in the smaller moments

Before having Addilyn I would have characterized myself as a homebody.  I got overwhelmed when we were busy.  I didn't like having something every night of the week and felt exhausted when we had busy weekends in a row with lots of people and many plans.  I felt recharged when I spent time alone. I savored nights at home, sitting on the couch.  

While I still am perfectly content spending evenings at home after Addilyn goes to bed, and actually often prefer that than having plans in the later evening, during the days I struggle when we don't have plans.  I get antsy staying home all day with Addilyn.  I get bored and feel like we've run out of things to do quickly.  I dread the thought of cold, winter days where we're stuck at home.  

I'm so lucky to have a lot of friends that stay home with their kids and we almost always have plans each day.  Even if it is visiting one of my friends at school, or meeting a friend at a park for an hour.  Days where I have no plans I almost count the day from the start as long.  

A few weeks ago Addilyn had hand, foot, mouth disease and besides one brave friend who kept our playdate, we stayed away from friends for the week.  And it was really hard for me.  

I know Addilyn is still so little, but everyday I feel like she picks up more and more.  I want her to be content staying at home.  To not have to fill every minute with one thing after the next.  Which I realize sounds kind of silly to a one year old.  Clearly I'm not expecting her to sit still and do nothing, but to not fill our days with plans after plans.  I want to be more content playing at home.  Finding things to do around our house and being happy with a day just the two of us.   To not be on the phone talking or texting so often, and to be more present.  

I want to work on finding joy and contentment in the smaller moments.  In chasing Addilyn around the house or playing with bubbles in the bathtub.  In the excitement of her saying a new animal sound or eating a new food.   I'm determined to be more content with simple days and quiet moments.