Currently

Feeling . . . . very much 39 weeks pregnant and ready for baby boy to come! And very much over outfit pictures.  This is the best I got.  Putting on those shoes was a workout enough.  
Looking at . . . our maternity pictures over and over.  I love them and will share them all next week!

Ready for . . . . spring weather and spring clothes (that aren't maternity) and love these ones:

one  //  two three  //  four
Having . . . a hard time believing that Addilyn is old enough to be in preschool next year. 
Watching . . . . Rattled on TLC, Jane the Virgin, and Shark Tank
Waiting on . . . . baby boy to come.  Is that even necessary to say? 
Happy Friday! Hope you have a great weekend!

Dear baby boy,

Dear baby boy, 
I can not believe we are so close to meeting you.  I have so many feelings about bringing you into this world, meeting you and having you join our family.  I feel anxious for labor and just want you to be here and healthy. I can't even wait to see what you look like.  I wonder if you will have dark hair like your sister did when she was born, or big brown eyes like her.  
We had a doctor's appointment last night and the doctor thinks that you are pretty big.  We go in next week to have an ultrasound to see, and it made me start to get more anxious about delivery.  About you being healthy when you come out, and getting here without any complications.  I laughed though because every day when we pray with Addilyn we pray that you keep growing big and strong and healthy. So many keep up the healthy, but you can hold off on the pounds this next week or so!  
I'm sure lots of moms feel this way about a second baby, but I worry that I won't get to hold you enough.  Or have much one on one time with you.  But I think you are so lucky to be born into a family with a big sister.  She is so excited for you, and while I'm sure there will be plenty of times she won't be thrilled to share me with you, you are going to love her.  You're going to get an extra person to entertain you, make you laugh and always have someone to play with.  I feel so thankful that we get to give that to Addilyn too.  You will be such a blessing to her.  
The last many nights I haven't slept much at all.  I lay awake and picture what our lives with look like once you're here.  And while I feel nervous about the transition, I can't even tell you how excited I am. How thankful I am that God has given you to us.  You are a miracle.  A blessing and will be the completion to our family.  So soon I will get to tell you all that to your sweet little face and I just can not wait.  
Love, 
your mama

One more . . . .

Really I don't know that.  I mean I'm pretty sure I'll have a 39 week update, and most likely a 40. 
What is a winter melon?  I was too tired to spend more than two minutes trying to find a better fruit comparison, so winter melon it is.  Either way I know a winter melon is big.  And round.  And heavy. Exactly how I feel these days!  I've entered the bipolar pregnant mood where I can be crying because I am so ready for him to be here and to not be pregnant and for labor to start.  Then literally five minutes later feel like I am not ready, don't want labor to start yet and am too nervous about everything that will happen, change, and how we'll adjust.  Pregnancy hormones and the waiting is rough! 
Most days I feel pretty decent, all things considered, until about 4:00.  Then it all goes downhill and all my symptoms, tiredness, achiness, nauseousness, acid reflux . . . they all come on and I am done! 
Addilyn got pink eye this first week, followed by a higher fever for a few days.  And then Chris got sick and was in bed for days I lost count of.  It was a rough week.  I felt more tired and sore that week, and I'm sure from doing more around the house and taking care of Addilyn alone all week.  I was so thankful when both of them were healthy.  So many friends of ours are sick, with sick kids and rough stuff that I'm tempted to go nowhere to avoid Addilyn catching other things.  Yet I want to take advantage of the last few weeks where we can get out of the house together.  So I'm praying lots that we all stay healthy before baby boy gets here!
This last week I've had lots more Braxton Hicks contractions and more pressure and cramping and I'm hoping it's doing something.  At my 38 week appointment I was still only dilated a centimeter, but my uterus size grew quite a bit and based on feeling my belly the doctor thinks he's pretty big already.  I'll have an ultrasound early this week and I'm assuming talk about inducing? I don't really know, as Addilyn was with me and crying and I felt flustered and thrown off at that thought. Anticipating labor, however it's coming brings so much anxiety and unknown.  Trying to continually pray and know that God is in control.  
I am so ready to meet him!!

