September 24, 2012

Holding on . . .

dress: kohls ($3 clearance)  bracelet: made by me  boots: kohls (on sale!) 


After each failed fertility treatment we've had, I've learned something new from it.
One of the things I'm learning is that I want to approach our next attempt differently.

This time I want to not hold on to all the "what ifs" and try to enjoy the other things in my life. 

At the beginning of summer I tried on a pair of bright yellow pants at the Gap.  They were $10 but I didn't buy them because they were a little tight and I was convinced I'd be pregnant soon so they wouldn't fit for long.

I didn't sign up for a handful of races this summer and fall that I had wanted to do, because I thought I'd be pregnant.

While these things are little, not only do I grieve a failed cycle ,
but also the things I feel like I missed out on.  Even if they are a $10 pair of pants.
(which embarrassingly I've thought about many times)

While some things have to be put on hold while we go through a cycle, some things don't.

When some friends at school asked if I wanted to sign up for a gym membership so we could take different classes together, my first response was going to be no.

What a waste of money if I only do it for one or two months and then have to cancel?

Then I thought about it and signed up.
I don't want to put everything on hold as we sit and wait for this part of our life to happen.

Worse case scenario, I lose a little money on a month's membership, don't get to participate in a race I paid for, or only get to wear a pair of pants a few times.

It's so easy to let this consume every aspect of my life and I don't want it to anymore. 

So today I'm working on letting go of planning all aspects of my life and taking advantage of what I can enjoy now.


Like being able to wear my fringe boots and $3 clearance dress.

58 comments:

  1. Such a great attitude! You inspire me!

    You look amazing too, love your outfit!!

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  2. Katie,
    I am so sorry to hear that you and your husband are struggling with this period in your lives. I pray that God gives you the child that is an instrument of His love. You are such a strong and beautiful woman, and I pray that this new optimistic outlook can carry you through many more road bumps to come. I think this sentiment of enjoying the time of your life when it comes your way, regardless of the circumstances that you wished you ad is very important. Our lives are so busy, and I marvel at how quickly each month passes, I want to cherish the things that I do get out and do and try instead of hoping for a better day. I hope that makes sense... I am cheering for you!
    xx
    Here&Now

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  3. I think this is a great idea. Let go and let God!
    BTW, I hate it when I regret not buying something!

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  4. Katie, you are so awesome! I did the same exact thing. "No, I can't sign up for that trip because I'll be pregnant then". It's so hard. Buttttt, you have a fantastic attitude...and I feel like with that attitude, things will start working out for you :-)

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  5. Hang in there, girl, keep your hopes up, but don't stop living your life.

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  6. I love your attitude. I think its very important to live in the moment. I'm a new follower, but sending happy thoughts and good vibes your way!

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  7. You're doi a great thing in taking advantage of the here and now. It'll all work out with Gods timing. :)

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  8. You are very inspiring. I wish you the best! And I love your boots. :)

    xo,
    http://shannonhearts.blogspot.com/

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  9. This is such an incredible attitude to have during the time that you're going through! It makes me happy though, to see that you can still see light in the little things in life because those really are the most important. Or somehow end up being what you look back on. :) Thank you for this post. You are such an inspiring woman. I'll be thinking positive thoughts for you.

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  10. is it silly if i teared up while reading this? you are an amazing woman. i wish i lived near you so i could be surrounded by your positive attitude. your boots and clearance dress are wonderful - just like you :)

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  11. What a great outlook :) And know that God has the absolute most perfect plan for you and Chris! He wants you to enjoy life and live it to its fullest for Him and His glory, which you are doing beautifully- your testimony through this blog is so inspirational to others who may be going through the same thing. Keep it up! You are being a light for Christ :)

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  12. Love the dress (AND PRICE!!). And you are right - don't put life on hold. Worst case scenario, as you said, you lose a bit of money on a bit of a gym membership but are blessed with something so amazing that will be the last thing you're thinking of. You are wonderful Katie! xo

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  13. Cute dress - and LOVE those fringe boots!
    XOXO
    -Daisy Nguyen from PS BANANAS fashion blog:
    http://psbananas.com

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  14. you are so inspiring katie! seriously, i love your attitude. praying for you guys every time i think about you....which (not embarrassingly is a lot) :)

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  15. My husband and I are experiencing the dreaded infertility, and I just recently started to blog a bit about it. It has proved to be helpful for me as we go through this journey, and it encourages me even more reading posts like this. I keep reminding myself that God is allowing us to go through these things for a reason. Still not sure what that reason is. I do know that it's made me a much more empathetic person.

