April 2, 2013

Truths and Thoughts

shirt: old navy   dress: forever 21   flats: kohls

The other day Chris was talking about how he was wishing he could call his grandpa and tell him about his new business and our baby.  This last year and half we lost all four of our grandpas.  It's sad for me to think about how we didn't get to tell them we're pregnant and our daughter won't met her great grandpas. I also feel sad that my grandpa isn't here to pray for my baby daily, like he prayed for us to get pregnant.  


In the last week or so more people in my life have found my blog.  And my first response to that is to feel embarrassed and self conscious.   It was over a year before anyone besides my family and a few friends knew I had a blog.  And I'm thankful for that.  It was so nice to not second guess what I wrote or worry about what others may think.  I think this was especially true when it came to posting details about our infertility journey.  Writing things for people you don't see is much easier.  With that being said, I should probably get over it and not worry what others may think but that's easier said than done! 


I've had a hard time with the weight I've gained during this pregnancy and all the changes my body is going through.  Before getting pregnant I worked out every day and with being on bed rest for the most of the first trimester and then not being able to work out the same, it's been hard to feel like I have no control over what is happening with my body.  I'm afraid of gaining too much weight and fear not being able to get back in shape.  And then all these feelings make me feel selfish and ungrateful that I am pregnant and able to carry this baby. 

I always thought Chris would be an amazing dad.  When we first starting trying to get pregnant he was really excited, but I think the waiting we did and what we went through to get pregnant has made him more excited and more ready to be a dad.  The other day he told me that throughout the day he thinks about meeting our daughter and can't wait to hold her.  He asks me every time I'm laying down if she's moving and wants to feel her.  He prayers for her every night and it's so clear that he is already in love with our baby. I have no doubt in my mind that he is going to be the best dad and I'm so thankful for him.  

Photobucket


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54 comments:

  1. I sometimes wish that only "strangers" read my blog. It is a lot harder to be honest and share things in my head since my family reads my blog. But at the same time I'm glad they take an interest. I think it is so sweet that your husband is so excited for the baby and shares that w/ you. Sounds like he will be a great dad.

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  2. i know you've already heard this, but i really think pregnancy is the beginning of a life of sacrifice that God calls us to in motherhood. it's a looooooong road of losing things (like your young hot body, alone time, the freedom of choice and hours of sleep, etc.) but the reward you gain is so worth it!!! still, it's an undeniable struggle.

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  3. You look beautiful! And, I love that outfit!! I can't say that I had a hard time with my pregnancy body...I just love how pregnant women look (weird, I know). I do understand what you're saying, though. I was so clumsy during pregnancy, I dropped everything, all the time. It drove me crazy.

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  4. You look gorgeous and I don't see any weight gained except in that bump! You and Chris will both be great parents!

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  5. I can very much relate to this post (:

    I always feel weird when I find out real life friends and family are reading all my posts. And I would spot EVERY time I tried to workout during the first trimester. Even just going on a 30 minute walk. The doctor told me not to do anything. I want to try again sometime soon since I am farther along, but being inactive has made me feel chubby, unattractive and just gross. Anddddd then I feel bad because I know I should be so happy that the little one is still alive and kicking...I think it is normal for any woman to feel this way. We are naturally just more self conscious about our appearance. I think you look super cute!!! <3

    Kaitlyn

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  6. I love this outfit. even more, I love this post. your words are so kind, sweet, and real throughout this post.

    I know exactly what you mean about feeling weird or embarrassed when real life friends and family find out about your blog. I don't like to talk about it either and always feel awkward when they bring it up.

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  7. You look absolutely beautiful! You and Chris are going to be amazing parents! I understand about wanting your Grandparents to be there!! :(

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  8. This is such a beautiful post! Y'all are going to be such great parents.

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  9. Tears were running down my face as I read this. Seriously girl, don't worry about what others think. You write for you and your sweet family and your friends on your blog who love and support you and if someone doesn't it like it, they don't know what they're missing. I know all four of your grandpas are upstairs probably hanging out and drinking beers together while they watch over your little blessing. They may even be the reason you guys were able to get pregnant. You know the saying "When God closes one door, he opens another". Just a little food for thought :)

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  10. Love this outfit.

    And I totally "awwwwwed" when I read about Chris.

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  11. GAH! This post is too sweet!! Katie you look beautiful and wearing your heart on your sleeve like you do is a good look :) I love your blog and I'm sure anyone IRL that crosses it will love you even more after seeing all that you share and all whom you inspire. Eat healthy, rest, stretch, try yoga and walking. that's the best you can do for yourself and baby. I have no doubt that you'll bounce right back!!