It's coming

tee: gap  sweatshirt: c/o shein   leggings: gap maternity  shoes: dsw  initial necklace: stella & dot
On Friday the high was above 60.  Above 60 degrees!!  It snowed a good inch or two a few days before.  This time of the year the weather is nuts, but it's a sign that spring is coming and I can not wait.  It was ridiculously windy (hence the hair up in the second picture).  Like Addi probably would've been blown away, so we didn't spend time outside.  But it made me happy.  It smelled like Spring, and while I know we'll have freezing days soon it was promising.  

top: c/o shein   tank: walmart  necklace: ebay   leggings: gap
Along with this sweatshirt (which will be great zipped up with leggings this Spring) I got this shirt in the mail, and sadly it does not fit over my huge belly.  I just about included a picture but it was not pretty.  Thankfully I think it will be a perfect post baby top.  Loose, long and lightweight.  I think with a long tank top and leggings it would be super cute and comfortable!  
On the baby front . . . . I'm pretty much an emotional bipolar mess going from I'm so ready to have this baby to I'm not ready for a newborn and to have two kids.  I'm sure I'm just a treat to be around these days.

Colored Coat and Waiting

coat: c/o make me chic   top: h&m maternity   boots: just fab

I just got this coat and love it.  I can't wait until I can wear it zipped up.  Although wishfully hoping that very soon we won't need winter coats!  I actually already put out our springy decorations, as I was tired of looking at Winter things and know come baby I'm not going to be wanting to get out boxes and put things away.  Bring on Spring!

And bring on this baby! Gosh, am I ready.  Two weeks till my due date and my guesses it won't be much, if any sooner.  

Hope you all have a great weekend!

Addi says what

"I have sneeze on my hand."
Chris was playing with a sock puppet and said with the puppet "Will you be my friend?"  Addi responded, "Sorry I can't.  I'm busy."
The other night I was crying when I was sitting in Addi's rocking chair with her before bed and she looked up and said, "Oh no.  Mama are you nauseous? It's ok.  I'm right here."
Holds up my bra and says, "Are these for your nibbles?"
Often says, "What's going on here?"
"I don't know how to clap anymore.  Because I'm a big girl."  I told her I thought she could and to try. "I was just tricking you."
Addi was playing with her cousin Annie and she was being chased and I could hear her kind of yelling.  Lauren and I walked in the room and she said, "I don't know what is going on in here. I'm just trying to get away." 
Says often after she almost falls, "I dropped myself."
She got herself stuck in a toy crate and had one leg out, panicked and about to cry, "Mama!! I just don't know what to do about this!"
Her cousin pulled her hair and was in a time out.  "Is Annie going to apologize me now?"  Then a few minutes after they were playing Addi took a wand and say, "Abracadabra! Annie be kind!" 
We were in the middle of playing with marbles and Addi stood up and said "But I don't have a penis." I told her no you don't, because you're a girl and she said, "But I used to have one, but I don't anymore."

Annoyance

sweater: c/o make me chic   tee: target maternity   necklace: ebay  
Funny thing is that I had planned on writing this post about seven weeks ago, so you can only imagine the level of my annoyance by now.  I can't even remember what show it was one but the girl said, "Every once in awhile I wish that people annoyed you as much as they annoy me." 
This is so true for Chris and I and I know I've written about it before.  I have far too many things that annoy me, but somehow when you're pregnant I think you get a pass for being more easily annoyed. I wrote this post near this stage with Addilyn's pregnancy and the video clip from Friends cracks me up.  
I pretty much can not handle breathing, chomping, shaking, basically any moving or touching me. Poor Chris.  
But really poor me.  It's exhausting.  ;) 
Side note: I love this new sweater.  It was sunny and freezing, so I gave up after 20 seconds outside, so here's a better picture.  I wore this outfit three days in a row.  I mean at this point, if you find something cute that fits and is comfortable it makes sense to wear it over and over.  

