August 5, 2014

A lesson I wish I could learn sooner


One thing that has surprised me about motherhood is how much I have learned about myself.  I had no idea how much taking care of Addilyn would expose areas that I struggle with, remind me of who God is over and over and how often I would find myself thanking God for giving me what I need when I need it.  

Lately the biggest lessons I'm learning is patience and flexibility, neither which have ever been a strong suit of mine.  I think both those qualities are on the opposite spectrum of someone with control and worry issues at the top of their list.   

The other day we had plans of going to church in the morning, head to a friends' birthday party and then come home for Addilyn's nap.  For the last few weeks Addilyn had been waking up at the same time, had predictable naps times and I figured this day would be the same.  (Will I ever stop being surprised or disappointed when things don't go as I planned in terms of her sleep?)  Addilyn woke up extra early, which I thought would mean  a longer morning nap.  Turns out it equalled the opposite.  We headed to church with her crabby, tired self, where she cried on and off while in the nursery.  

Here I was, embarrassingly bent out of shape because she was so off schedule, and I immediately went to thinking the rest of the day was ruined.  That she'd be crabby all afternoon, the party would be a disaster and I could count any nap out of the question.  It really is truly embarrassing how dramatic I can get when our day doesn't go as planned.  (Remember, my confession of motherhood making me dramatic?  As if I needed more proof.) 


Guess what?  She was completely fine.  She didn't remember that she slept only 25 minutes that morning. Or that she cried on and off for 45 minutes during church.  She was as happy as could be within ten minutes of picking her up from the nursery at church and was totally fine at the party.  She even took a good nap when we got home.  

I wish it was that easy for me to move on.  To not count the day as over or hard when it's only 12:00.  To remember that we can "start over" at anytime of the day.  And even if the rest of the day was a disaster, so what?  It's a day.  Tomorrow would have been a brand new one.   

I long to be a person with more flexibility.  But I'm not really sure how to do that.  I need to remember this in the midst of days where our plans change or things don't go the way I hoped.  Little things like Addilyn's nap schedule or big things like success and hardships of Chris' job.  Life is never going to go just as I planned.  I'll be so much less disappointed and thrown off if I accept that I am not in control of things.  And I'm pretty sure I'd enjoy the days even more.  



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11 comments:

  1. I can SO relate to this! Flexibility is a total foreign word to me. And I hate it, because when I start getting anxious about things that are out of my control I end up ruining my attitude for the whole day. I wish I could just snap out of it, but unfortunately some days it just isn't that easy. Definitely one of those things I'm working hard on!

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  2. I feel like I will be struggling with the same things so I'm really glad you wrote this. I'll have to start praying about these things right now. XO

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  3. I feel like it's our job as moms to be a little less flexible when our kids are so young. We are the ones watching out for their schedules. As they get older, I promise you will start to relax more and be more flexible. It's easier when the naps stop altogether!! You're doing a great job!

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  4. I feel like you could have written this about me being a mom :) I am so not flexible or patient, but I can see how you would have to learn those things quickly as a parent. Gives me hope that I will be able to learn it too!

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  5. I can so relate!! You always learn this lesson after the fact too. But my little always surprises me and I feel like I should know better.

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  6. Yes! Yes! Yes! I need to constantly remind myself to relax and calm down, it's not the end of the world...maybe close to it, but not the actual end of the world, haha.

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  7. I find myself with the same expectations and most of the time they end up being right, but there are the odd time where he works it out!! Im trying hard to let go and just let things happen as they will. It is a struggle! But it has soo far worked out well!

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  8. she is so freakin adorable though!! and yes girl i too need more patience! ahh starting to think i need a presc. for xanax! lol

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  9. I can completely relate. Olive will get into a pattern for several days and then I start to count on it. When things don't go as I've planned, I find myself getting frustrated. It's hard for me to be flexible and it's something that I am constantly working on. Babies make for excellent teachers and I just need to work on being a better student.

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  10. Ok I can SO relate. I love your posts Katie. And that top photo is soooo beautiful.

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  11. Ok I can SO relate. I love your posts Katie. And that top photo is soooo beautiful.

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