without crying.  And he cries so hard whenever I leave him somewhere like church nursery. I could not love him more, but am anxious for this stage to pass.  I hate to wish away time and try to remind myself constantly that time goes so quickly.  

I was in a really good pattern with working out and running at the beginning of the summer.  But it's been so hot and humid and SO many mosquitoes and horseflies by our house that the idea of pushing the double jogging stroller with all that feels just about impossible.  I'd love to join a gym, but Isaac struggles so much with childcare that I don't feel like it would be worth it.  I miss feeling strong and need to figure out a new plan.

Addi starts preschool this week and I feel anxious about it.  Not nearly as much as I did last year, but anxious still. The last week or so she's said she doesn't want to go whenever it comes up.  She'll go three days a week and I just can't picture our routine and what that will look like.  What Isaac and I will do, how Addi will do and not quite ready for that transition.  

Chris and I went on a date last Saturday night and it was so good.  It's been a rough two weeks for us and we've had little time to really connect and got to talk about a lot of things.  It was such a good reminder that even when we're tired, stressed and just want space and quiet, how important it is to talk and check in with how we're doing. 

The last two weeks we visited a new church.  Kind of funny to say new because my sister, brother, in-laws, and many of our friends go there.  So a new church to us, but with lots of familiar faces. We've been at our current church for 12 years, so the idea of switching churches is a big deal.  I've honestly felt like I've struggled spiritually the last year and a half.  Finding a community, accountability and my personal relationship with the Lord.  I am ready for and praying for God to work in me and want to pursue Him deeper.

I've haven't nursed Isaac for the last few days.  I was only nursing him in the morning most days, and I've tried very hard to distract him in the morning and bring him right downstairs instead of back to bed with me.  I feel like since we've made it three days I should keep sticking it out.  I'm ready to be done nursing but it still comes with a lot of emotions to me.  I have wished with both my kids that they would've weaned on their own because it feels hard to take that away, but I'm reminding myself with Addi how in the moment it felt really hard but we got through it and were both completely fine. I go back and forth from being excited for this transition to be over to really sad that this phase is over.  Motherhood is so strange.

I had an appointment at my ob last week and walking in would've said I was 99% sure I don't want more babies.  But something about that office (which is also connected to the hospital where both my kids were born) makes me want to do it again.  Be pregnant, deliver a baby, have that newborn phase again. It just feels so final to say we're done having kids, and I'm just not 100% there yet.

Phew.  That was a lot of random things.  Sometimes these post make me wonder why I'm writing them.  I guess it feels therapeutic to put these feelings and thoughts to words.  And I always appreciate when I hear someone is feeling the same or going through something similar.  Which is the biggest reason I loved blogging in the first place!

Okay, enough rambling ;)   Thanks for reading,

Katie 

Weekend sweatshirt

sweatshirt: shein

This sweatshirt is so soft and comfy.  I'm sure there are many that disagree but I am ready for Fall weather.  Comfy sweatshirts, windows open, a new season.  This sweatshirt will be on repeat. (I'm wearing a medium for reference, as you never know with sizing and it fits perfect.)  Addi starts preschool next week and I feel all kinds of nervous thinking about starting preschool again. I'm praying it'll be an easier transition than last year, and know it is so good for her.  And I'm looking forward to some solo time with Isaac.  But for now enjoying the weekend and not thinking about Monday!  Happy Friday friends!