The comfiest robe + a giveaway

 robe: c/o pink blush 

When I went to the hospital when Addilyn was born I knew it was probably unrealistic to think I'd be wearing a cute outfit during or after delivery.  And I was right.  I know people do it, but I don't understand how.  My labor with Addilyn lasted forever and by the time she was born I was a sweaty, exhausted, somewhat traumatized mess.  I managed to put my hair in a headband and that was about that.  The recovery was so unpleasant and messy, I had no desire to put on anything other than the hospital gown.  

I do hope that the process is a quite a bit easier this time, but no hope for looking much more pulled together.  One thing I did want this time around was a robe.  A soft one, that was short enough it would be easy and comfortable to wear sitting in the hospital bed.  With Addilyn the second day we found out she had pretty severe jaundice and had to be under the lights all but a little here and there so I could try nursing her.  She then was moved to the NICU for two nights, so we didn't end up having more than a few visitors the first day.  Again, I'm hoping this time is different and I'd love our friends and family to be able to visit.  I think being able to wear a robe over a nursing tank top would be nice and am so glad I got this one!

It's so comfy and far from hot, which I know I will need!  I'm sure I will spend days in it at home as you are nursing nonstop at the beginning.  Nursing tank top, leggings and this robe are my plan for a very long time!  Pinkblush has a ton of cute robes, it was hard to choose one.  

I've written about it before, but I am a huge fan of Pinkblush.  Both their maternity line and non-maternity line.  I have made many purchases from this this pregnancy, and actually just got two non-maternity things in the mail last week that I can't wait to wear.  They always have great sales, and always free shipping!  I'm giving away a $25 giftcard to shop, over on instagram, so make sure to enter! 

Valentine's Day

I realized yesterday we hadn't really done anything for Valentine's day, and wanted to at least do something!  Thankfully I had some sugar cookie mix so we made some heart shaped cookies and decorated a card for Chris.  Putting sprinkles in a bowl rather than giving Addi the can of sprinkles is definitely the way to go.  Lesson learned months ago. 

Don't mind the Halloween pjs.  It is much more fun as Addilyn gets older to celebrate holidays.  She had a sleepover Saturday night with her cousins at my in-laws.  My mother in law made a heart shaped cake and had little presents for all the kids ready when they got there.  I love that she can look forward to these things and get excited about them!  Crazy to think that from now on all holidays will be with two kids! 

And I just thought I'd leave you with this beauty.  She discovered she could get sprinkles to stick to her face with frosting.  Highlight for sure.

What would you do with a mini chocolate chip?

sweater: target (non-maternity)   leggings: old navy   boots: dsw
Use it to bribe your kid?  Well if you're me that wouldn't cut it. 
The other day I posted in a mom's group about Addilyn's pink eye and the woe that is giving a toddler eye drops.  Torture for the both of us.  Three times a day.  
The first time went well because she didn't know how awful it was.  The second one.  Rough. Let me preface the rest of this by saying we have defaulted to major bribery with Addilyn for medicine and for her separation anxiety.  When she was one we had to start giving her acid reflux medicine and she was terrible with medicine droppers.  It was a nightmare.  It finally started helping when we gave her a chocolate chip after each time.  A full size one I should add.  
So we started things young.  Well a friend at church whose son also struggles with the nursery gives him and Addilyn a candy cane after Bible study and church each week as a reward for staying in there.  I've given Addilyn candy for all sorts of things, and she's well aware that's an acceptable reward in our house.  Whatever.  You win some, you lose some right?
So when some moms started giving advice on my post, one mom sweetly suggested that what worked with her son was giving him a mini chocolate chips after the eye drops.  I couldn't help but laugh.  One mini chocolate chip?  If I gave Addilyn a mini chocolate chip for a bribe or reward I'd place money that she'd throw it right at me and start crying.  
And to make it worse the night before she had a really high fever, Chris was sick and in bed and I was exhausted and out of options of trying to get her to take ibuprofen (let alone eye drops) and I really needed her to take it.  I seriously bribed her with a bowl of ice cream.  A small bowl, but a bowl nonetheless.  
So thank you sweet mom for your suggestion.  I only wish that was an option over here, but our unhealthy stakes are well passed a mini chocolate chip.  

