Three months

Sweet baby boy -

You are three months old! I think that's officially baby territory and no more newborn.  You definitely don't look like a new baby anymore.  You are getting bigger and stronger and so alert.  I think you may just be one of the happiest babies.  You smile all the time.  As soon as someone makes eye contact with you, you give them the biggest grin.  You've started laughing and it is the best thing ever. The other weekend your dad officiated a wedding and you and I stood in the back.  You were almost asleep and I was rocking you and starting bouncing.  Every time I bounced you would laugh.  Like a full belly laugh.  It was the sweetest thing and made me so happy! 

We don't have a set schedule really.  You nurse anywhere between two and three hours throughout the day.  Night time is still random.  Sometimes you go five hours, sometimes three.  Very unpredictable. We try most nights to put you down asleep anywhere between 7-8ish, but most times you wake up soon after and we end up holding you on the couch sleeping until I go to bed.  You usually take a morning nap in the rock n play or your crib that lasts a half hour on the dot.  I usually hold you for a nap during Addilyn's nap and you often sleep two hours.  I love it.  The rest of naps or either in the wrap or car as we're usually doing something.  

Nursing has gotten easier, which is so nice.  You still spit up quite a bit, but don't seem to mind.  We just change your clothes a lot!  

You've found your hands and love to suck on your fist.  I hope you find your thumb soon because I'm sure it'd help soothe you.  You like a pacifier sometimes, but it never stays in very long.  I wonder if it's because of your tongue tie.  Hopefully you'll find your fingers or thumb soon! Maybe that'll help you sleep?? ;) 

You are just so happy.  The only time you cry is in the carseat which just started the last week, so I'm hoping it's a short phase.  You get so worked up and it takes awhile to calm you once I take you out of your seat.  I'm hoping you change your mind very soon as I hate to hear you cry! 

We've left you with Grandma and Grandpa a few times while we've gone to a quick dinner.  I've left you with daddy a few times too.  You've taken a bottle a handful of times, but drink it very very slowly! We'll have to keep practicing! 

I think you look a lot like your sister.  More like she does now than when she was a baby.  You have beautiful big eyes that I think will be brown.  They seem to change color some and I thought maybe they'd be hazel like mine, but are looking more brown these days!  You fit into some 0-3 month clothes, and are already outgrowing some 3 month things.  You have a long torso and short little legs, just like the rest of your family.  

You've started talking a ton and I love hearing all your noises!  You coo and grunt and love "talking." Often Addi will look at me all proud and say, "Mama, he said his first word!"  It's pretty cute. 

You love your sister and smile at her all day long!  She loves you so much and tells you that all the time.  I love watching the two of you and can't wait to see you love each other even more!  Everyone always comments how happy you are, and it's true.  We are so so lucky and you make us so happy! 

Happy 3 months sweet boy!

Love, 

your mom 

Seven

Dear Addi Jane - 

 I can't believe that another month flew by! So many new things have happened this month and I feel like every few days you are learning something new.  Besides the week that you were sick this month, you have been so happy.  You had a few days where you started making the "bababa and mamama" sounds and I got so excited.  But then you went back to your manly grunting sounds, which while they are funny, you sound like this little monster.  Your laugh is mostly this grunting kind of sound too, although occasionally we get this awesome belly laugh and it's the sweetest sound I've ever heard.  You started scrunching up your nose and almost snorting when you get excited.  You do this when someone comes over or when someone comes up to you.  It's really quite funny and really silly sounding.

Right after your six month appointment you got so sick.  One night you woke up two hours after going to bed and you were coughing a lot and really congested.  I went to bed myself and just layed you next to me.  An hour later you woke up coughing again and threw up a lot.  You were really wheezing and we brought you into the bathroom and turned on the shower, hoping the steam would clear things us.  We called the doctor and were started to get scared as you seemed to have a hard time breathing.  Thankfully you feel asleep soon after and I held you the rest of the night, but the next morning you were even worse.  We took you to the doctor and they told us you had bronchitis and rsv.  They gave you a nebulizer treatment and you hated it.  You cried the entire half hour we were there.  It was so sad and I felt terrible for you. 

The next few days were rough.  We had to do nebulizer treatments at home and you couldn't sleep laying down, which meant that your daddy and I held you all day and night.  I was too nervous to have you try to sleep on your own and knew that you were in pain.  You'd cry every time you coughed and your little voice was so hoarse.  We went to the doctor three more times and after a week you were mostly better.  It was definitely the toughest week we've had since you've been born and I was so happy when you were healthy.  It made me so thankful that you've been a healthy and happy baby the majority of your life! I sure hope we don't have to deal with that again for a very long time! 

 This month you started sitting up on your own, although you don't stay there long!  If I'm not behind you, you usually fall over.  You start scooting around a lot, moving in circles and backwards.  You get frustrated when you can't reach a toy and aren't happy too long on your stomach when you're by yourself.  

