The 7th Lap
I've shared multiple times that we have had our fair share of nursery struggles with Addilyn during church. Some weekends I start getting anxious Saturday night, thinking about the nursery worker prying Addilyn off of me and her screaming mama. I have a hard time focusing during the service knowing she's crying and then picking her up with her blotchy face and big tears, and extra clingy self the rest of the day. I struggle to not feel like the workers are wondering why after all this time she hasn't pulled herself together and learned to be okay in there.
We've been pretty consistent for the last five months with going, and leaving her in there even though she is crying. A few weeks ago I came back to the service after the nursery worker had to pry her off of me and I left her screaming. I was working hard to not cry myself, and my friend sitting in front of me texted me that I'm a great mom and am doing a good job. When I texted back that it feels so hard and almost hopeless she responded with this could be your 7th lap.
She was reminding me of a talk we heard at the if gathering. The speaker spoke about Joshua, who was called to take over the city of Jericho, but not in the way you'd expect. God called him to take his men and march around the city walls for seven days. And on the seventh day to shout and blow their trumpets and that then the walls would crash down. They were obedient to what God was calling them to do, despite no results for the first six days. It wasn't until the seventh day that the walls fell. (Joshua 6)
The men had no idea if it would happen. If they would've quit on the sixth day, no progress would have been made. They just had to stick it out one more day.
One more day. And the walls just fell down.
What if I give up and that week is the week we'd turn a corner and Addilyn would tough it out without crying the entire service?
I'm not a person that likes to give up. Probably to a fault. But there are certainly things in life that sometimes make me want to quit. I wanted to quit multiple times while training for the marathon. But I persevered and ran that seventh lap and finished the race. No doubt I had points in our infertility battle where I did not want to do one more IVF treatment, but that seventh lap gave us Addilyn. There's times I've wanted to give up on the same prayer request I've prayed for months after months, but I know that my seventh lap will come in that area too. I'm going to continue to be consistent in those things that I know will be worth it. Because maybe the next time it will be my seventh lap.
That has got to be tough! My son is about the same age and I find myself bothered by things too at times. It is SO hard to remind myself that everything is a phase and won't last forever (when sometimes it feels like it will ha!). Hoping you finish that seventh lap soon.
ReplyDeleteOh and I have to tell this quick story. My mom watches my son during the week; I'm a teacher. He love love loves my parents, and when I come to pick him up at the end of the day, he starts crying when he sees me. He's having fun and doesn't want to stop to go home. :-( Kind of hurts my mama heart a little each time, but I try to not take it too personally haha! I have to just be happy that he is so loved & happy when I can't be with him. I know that is the polar opposite of your problem since he cries when I come, not when I leave ha, but just thought it was funny. He is teaching me to be humble I suppose lol.
That is a great phrase to remember. Sometimes we can be very slow learners but if we don't keep trying, we'll never learn it.
ReplyDeleteAs a teacher I get this every year, at least one who cries. Stick with it!!! They are usually the ones that eventually cry because they do not want to go home!!! My Elie was one of them. Sometimes getting them a bit early and then gradually increases the time they are left helps, as does leaving something of yours with them, they know mommy will come back for her "such and such".
ReplyDeleteI desperately needed this to day for parenting struggles as well as prayer struggles. Thank you so much for sharing.
ReplyDeleteI desperately needed this to day for parenting struggles as well as prayer struggles. Thank you so much for sharing.
ReplyDeleteOh, that is super hard! luckily Micha loves the church nursery now, but it wasn't always like that, he definitely has gone through phases that he would cry when we left him there. Does she have a friend that goes there too? With Micha it helped if we would tell him he was going to play with his friend for a bit and that we would be back for him soon. Also, candy bribes could help ;).
ReplyDeleteHang in there, hopefully this is your seventh lap (I love that comparison, btw!) And try to keep in mind that this won't last forever!
The comparison to the walls falling down to your baby girl & the nursery just gave me chills. It's SO true! And can be applied to so many aspects in life. Girl, you ARE a great mother and doing so well. You love that little gal, and she knows it. That's what matters!
ReplyDeleteThis is such a good reminder! Thanks for sharing! My almost 2 year old cries when k drop him off in his church class when we go to church -- not when daddy drops him off though the little player ;) but that has often lead me to stay home and watch church online on the weekends that hubby is working at church... Thanks for sharing this!!
ReplyDeleteChandelle
www.midwest-mama.com
Very inspiring post!
ReplyDeleteVery inspiring post!
ReplyDeleteI totally understand how hard it can be! My son was in the nursery since the first months. He was always fine with going there and playing by himself, he had fun and never ever cried. Now that he turned two, he's screaming bloody murder when I (or his daddy) leave him there. Seriously!???? Like he has never had any experience with nursery before and all the workers are the same. Well, it's been adding to stress level but you know what? It's life. He needs to learn and we need to learn that sometimes it's tough. Sometimes things change but we as parents are in charge and we will not succumb to their little emotions no matter how hard it is on both of us. It's a learning curve for both of us but, hang in there and don't give up!
ReplyDeleteThey sense weakness and then will expect you to give in on other things. It's time to make a stand that we are parents and we make rules and not the other way around.
Happy Medley Blog
My daughter used to cry when I left her - she is the same age as your little one. I try to stick to the same worker each week when doing the hand-off. I also found that talking about the nursery worker really helped. We would talk about "Dottie" all week and then on Sunday morning I'd really talk up the fact that she got to go spend time with "Dottie". Pretty soon she was excited to go see her. We've not had a problem in quite some time.
ReplyDeleteHope this helps!