. . . for Lauren and Lauren

June 29, 2016

On feeling like a dud on family vacation

Don't they look thrilled? 

Our vacation really was great.  All these pictures capture so many fun and happy moments. But let's be honest. Vacation with kids is not quite relaxing.  And there were definitely some things that made this trip hard.  

Last year on our trip I was almost two months pregnant, super nauseous, Chris was only able to stay for half the week and Addi had a hard time letting anyone do anything for her but myself.  I went to bed early every night, was tired, and felt like a total dud.  I remember thinking that next year will be so much better.  While I didn't feel nauseous and did have more fun, I still felt like a dud. 

We were all sleeping in one room so Isaac would be ready to be asleep by 7/7:30, but Addilyn not asleep until at least 8 so I'd hold Isaac outside the room until Addi was out and then sneak in to lay him down.  Many nights he'd wake up within an hour if not sooner so I'd rush in to not wake Addi up. He never stayed asleep for more than three hours ever, maybe not even two that week and I was exhausted.  I felt like I spent a good amount of evenings rocking him or nursing him downstairs. I had to work hard to not feel crabby during the day because I felt so tired! 

Leaving to go to a winery with the girls felt like it took planning as to when I'd nurse him, when someone would need to sleep.  It just felt hard.  And tiring.  

This season of parenting is hard.  Nursing a baby so often, not being able to have him out in the sun too long, getting such little sleep, not having our normal routine.  It takes an embarrassing amount of work for me to relax and not stress about travel, routines, vacations.  Heck, I wasn't even a good traveler before kids.  

I'm thankful for all these pictures to remind me that although it was hard and tiring, it was fun and worth it to go.  And to remember that this is a season.  That traveling and activities and vacations will get easier and to keep doing it even though it's a lot of work because it's still worth it.  

And next year I hope to be a slightly less dud.  I'm hopeful.  ;) 

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June 28, 2016

Nursing, bedspreads and car seat help!

 dress: c/o  shein    bracelet: nickel and suede 

A few of you commented how I nurse with maxi dresses/strapless bras.  I've just put a nursing cover on, and pulled my arm through the strap and then pulled my bra down.  So basically pretty naked under the cover.  :)  Obviously you need straps that are looser.  This dress is perfect and it has pockets!  

We are getting new carpet in two weeks and I've wanted to paint my bedroom for years and figured now is the time.  So this weekend thanks to some help from my brother we got it done and I love it. Now I need a new bedspread and pillows.  I would LOVE to have a white bedspread with a colorful blanket and pillows but feel like white is so impractical with little kids.  Addi will have a snack on my bed while I shower or get ready, I change diapers on it, Molly lays on it.  Probably not a good idea, right?  Maybe some day.  

Isaac has decided he absolutely hates the carseat.  For such a happy baby he can sure scream so loud. The other day we got stuck in traffic and were in the car for 45 minutes and he screamed the entire time.  It was awful.  He was so sweaty and exhausted.  I seriously would spend some good money on something that made him happy in the car, but I'm pretty sure that doesn't exist, does it? 

I can't get over how big Addi looks in this picture.  She is almost three which is crazy!  Which also means I should probably start planning something for her birthday!  Yikes.

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June 26, 2016

Fireworks. To go or not to go.

 dress: c/o make me chic     shoes: old navy

This dress (only $17 on currently 25% off!) is super comfy and perfect for summer and especially the fourth of July.  Last year we went to a fourth of July parade but Addi stayed home from the fireworks. We felt like it wasn't worth a super late bedtime and she didn't know what she was missing out on.  I think we'll plan on taking her this year and I think she'll love it!  Now to decide if Isaac should go or one of us stay home.  Do you bring your babies and toddlers to fireworks?  

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June 23, 2016

Guess their age

top: c/o shein    jeans: gap   shoes: old navy  

A few months ago we had new neighbors move in and they are a super nice younger couple.  My sister was over and Chris and I were talking about them and she asked how old they were.  I said they were our age and Chris started laughing, informing me that they were 19 and 20.  So really not our age at all, by more than ten years.  I one, suck at guessing ages and two think I am way younger than I am.  

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June 22, 2016

The better moments.

The other day around 5:00 I was feeling pretty accomplished for the day.  I had taken Isaac to the doctor and then grocery shopping.  I got a load of laundry folded, and a workout video in.  Addi played outside in her little pool while Isaac and I watched, and was happy most of the day. 

We had music on, both kids were happy.  I was making a batch of breakfast burritos to freeze.  Isaac was starting to get fussy so I put him in the wrap, thinking he'd fall asleep.  Addi was playing with play dough at the table and I thought "man if Chris came home right now, we are in good shape. I look like I have everything completely under control."  Music on, Isaac asleep, Addi playing happily at the table, me cooking.  

Five minutes later.  Isaac wouldn't fall asleep and kept crying so I tried to put him down for a nap. Addi got tired of playing by herself and started running around the house, loud, and naked.  Isaac was overtired but wouldn't stay asleep.  I was sweating and immediately so tired.  It's crazy how fast things can go from feeling really put together to falling apart.  

There's been plenty of phases where we've struggled with Addi and bedtime.  We can have a wonderful day and then the last hour or two feel exhausting and miserable.  I've started working harder to not let that last hour or so define how I felt about the day.  To remove that hard moment, or even moments when I think about our day.  Otherwise I'd be going to bed feeling defeated and frustrated.  

So much about parenting is extremes.  The idea of Isaac growing up is exciting and there are so many things I can't wait for.  But the fact that he is moving farther and farther away from being a little baby is sad.  There are so many things I love about staying at home or about breastfeeding.  But there are things that make both of those hard and I can't wait until I can have more space and feel more like myself.  

There's things that feel hard these days, like getting Isaac down for a nap or to stay asleep more than an hour at bedtime.  I can end the day feeling like I'm failing at establishing any kind of routine for him .  Or that we have days Addi has an accident or has whined a thousand times.  But there are always good moments.  

My new goal is to end the day thinking of those more "perfect" moments.  Even if they are just moments.  Like when Isaac and I got home from the doctors and Addi ran up to him, gave him a huge hug and said "I missed you so much Isaac. I'm so glad you are home!"  Or how I rocked Isaac to sleep while watching Addilyn play naked on our deck with her water table.  Her tiny little booty with tanlines.  Or the ten minutes when Isaac was super happy in the wrap while I was making dinner and Addi was making "dinner" with her play dough.  

There's always going to be hard moments during the day, but there will always be good ones and I'm working on ending the day thinking of those.  

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