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  16. So sorry to hear about your struggles! My sister and her husband had trouble too. After well over 3 years, they got pregnant. But I know how hard it was for her along the way. I'm sure you will get there too. And it will be worth every moment waited. Sending positive energy your way!

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  17. Good luck! It must be really tough to get through each month always thinking 'what if'. Sending lots of positive thoughts your way!!

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  18. Yep... Twins. I've finally decided to let go and not worry about getting pregnant anymore. It's just too stressful! Also, I totally believe it will happen when it's supposed to.

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  19. You have such an amazing outlook. Stay positive and know your perfect plan/timing will be. Thinking of you! Love those boots.;)

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  20. Katie- you just tugged my heart strings big time. I pray for you guys often and know that the Lord has an incredible plan for you and a family! (Not to mention, he knows you'll be a killer mom!) But until then, enjoy every single but of life you can.... it is a privilege denied to many! :) Thinking about you!

    Amanda
    It's an Easy Life

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  21. Perfect for fall! xo

    Smile On:)...Classy Pam

    http://classypam.blogspot.com/

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  22. Brava! I often think this way when it comes to the army. And even when thinking about having kids. "Oh, well we'll just be moving.." or "Oh, we might as not buy that now because he's not here to enjoy it".
    That's not life; it's a substitute for it. And I'm probably not the most positive thinker in the world, but I've been slowly coming around to understanding this over the last 2 years.

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  23. I needed this post. I do this sooooo often. I only buy clothes now that would work if I got pregnant. How ridiculous. I love your attitude. I need to start thinking this way. You inspire me. Xo

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  24. I really like the lace detailing on your dress, but I was definitely most drawn to your writing. It can be tough finding that balance between accepting things as they are and keeping hope, but you seem like you're doing a beautiful job. All the best!

    Sincerely,
    Sabrina

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  25. What a hard stage of life. I am so sorry I am impressed with your attitude! Live life to the fullest girl!!! Live life!!!

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  26. Such a good post. I can relate (as you know) and I've kind of taken your approach the past couple of months. And it's been well worth it. I've gotten back in shape which makes me feel better, and have tried to do something fun every weekend. I know what you mean though...it's easy to focus on just the baby stuff...but it's so important to just keep living life...because there are so many beautiful moments to be had.

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  27. Katie, you have SUCH an amazing attitude and you are SO right! Stop putting things on hold... this life is way too short. Go get 'um girl :)

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  28. You are my hero, I know how hard it is to have this mentality.....and I really hope you can enjoy these stuff until....you can't for new and exciting reasons!

    Carly
    www.lipglossandcrayons.com

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  29. I can't imagine how hard it is but I really admire you for having such a great attitude! It's definitely important live life to the fullest! Loving your boots btw :)

    Xo,
    Angela

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  30. I think your so right. Things in our lives are not really in our control anway and it's so easy to forget that. What a wonderful positive attitude you have :)

    I'm so jealous of your boots! I've wanted a pair forever.

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  31. I can imagine it must be hard not to let that completely consume you! But I'm glad you are going to still go ahead with things like the gym membership. I really feel that everything tends to happen when we least expect it :)

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  32. That is such an amazing outlook to have, Katie! It must be difficult not to let this influence decisions, but I'm glad you're going to keep living life to the fullest :)

    -Sharon
    The Tiny Heart
    Sept. Group Giveaway

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  33. awesome boots!

    http://coffeebeansandbobbypins.blogspot.com/

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  34. Great attitude. I had trouble getting pregnant as well. I used Clomid. I have PCOS and ended with a hysterectomy at age 31. btw.....love the dress!!

