January 26, 2014

A sick baby and too many random thoughts

I'm giving myself only ten minutes to write this post as any time I have this weekend where I'm not holding my sick baby I'm trying to rest myself, so I apologize for jumbled thoughts and a random post. 

Addilyn woke up really sick on Thursday at about 9:00 and it's been rough ever since.  She has some form of bronchitis a croupy cough.   

Watching your baby is pain has to be the worse part about being a parent.  Every time Addilyn coughs she starts crying and I know she is in so much pain.  This weekend she's made faces and cries that we've never seen before and they break my heart.  I feel nervous that this is going to turn into something more serious as she still seems so sick this morning.  

I feel incredibly lucky to have family close by.  Chris had to work on Friday and I had to go back to the doctors for the second time because Addilyn couldn't keep the medicine down and they were going to give it to her in shot form.  My dad came over and drove us to the doctor.  My mother in law came over earlier to try to help get Addilyn to take her medicine.  I know my parents will help me tomorrow as Chris has to work and I can't give Addilyn her nebulizer treatments alone and they'd be happy to give me a break and hold her for awhile.  

I've started to get sick myself and feel quite frustrated that it has come at the most inconvenient time.  
In the last 72 plus hours there hasn't been more than a few minutes that Addilyn hasn't been held.  She coughs so much and has been so uncomfortable we haven't been able to get her to sleep on her own.  I get these moments of worry that she won't go back to sleeping in her crib but there is not a part of me that isn't going to not hold her because I know that it what she needs right now. 

Sleep deprivation and worry can cause me to be on edge and has brought a few arguments between Chris and I.  Parenting makes it harder to feel connected to your spouse when things are going well, but when things are rough, it makes it feel even harder.  I need to remind myself that we are a team taking care of Addilyn and things will get better and we'll both have more energy soon.  

I think God uses these times to teach us things, and one of the things I'm learning is that a really sick baby puts things into perspective for me.  Sleeping problems seemed like such a trivial problem a week ago.  While that is trying, a sick baby is a something to be really concerned about and the other things don't seem like things to obsess and worry about.  

I've had moments here and there this weekend where I don't feel cut out to be a mom.  I feel like I can't handle the scariness of an unhealthy baby and the responsibility that comes with that.  I'm reminding myself that God picked me to me Addiyn's mom and will give Chris and I what we need to take care of our baby. 
I can't even imagine those families that are constantly dealing with a sick baby or a serious illness.  I don't know how they do it.  I'm so thankful that we have a healthy baby. 

I have no idea what blogging will look like this week as I normally spend a good amount of time working on posts on weekends.  Plus I have not been dressed for days and don't think I will in the next few days either. I know it's bad when I've run out of sweatpants because they are all in the wash thanks to baby throw up.   Thank you so much for your well wishes and prayers. 

Photobucket


31 comments:

  1. Katie,

    this post breaks my heart!! I will be thinking of you and the baby in the coming days and I hope she feels better rapidly. although we haven't had to do the breathing treatments, a double ear infection knocked my adelynn on her ASS in December and as a mom it is so hard.

    one of my biggest downfalls (according to my husband) is that I underestimate myself and it is so easy to do when you are a mom. just remember, there is no way to be a perfect mom but there are a million ways to be a great one!

    thinking of you!!!! and saying our prayers!!!

    ReplyDelete
  2. I'll be praying for you! I think something's going around bc my friend's baby has this same cough thing too. Hope you get to feeling better and the little one too.

    ReplyDelete
  3. When my kids are sick I instantly get thrown into anxiety mode. I never realized how hard it would be. Matt's attitude is, they're kids, they get sick. That drives me crazy. I guess that's the difference between men and women, right? Just know that you have a lot of people praying for you and that this won't last forever. XO

    ReplyDelete
  4. Oh no! Hope you and your sweet girl feel better!

    ReplyDelete
  5. I am so sorry you have such a sick little girl, I really hope she gets well soon!

    xx Kelly
    Sparkles and Shoes

    ReplyDelete
  6. Praying for you and sweet little Addilyn. You're right, God made you her mom and He will help you through this. You're a wonderful mom, I can tell. Xoxo

    ReplyDelete
  7. Hang in there, Katie! You three will get through this! God values you and cares for you and your sweet Addi. I say put on some worship music and rest in His love. I will be praying for you!

    ReplyDelete
  8. Praying for you. Will email tmrw when I can put thoughts together. I have been there!!!