35 & 36 Weeks

Four week countdown is on!! (Give or take a few days, that is.)  I had my doctor appointment this week and now go every week which seems crazy.  He could tell baby boy is head down but not low, following right in his sister's footsteps.  Really praying this baby speeds it up a little to make labor easier for me this time.  I'm trying really hard to not worry about it and know that I have absolutely no control over how it goes, which is scary and hard.  
My belly button is doing this super weird thing that did not happen with Addilyn.  I actually think pregnant bellies with a belly button sticking out is cute, but mine isn't like it's sticking out like that. I can't even explain it but Addilyn laughs at it all the time.  Although it's better than the deep hole that it was the first two trimesters.  Pregnancy is so weird.  As are belly buttons.  
If I'm home I just about always have my shirt lifted up, and hate having anything touch my stomach. I'm applying lotion like crazy as my stomach is super itchy and I feel like it can't stretch any more! But I'm sure it will just keep on going.  
I'm at the weight gain I was when I delivered Addilyn, and trying to just let that go and not worry about the after part.  I just really don't want to train for a marathon to take the last few pounds off, so I'll be making another plan.  But definitely working on not worrying or thinking about that. Reminding myself often what a gift it is to carry this baby and how I'd have my body do anything it needed to get him here safely and healthy!
My sister and one of my best friends through me a baby sprinkle the last weekend and it was wonderful.  I got so many cute boy clothes and things, and felt loved and celebrated.  We are so lucky to have some many people that love our boy so much already.  
Four more weeks to go baby boy!

Baby boy's hospital bag + freshly picked giveaway

With less than four weeks left I'm trying to get everything done and ready for this baby! I have no reason to think he'll be coming early, but it's nice to feel ready just in case.  And four weeks will hopefully go by quickly? (Just kidding.  I know the last few weeks of pregnancy do nothing but drag on.  Wishful thinking.)  I think I did a good job packing stuff for the hospital with Addilyn, and plan on bringing just about the same things.  There really wasn't a ton I needed or used, which makes it easy!  
Here are the things I'm packing for baby boy: 
a going home outfit with clothes, hat, shoes and blanket for the carseat a swaddle blanket (I know the hospital has plenty but they aren't so cute or soft) a few hats (the one I brought for Addi was too small so I want a few just in case that happens) a book for people to sign (a post about that one soon!) a few pairs of pjs/comfy baby clothes (just in case we want to put him in something besides the little hospital tee. We didn't dress Addilyn at all until she went home.  With the doctor's checking on her often, especially with her jaundice, and she ended up being naked under the lights for a few days, we didn't use anything!) 
For his going home outfit I just have a simple pair of Carter's pjs.  I made his little hat and it has his name sewn in on the other side! I love it and sure hope it fits his head.  I'm bringing a soft swaddle blanket and then my favorite little moccasins.  I know they might be a little big but we will surely try, and then know I will be putting him in them over and over and over until they don't fit!
I'm sure you all know of Freshly Picked moccasins.  Addilyn owns a whole lot of shoes and the two pairs she has from Freshly Picked are my favorites.  Especially when she was under one, and not walking but needed something to cover her feet.  They are super easy to put on, soft and comfortable and formed and stretched to her feet.  She was able to wear the same pair for six months and I put her in them most days!  I'm super excited for baby boy to have his own pair right from the start.  
I've partnered with Freshly Picked to give one follower a pair of moccasins of their choice. Enter over on my instagram (@katiejvale)!  Giveaway ends Friday, February 12th! 

5 Things Friday

 tunic: c/o shein    leggings: old navy   boots: zulily 

1.  Tops like this make me wonder why I bought multiple maternity tops.  I love this one and am hoping it's not too huge and tent like to wear once this belly is smaller.  