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  35. You look awesome Katie :-)

    Your posts are so inspiring Katie! I'm so glad you share these moments. God has a plan for you. You are blessing others through your experiences and that is just wonderful. Enjoy that gym membership! Live for today and give the worries of tomorrow over to God.

    http://hopefaithandblessings.blogspot.com/

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  36. I am so with you on this! I'm a planner and a constant "what if" person too. My husband is the one who has to constantly remind me to just enjoy the moment. I am keeping my fingers and toes crossed for you during this next treatment. :)

    xo, Yi-chia
    Always Maylee

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  37. I look forward to your blog each and everyday. It is one of the first ones I go to, you are so inspiring and I wish yall the best of luck when continuing this journey. God has big plans for you and I am praying for yall each step of the way.

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  38. So true Katie! I am horrible when it comes to the "what ifs". That is what kept me from looking to get out of my last job sooner and I still do the same thing when it comes to us talking about future vacays, get-togethers , etc....It sucks trying to find that middle ground where you don't let it control your life!
    PS. You look good in that color!

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  39. Love this post! You have a great attitude and I agree with you, you definitely need to take advantage of the things offered to you that you want to do. No sense in missing out on them you know? You rock those fringe boots! I love them!

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  40. Hi Katie,
    I am so sorry to hear about your fertility struggle, but I am so proud that you put it out there! So many women feel ashamed of fertility issues, and it is people like you that make it ok to talk about it! What courage...I will keep you in my prayers!! Thank you for checking out my site, and liking our items! I love getting positive feedback! I will talk to my husband "AKA business partner" and look into sponsoring you!
    And I totally love the outfit and boots!!!

    Carole Fuchs
    www.pipleyvintage.com

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  41. I love you, and your awesome attitude. Praying for you.

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  42. I'm with Denise - you have a great attitude.

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  43. Love this outfit and love your attitude! You rock lady!
    xo, Katie

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  44. Love your positive outlook...and you are so right! Do things when you can, while you can...I just know God is going to bless y'all with a sweet little baby. Sending prayers and happy thoughts your way, pretty lady.

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  45. I think you are incredibly brave!!! Keep living your life and don't think too much. I am the person who always worries, and I am learning that worrying and putting things off tends to make me feel worse. You are having the right attitude. And you rocked the fringe boots.

    <3
    Erin
    www.cali-landchic.com

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  46. That's a great plan Katie :) And you look so cute in those awesome boots!

    Annie
    The Other Side of Gray

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  47. You are so wise Katie Jane. As beautiful as you look (and let's be honest, you are gorgeous) your true beauty comes from your tender, honest, loving heart. My heart hurts for all the pain you face. I love you.

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  48. Wow Katie!!! I know how it is trying to be strong sometimes and then realizing that you have to let some things go and just enjoy the life God has given to you to enjoy. Praying for you my friend<3

    Btw $3 is a steal! I really like Kohl's

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  49. So CUTE!!!! I love your boots. :-)

    http://therealfoodrunner.blogspot.com/

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  50. I just want to give you a big ol' ((hug))!!

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  51. I heart you Katie and your amazing outlook! You really are such a special person and friend!

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  52. I am so proud of you! You are making the right choices by continuing to move forward...don't put your life on hold because life is NOT going to wait around for you!!! I know you are facing struggles, but you are also faced with so many other amazing things that you NEED to take advantage of!! ;) xoxo

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  53. You have a wonderful attitude about a huge trial in your life. My parents were unable to have children and I am grateful for their huge trial because it means they adopted me and it is one of my biggest blessings.

    I struggle with putting my life on hold for things much much less significant and I really needed to read this!

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  54. Somehow just came across this blog post. Thanks for sharing. I also struggle with infertility and have done every fertility treatment under the sun. Luckily we did have success but I know how frustrating this is. If you have questions or need someone to talk to feel free to email me somethingbroughtyouhere@Gmail.com
    XO,
    Whitney

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  55. Love this post - and it is so true! It's so easy to get caught up in a cycle time after time (I've been there twice) and feel a range of emotions during each one. Whew! Keep trucking on and take care of yourself and your marriage and keep the faith that it'll happen :) glad I found your blog! ~Ashley

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  56. Fantastic post - just what I needed to read... looking forward to your response ;)

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