    ReplyDelete
  9. oh girl and here's my idiot self sending you emails! Ignore em all and feel better and i hope lil girl starts to feel better soon!! :( hugs!

    ReplyDelete
  10. I'm so sorry Addilyn is so sick. I will continue to pray for you all. For her to heal VERY quickly, for you and Chris to get some sleep, for Addilyn to go back to sleeping in her crib with no problems and for you all to be happy and healthy. You are a great Mom, don't let the enemy tell you otherwise. Prayers friend!

    ReplyDelete
  11. Oh no!! I am so sorry!!! I hope she gets to feeling better SOON!

    ReplyDelete
  12. Prayers for you and baby! It's so heartbreaking when our babies are sick.
    Prayers for healing and rest. :-)

    ReplyDelete
  13. Hi Katie,

    Just wanted you to know that we are praying for your sweet baby girl's health...and for the health of you and your husband. I know this is not easy and it must be overwhelming but you will get through it!

    ReplyDelete
  14. I'll be praying for you! I hope she feels better really soon!!

    xo,
    Angela

    ReplyDelete
  15. I hope addilyn gets better soon and you don't get too sick. Your post is so true- puts things into perspective.

    ReplyDelete
  16. I hope your little angel gets better soon!

    www.highheelsandtutus.com

    ReplyDelete
  17. I'm praying for you Katie! It's so rough having a sick baby and not feeling well yourself! Don't worry about blogging, do only what really needs doing, like cuddling Addilyn! And don't be afraid to ask for help!
    xo

    ReplyDelete
  18. I'm so sorry Addilyn is sick. Finn hasn't gotten sick yet so I can't imagine what you're going through but I will keep your family in our prayers. Stay strong!

    ReplyDelete
  19. i hope as i'm typing that she (and you) both feel better. we had that with eva when she was a baby, and ended up in the hospital for three days. it was so scary, but they took care of her (and us). i am happy you have family, and each other, to keep you strong. hang in there!

    ReplyDelete
  20. Poor sweet baby girl. Hope she feels better soon. <3

    ReplyDelete
  21. Hoping your little family is back to being healthy soon!

    ReplyDelete
  22. Girrrrrrllll.... You are better equipped than most to be a mom... You have got to give yourself a break and when things get bad and you feel depressed you say," I won't always feel this way" remember... Those hormones are nasty buggers and some of what you're feeling IS chemical!!!! Tell your dr. If it doesn't go away.... Being a mama is sooooo hard and you are doing a GOOD job:)

    ReplyDelete
  23. I'm so so sorry she isn't feeling well. Poor baby! That HAS to be the hardest part about being a momma...I can't imagine. Praying for your whole family tonight, ma'am!

    ReplyDelete
  24. Oh poor sweet girl :( I can't even imagine how much your heart is breaking for her! Don't ever doubt yourself, this post speaks so loudly about how cut out to be a momma you are! Hang in there, sending all the "feel better Addilyn" vibes that I can!!

    ReplyDelete
  25. I am so sorry for both of you. Poor little Addilyn. Agreed--seeing your child in pain is the hardest thing ever. Prayers that both of you feel better soon.

    ReplyDelete
  26. aww I hope that your sweet girl feels better!

    ReplyDelete
  27. Breaks my heart! McKinlee was sick for a week when she was 7ish months and it was the worst! I totally know the feeling of not being cut out for motherhood. All the cuddling and smiles make every ounce of worry and concern melt away. Babies are amazing that way!

    ReplyDelete
  28. You are an amazing mom. Hope she is better real soon. Sending you love and strength. Xo

    ReplyDelete
  29. aww Katie I hope you and your baby girl are both feeling better soon. :( I've only experienced it a bit so far (reactions to 2 month vaccinations) but I know exactly what you mean about it being so hard to watch your child in pain, knowing there's so little you can do. I think your concern just goes to show how truly cut out to be a mama you are.

    ReplyDelete
  30. Oh my goodness, I really hope that she is starting to feel better! Having a sick baby is the absolute hardest thing ever. You wish so badly you could just take it all on for them. And I don't think you should fret at all about the sleeping thing. I make exceptions for my baby girl when she's sick and she always goes back to her regular routine afterward. I think you are spot on to just hold and comfort her right now. Your touch is healing for her. Aw, you are such a good mom! I'm sending positive thoughts and prayers your way!

    ReplyDelete

Thank you for leaving a comment! It makes my day!