2.  This week has been a little rough.  Addilyn got pink eye and even after two days of eye drops, it's looking no better.  Plus she got a fever this morning to add too it.  Can I just say how hard it is to give a two year old eye drops three times a day?  Needless to say, minus a doctor appointment for her and one for me, we've been home all week.  (This picture does not do her eye justice.  It looked so bad and pathetic.) 
3.  My sister dropped off coffee for me the other day, which was so sweet.  It's amazing how something like that can make your day so much better.  A good reminder that something little like that is a good way to make someone feel loved!  Thank you Lauren!

4.  I had my 36 week appointment today.  I am well aware that early dilation or none at all is not an indication of when your baby will come.  Good example would be that I was zero dilated and she wasn't even low the day before Addilyn was born.  But I was hoping with all my discomfort down there, Braxton Hicks often and carrying so different that I'd have some progress.  Not that I want him here too early, just would like to feel like once I go in labor things will go quickly.  He's head down but not low and nothing happening.  I have a hard time not being anxious that my labor will be long and hard like Addilyn's was.  But I know things can change so fast so I'm hoping for that!  
5.  This weekend I am going to the If Gathering at my church.  I am super excited and while a little nervous about sitting for that long or how comfortable or tired I may be, I'm excited for some good worship, to hear some amazing stories of God's work and for God to grow me and teach me.  
Hope you all have a great weekend!

Do not worry

Matthew 6:25
There's a lot of ways that this pregnancy has been redeeming for me, after Addilyn's pregnancy.  We went through so much to get pregnant with Addilyn, as well as complications at the beginning.  While this pregnancy has been physically harder, emotionally it has been so much easier.  I worried just about the entirety of my pregnancy with Addilyn.  I kept thinking once I got to the next milestone I would feel better, but then there was always another one or thing I worried about.  This time around I've been able to not worry nearly as much and have felt more at ease.  I feel like at the beginning I felt anxious about having a miscarriage and know I felt lots of nerves before my 20 week appointment, anxious to hear that everything looked good and healthy.  But otherwise I've been able to not stress about every ache and pain, and have done a better job giving those fears over to God. 
But as the end is creeping near, I'm finding it more of a struggle.  I've read handful of stories or people losing babies near the end, or having them born with serious symptoms that did not know about.  The only ultrasound we've had was at 20 weeks and sometimes it's hard for my mind not to worry that there is a health concern we missed or something else that developed.  
I've started getting anxious about labor and delivery and recovery.  I've been worrying about how Addilyn will do the days I'm in the hospital, as the most I've been away from her has been one night. I have had many evenings or moments during the day where I think how will I do this with a baby around here.  Either with Addilyn fighting bedtime or her being really needy.  
This verse is so simple.  Do not worry.  But a struggle for me to do consistently.  So I'm back to the point of waking up surrendering my fears to God and letting him take them on.  Trusting him with both my babies and the transition that is before us.  

Come on fellow mom

tunic: pinkblush maternity   denim: old navy   boots: just fab
I take Addilyn to a parent tot gymnastics class every week and she loves it.  I debated signing up for this last round as it goes up to the week before my due date and really isn't the most pleasant with my big belly.  Attempting to demnostrate a crab walk and help her with somersaults just isn't happening.  
This last week there was a new mom I hadn't seen before and she was pregnant as well.  I asked her when her due date was, and would've guessed a good two months after me as she was pretty tiny. She said February 18 and my response wanted to be "Oh my gosh! You are so tiny. What the heck?" But instead I said "That is so soon! You look amazing and have such a cute little belly."  
She asked me when I was due and I wanted to say "three weeks ago" but told her my real due date of the first week of March instead.  Her response?  "Wow!" In a drawn out shocked tone.  Then preceeded to look at the mom next to me and say "She's due three weeks after me!" 
Thank you fellow pregnant mom.  Maybe she could tell I wasn't thrilled at her comment and then told me "well my first was only six pounds, so . . . . "  I then told her Addilyn was almost 9 pounds, as if that is really the difference.  
Whatever.  Although there really should be a better understanding of what to say, especially when you're pregnant too!  
Thankfully this gave me a good laugh, and I still think it's funny.