You are finally turning into a pretty good sleeper!  I thought I would never say that.  After being sick and being held all day and night you did not want to sleep in your crib.  It was hard for me, but we had to let you cry some more and thankfully after three nights you were able to put herself to sleep at bedtime without your pacifier.  After a week or so you were only waking up once to eat and now you're waking up around 4 and will usually go back to sleep until 6:30 or 7.  You often wake up once or twice at other times, but usually put yourself back to sleep in a few minutes.  You sleep in a sleep sack and sleep with your little lamb under your arm.  It is the cutest thing!  You take three naps a day and the first two usually last 45 - 70 minutes and the last one is about 30 minutes.  It took some time to get you back into napping in your crib too.  I haven't held you for naps in weeks because now you fall asleep better in your crib.  I love it but I do really miss holding you! 

This is the second month you've been eating solids and you are finally starting to really eat them and enjoy them.  Somedays you aren't two interested, but most days you eat some oatmeal and fruit in the morning and then some oatmeal and veggies at night.  I've made some different vegetables, like sweet potatoes and peas, and hope to make some more of your food.  We got this little feeder thing that you love, although I don't think much food actually gets in your mouth.  But it keeps you busy while we cook dinner or eat.  

This month you started giving me lots of kisses.  They are slobbery and wet and I love them!  Sometimes while you're sitting in my lap playing or reading books you look back and give me kisses and it makes me so happy.  You've given your daddy a few kisses here and there, but are still pretty stingy with them.  I hope you start giving out lots of hugs and kisses!

Valentine's day was on your seventh month birthday.  We made daddy cupcakes and brought them to his work.  You care way more about the sprinkles bottle than anything else.  It's nice that it distracts you while I bake.  Daddy brought you home a balloon for Valentine's day and you loved playing with it!

At the end of the month we decided to get passes to the YMCA.  There is an indoor pool there and we've already been there twice each week!  You LOVE swimming.  You get so excited watching other kids in the pool and love splashing in the water.  Daddy even took you by himself once and I think this will be a favorite thing for both of you to do together.  He loves spending time alone with you!

You continue to want to gnaw on everything.  Everything goes in your mouth, even other peoples arms, legs, whatever you can get a hold of.  This month you sat up in a grocery shopping cart, although it didn't last too long because you're so squirmy.  We started going to a baby music class on Mondays and you love it.  You don't always cooperate with what we're supposed to do, but you're always happy there.  You love the songs and love interacting with the other babies there.  I love how social you are and love that you like being around other people.  

One of my favorite things is our morning routine.  You wake up anytime between 6:30 and 7 and I usually bring you into bed next to me.  I nurse you and unlike other times during the day, you actually nurse for more than five minutes.  You are extra snuggly and will just look at me, talk and play with my face.  I love it.  Sometimes I turn the tv on and you'll watch a few minutes of cartoons.  I love our slow mornings together and am so thankful we don't have to rush and get going in the mornings. 

This month you are wearing mostly 9 month clothes and I think your legs are starting to catch up with your long torso.  I swear your hair grew overnight and you have this full fuzzy head of hair.  Your eyes are still as big as ever.  Thank and your cheeks are my favorite features of yours.  

I can't get over how fast you are growing.  There are still days that I look at you and can't believe you are my baby.  Sometimes I have a hard time believing that I get to be your mom forever.  Your daddy and I continue to wonder how'd we get so lucky to have such a cute and happy baby girl.   We still thank God for you constantly and I know we always will.  

Addilyn Jane - I love you more than I can ever tell you!
Love, 
your mom

Old and New

It feels a little strange to post about these two things in the same post.  Something so exciting and something really sad too.   

My grandpa passed away last weekend.  This last year Chris and I have gone through losing four grandparents and while they have all been really hard, they haven't all been quite as painful.  My grandpa was 93 years old.  He lived a healthy life, was married to my grandma for 62 years and lived in the same house in California that he bought for $10,000 when they got married.  He wasn't really sick or in pain, but for the last few years was ready, as he ability to do things independently continued to decrease. 

My mom had prayed that he would die before he got sick or started losing his memory and would go quickly and painlessly and that is what happened.  

The day I found out my grandpa had died I had just heard my baby's heartbeat. It was this strange realization that God gives new life and takes life too, as he brought my Grandpa home to heaven and was allowing me to experience the miracle of being pregnant. But something about that is kind of beautiful to me.  Celebrating the 93 years my Grandpa was here, and thinking about bringing this new life into the world.  

I am off to California tomorrow with my family to go to my Grandpa's funeral.  While for a sad reason, I am looking forward to loving on my Grandma, seeing my other relatives and celebrating and honoring my Grandpa's life.  

I hope you have a wonderful weekend. 

We're having a baby!

 It's been a rough start, but I am SO excited to be able to share with you . . .

I feel more excited to share this news with you than some I've been able to tell in person, as the friendships, support, and encouragement I've made through this blog during our infertility struggle has honestly been a bigger blessing then I could have ever imagined.  

Thank you for your encouragement and prayers as I've shared my heart through disappointments, struggles and hope for this baby that we've prayed for daily these last two years.  

There are still many times that I feel nervous about the future and feel like this isn't real, but I am believing that I will get to hold our sweet baby in July.  

I've been doing a lot of praying, thinking, and continually working on giving things over to God as we had some scary complications during the first two months.  God is teaching me over and over that He is the only one that is in control.  We're daily praying for God's continued protection of our little baby that I feel like I've loved for WAY longer than the last 12 weeks.

Thank you again for your prayers.  They have been so comforting and are appreciated more than you know.