. . . for Lauren and Lauren

July 27, 2016

Honest motherhood

I'm feeling a little discouraged about motherhood these days.  Our transition to two kids has gone better than I thought overall, but I feel like there was this honeymoon stage.  Isaac slept during the day and didn't need any kind of schedule.  He was content, happy, and I was able to focus on Addi a lot still.  My expectations for sleep were low and I didn't stress out about what I should or shouldn't be doing.  But I feel like as the months set in, these things should be lessened and I should have a better routine, more sleep and getting more things done.  Which is the opposite that is happening!

The last two weeks have been rough.  Isaac is not a good sleeper, naps or night.  Foolishly I thought that we were bound to get a better sleeper than Addilyn was and sadly he is just as bad, maybe even worse?  I spent way too much time when Addi was a baby stressing over her schedule, trying different things and reading so much about sleep.  I promised I wouldn't do that this time around and then I found myself reading sleep boards, articles, searching who knows what last night.  Comparing how your baby sleeps to others is an awful thing and a complete waste of time.  And where are the people that have sleepless babes, because can they start posting about that too?  Sometimes I struggle feeling like I'm failing because he has no idea how to go to sleep or stay asleep.  

The last two days Addi has thrown some pretty epic fits.  More intense than any she's done before and I keep thinking is this three? What if we're in this stage and how do I handle it?  

It's felt really hard to do things this summer.  I obviously wouldn't change it for anything but I find myself thinking how easy it would be to do things if it were just Addi.  

I can't figure out how to best use my free time since there still isn't much.  Addi takes great naps and if I hold Isaac he'll sleep long too, so I usually end up doing that during her nap.  Sometimes I can get a workout in when both are up but it's hard and doesn't happen easily.  Bedtime is tricky because Isaac won't stay down and by the time they're both asleep for real my energy is so not towards working out.  And then there's blogging, or a craft I'd like to do too.  I'm struggling with what to prioritize and how best to feel like I'm taking care of me during the small chunks of time I have. 

I find myself longing for future days when we can do things easily, like all go swimming or not plan around nursing or naps.  To go to a water park or a beach for a whole day.  To have movie nights on the couch and to leave the kids with grandparents for the weekend.  But then I cried the other morning when I found an appointment reminder card for my 40 week check up, thinking how sad I am that the excitement of Isaac's birth and his first weeks are over.  Motherhood emotions are crazy. Sometimes I don't know what to do with them all! 

I'm trying hard to just relax and remind myself that this is a season.  One that I'll never be in again, and that will pass and I'll forget how tired I was (right?) and soon enough this baby stage will be long passed and we'll have different things that make life tricky or tiring.  To try to soak up the good things of this stage, like the excitement of Isaac learning something new or watching Addi make him laugh.

Life is exhausting, but I am reminded how lucky I am often and working to focus on those cute faces each day!  

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July 25, 2016

Birthday Interview

What is your favorite thing to do?   playing with mama

Do you have any nicknames?   Addiyn Jane, some guys call me dinosaur, Addi

What do you want to be when you grow up? fire fighter

What is your favorite thing to do with the family?  playing with Isaac

Who are your best friends?  Lena

What makes you happy?  mama

What do you like to learn about?  dinosaurs

What makes you sad?  When Annie pulls my hair

What do you do really well?  making things

If you had a million dollars what would you buy?  play-doh and a rolling pin

What is your favorite thing to do outside?  play with mama

If you could go anywhere, where would it be?  Yumz

If you could have one wish, what would it be? a toy Addi

What is your favorite birthday present?  play-doh

Favorite things:
food: mozzarella
holiday: 4th of July
book: nursery rhyme book
toy: doggie
treat: granola bars.  and sweets.
song: lullaby and goodnight
animal: giraffe and kangaroo
movie: monsters inc. 
color: blue

Now I'm pretty sure if I would've asked her the next day her answers would be different.  But it took a whole lot of work (and some M&M's) to get these answers so we're stickin with them!

(birthday Interview found here)

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July 24, 2016

No plans

top: c/o  shein   jeans: target   shoes: dsw

The last few weekends and weeks have felt pretty busy, but this weekend we've been home quite a bit and it's been nice.  It's funny because pre Isaac I had a hard time when we had little plans.  Maybe it's because he cries in the car or with it being so hot it's hard to have him outside, but I've been happier staying home these days.  

I asked Addilyn what she wanted to do this week and told her we didn't have any plans and she said "We can just buy some more from the store.  More plans."  

Side note:  This top.  My first off the shoulder top.  I love it.  Now I just need a reason to wear it. A trip to the library or a friends' for a play date doesn't really fit. :)  

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July 20, 2016


top: c/o shein   shorts & sandals: old navy

ONE.  I just got this shirt and love it.  I think it'll be so cute with jeans and flats in the fall too!

TWO.  We haven't been actively looking for a house, although Chris often does as we've talked about moving sometime in the next few years.  Not far but to a house with more living space and in a better location.  Well this gorgeous house is for sale down the road and we've looked twice and it's becoming a possibility.  I have all kinds of emotions from super excited to overwhelmed.  Of course I got ahead of myself and have already spent hours looking on pinterest for new house ideas.  

THREE.  Addi and I made these Banana Chocolate Chip muffins this week.  Except used peanut butter chocolate chips because we didn't have any regular ones.  They were delicious! 

FOUR.  20 weeks of Isaac in my belly and 20 weeks of him here.  He doesn't look thrilled.  Perhaps he liked my belly better! 

Hope you have a great rest of your week!

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July 18, 2016

Addilyn's birthday

We had such a great time celebrating Addilyn last week!  Birthdays sure seem more fun the older she gets and the more excited she is.  When we'd ask her what she'd want for her birthday she kept saying "a fake hotdog."  Not sure why she said it the first time, but after our reaction she said it over and over.  She didn't get her fake hot dog, but lots of fun things! 

waiting for her friends

This year and last year on her actual birthday we invited her friends to a park and I brought lots of donuts and the kids sang and then just played.  It's been such a simple and easy way to celebrate. I wish I could have gotten a picture of all her friends, but it was probably for the better that we didn't even attempt it! 

For Addilyn's first birthday we threw a big party.  Dinner, cupcakes, presents, lots of family and friends.  It was a big deal.  And I loved planning for it, but it was exhausting and took a lot of time. And really more for Chris and I than her at that point!  Her second birthday and this one we have just done dessert and presents with our families and it has been perfect.  Low key, simple and still lots of celebrating our sweet girl!  

polka dot birthday party

Saturday our family came over for cupcakes and ice cream and presents.  It was perfect!  Addilyn better love polka dots because I've used the same decorations, minus a few things, for her parties each year.  (I better choose wisely for Isaac's first birthday, right?)  Happy birthday singing here!

I had made this wreath for her first birthday and now it's a tradition to hang in the first of July each year to celebrate her birthday month.  So fun to get a picture of her by it each year.  
Ending the night with birthday girl kisses!

And two more comparison pictures . . . . 

Time goes by so quickly! So thankful for a great birthday for our Addi girl!

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