IF

The last two days I attended a local IF Gathering conference and to put it simply, it was just so good.  It was good for me to have hours away from home and by myself.  It was good to spend time worshipping God and remembering how faithful and big He is.  It was good to listen to women share their hearts, encourage each other and worship together.  It was good for Chris and Addilyn to spend so much time alone together.  
It's been a really long time since I've felt a renewed passion and desire to pursue God deeper.  It's easy for me to find excuses to not attend things like this, and hard for me to feel motivated to go, but I am beyond thankful that I did.  Friday night during some prayer time at the conference I was praying that God would speak to me and was also praying at that moment that Addilyn would go to bed easily for Chris, as I tend to get anxious around that time of the night when I'm not home.  Right at the moment a friend, who did not know where I was or what this weekend looked liked for me, texted me that God put on her heart to pray for me right then.  Isn't God amazing?  
Ending something like this is hard because I have a million thoughts in my mind.  There were so many talks and stories that have me processing through everything.  I have a notebook filled with thoughts, verses and ways God may be trying to work in me and I don't know what to do with all of them.  
Sometimes it feels so overwhelming and I think easy to compartmentalize this weekend and not spend time really thinking about all the things God can teach me through it.  I'm thankful for this blog, as a place to write things out, a motivation to share what God's teaching me and encouragement in finding others who feel the same way.  I'm excited to look over my notes and even listen to some of the talks again.  
At the end of the conference you were given a rock and were asked to write on it your next step in being obedient to what God wants you to do.  The place that God may be calling you to go and that despite fears you were saying yes to it.  To be honest I feel a little lost in that at first.  I don't feel like I have this specific calling like my friend who is called to be a foster mom or another woman there who is an advocate for anti human trafficking.  I kept thinking I needed something huge like a new ministry God was calling me to or a specific area in my life to work on.  
But I think God is simply calling me to pursue Him deeper.  To stop asking for wisdom and growth, but then not spending time reading His word and in prayer.  To rearrange some of my priorities. To long for closeness and deepness and to go after it so that I can really know God.  
I want to look back at the weekend and think that was a turning point in my faith.  I want what I wrote on my rock to be the start of a deeper relationship with the Lord.