. . . for Lauren and Lauren

October 22, 2014

Treat yo self

striped cardigan
fall outfit
sweater: c/o sheinside     jeans: old nay   boots: zulily 

Last week I had the most relaxing day I've probably had since Addilyn's been born.  After Addilyn's morning nap I got to go get my hair done, which takes a nice long almost two hours.  Then later that day I got an hour long massage and went to a friend's house for girls night dinner.  It was wonderful. As I was running the marathon I thought about this day multiple times, and it felt like a much deserved reward after working so hard that day.  

I used to hate spending money on things that I couldn't tangibly keep.  I would have never spent money on a massage, or rarely spent money to get my hair done.  While I surely spread out my hair appointments and can't imagine being able to justify getting a massage often, it was wonderful and I'm so glad I did it.  And would happily do it again.  It felt so nice to have hours to myself and I felt relaxed and happy.  Maybe it's getting older or Chris rubbing off on me, but now I certainly enjoy experiences almost as much as buying new clothes.  

To add to my pampering day, I got this sweater in the mail from Sheinside and I wore it three days in a row.  It's so comfy and I'm going to keep wearing it all the time.  

sweater and boots

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October 21, 2014


top and pants: old navy   shoes: kohls 

My sister texted me a picture of these shoes and I went to Kohls the next day to buy them too. Remember how they kept sending me $10 for their remodeling? Well they did it a few more times, which meant I bought these shoes for less than $10.  

My brother in law thought that Lauren wearing these was a joke and that they were the ugliest things he's ever seen.  Luckily for me, Chris could care less about these shoes, more because I don't think he ever knows what I'm wearing.  

While Chris does randomly compliment me regarding an outfit, most of the time he's quite unobservant.  After spending a day together, I used to play this game with him where I would ask him to close his eyes and tell me what I was wearing at the moment.  Very rarely could he describe my outfit.  The day I wore this outfit he didn't even make a comment about these wild shoes. 

So sometimes his non observance works in my advantage.  Does your husband have an opinion about what you wear?  Not like I wouldn't buy these shoes if he hated them either. ;) 

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October 20, 2014

If I could do it differently

I had this post started up with a list of things that I'd like to do differently if I started over with Addilyn.  A list of things that I would want to differently if we have another baby.  Some things like let Chris comfort Addilyn during the night from the beginning, because we're kind of stuck in this bad pattern of me being the only one that can calm her down.  Or to be more consistent throughout her first year with putting her in the church nursery because now she screams and cries and it makes me dread Sunday mornings.  Things like not respond the second she makes a sound in the middle of the night for the first six months and probably setting her up to not so great sleeping habits.  To leave her for longer periods of time with our parents, have them put her down for naps and bedtime. Or how she's currently in a phase where she wants to nurse many times during the day, which she's never done and maybe I should've weaned her sooner.

For last few weeks I've been worried about all these things and have been fixating on them.  My girlfriends are going away for a night next month and I'm not going to go because I'm not ready to leave Addilyn overnight.  She still nurses once during the night and I just don't feel ready to leave her.  I know plenty of moms have left their babies overnight by this point and even lots have gone away with their husbands without their babies and feel like maybe I should be ready.  When I see posts of couples leaving their babies who are younger than Addilyn I wonder what's wrong with us, that I'm not ready for that.

Then I stop and think about how she is already 15 months.  The last year and a half have gone so quickly and can only imagine the next year and half will go by just as fast.  Then she'll be three and not even close to a baby.  These issues won't be issues anymore and they'll be replaced with different battles, like tantrums and wanting to stay and play at Grandma and Grandpa's and not come home.

So when it comes down to it I don't think I would've been able to do any of those things differently. I just did whatever I thought was the best for us, in that moment.  I'm sure down the line I'll do things differently with another baby, as it won't all feel so foreign and new.  But more probably because that baby will be different than Addilyn, and I'll have different needs and approaches at that time too.

It's so easy for me to fixate on things and I'm trying so hard to just let them go.  But it's a struggle. To remind myself that we're happy and all I can do is the best I can do.  To take it day by day and do what is working for our family. And that above anything Addilyn is loved like crazy.  And that I would do the same over and over.

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October 19, 2014

Wanting . . .

dress: target   vest: jcpenney  boots: dsw

I want to have more reasons to wear my dresses and boots.

I want to have more weekends like this one.  Low key, girlfriends over, Chris cooking breakfast, and Fall weather.

I want to continue to watch episode after episode of Gilmore Girls and dream of living in Stars Hollow.

I want to finish Addilyn's 9-12 month baby book, which means I need to start it first.

I want to stick Addilyn in a pumpkin again this year and take pictures.

I want my blistery toes to heal themselves so I can put on normal shoes again.

I want everything I wear to have pockets.

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October 15, 2014

All for the donuts

top and vest: jcpenney   boots: amazon

Two weekends ago, Chris, Addilyn and I  went to the pumpkin farm and even though it was terrible weather we had a lot of fun.  It was rainy and cold, which thankfully meant that hardly anyone else thought it was a good idea to go.  

Disregard Addilyn's poor attempt at pattern mixing.  We were rushed when we left and it was cold. What age could I start blaming poor outfits on her dressing herself?

Luckily Addilyn didn't care about the weather and loved it.  She loves the pumpkins around our house and was so excited running to all these huge pumpkins with her cute little giggle.  It started raining harder so we went inside and ate donuts and drank apple cider sitting on the floor.  We weren't there long, but really the only reason I go to pumpkin farms is for the apple cider donuts so it was a success in my book.  

But we can't really blame the weather because last year we went and only ate donuts too even though the weather was perfect.  And because I'll jump at the chance of a comparison picture . . . 

And proof that we can't win em all . . . 

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