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  12. Sweet, sweet Katie: you are SO beautiful and you are not gaining weight, you're growing a baby. You are a rock star, a special person and a MOMMY! Do not even worry about one ounce of that weight... it's just the baby's house and you look amazing. Two: you should wear that outfit like twice a week... I like it that much lol. I really do.

    . The other part made me cry, so here's a BIG hug for you and your husband and your BABY!

    Your blog is wonderful and I love reading it and you have nothing in the world to be embarrassed about. I love your outfits--especially, because you love Old Navy and I think 1/2 of my clothes are from there (and my little boy's clothes... and the ones that I give as gifts...) I may even be a partner in the company? I wish :)

    xoxoxo sweet bloggy neighbor!

    Daydreaming Realist

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  13. This is such an honest, beautiful post. You two are going to be the BEST parents! I worried about gaining too much weight when pregnant too, but don't you worry your pretty little self..it WILL come off. And you are absolutely all belly! You look amazing! I'm so sorry about your grandpas :( they are certainly watching over you and baby girl.

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  14. What a lovely post Katie! I have to confess I got a little Geary when you mentioned your grandpa praying for you guys to get pregnant everyday. There's just something beautiful about grandparents praying for their grand kids.

    And about that weight... I felt the same way. I really get it. I wasn't able to workout the same and felt awful. BUT, eventually I did get back into probably shape. :) So no worries there. And oh, you look beautiful!!! Love this dress on you.

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  15. Sometimes I wish my family and friends didn't know about my blog. I come from a really hard family situation but can't share about it because I don't want to hurt anyone. Because of that, most people tell me how amazing they think my parents/family are because we've adopted nine children and I just want to tell them "you don't know the half of it. We're NOT 'angels' or 'wonderful people'!"

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  16. A. Your bump is the cutest.
    B. I have no frame of reference for any of this BUT I do know that you and your baby girl are constantly in my prayers!

    love

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  17. You look amazing in that dress! I always love the way preggy ladies look in Maxis! Not only is he going to make an awesome dad, but you're going to be a wonderful mom!

    <3 Danielle
    Goodwilista.blogspot.com

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  18. You are the cutest preggo I've ever seen. You look great! :)

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  19. Can I be honest? :) As someone who knows you in real life AND has followed your blog for over a year, I truly treasure the transparency you share on your blog. I have often felt that I have gotten to know you more here than anywhere else, and I am thankful to know this side of you. Keep being YOU and trust that God is using you, challenging you, and working through you in the lives of others. The people who love you in real life will only love you more as they get to know the Katie who writes here. I am speaking from personal experience here :) Love you friend! Praying often for you, Chris, and your sweet girl.

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  20. I am pretty sure most of my readers are friends and family, so I don't really get worried about people I know reading my blog. But I probably would if I were talking about stuff like infertility. Your blog is awesome, though, so I wouldn't get too self-conscious!

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  21. What an honest post! I lost all but one of my grandparents wayyyyy before we were trying but I remember a similar feeling of being sad that they weren't there to see me on my wedding day.

    The other day one of my neighbors/friends happen to mention she saw my blog and I swear my heart stopped as if I was just told by the FBI that they discovered I was a spy or something!:) Not sure why the whole blog thing makes us feel more uncomfortable with people we know vs strangers but I totally get ya!

    Lastly you look beautiful mama and because you were in good shape pre-baby Vale you'll bounce right back!

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  22. I love these pictures of you - you always look so happy (and gorgeous by the way!).
    Love you!
    Kaylynn
    AmongTheYoung.com

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  23. I feel really self conscious too when I hear that others read my blog, especially when they're people I know. Here in Holland the blogging scene isn't that big and I kind of feel that people find it a bit strange.
    But I do LOVE connecting with so many other people I would normally never get to meet, like you!

    I think it's a great thing to share about your infertility struggles, when I was going through our infertility struggles I read so many blogs by people going through the same thing. It made me feel like I was not alone.

    Don't worry too much about your body, yes it's probably going to change a bit, but I promise you you'll be so proud of it for carrying your sweet girl for 9 months, the changes won't bother you that much!
    And breastfeeding works miracles for the weight loss, just sayin'! :)

    You look great like always!

    xo Maria

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  24. Oh Katie, you are so sweet. And you really are the most beautiful pregnant lady ever, I know how hard it is to feel your body changing in ways outside of your control and to feel good about it. But this, this is what your body was created for and the process really is lovely. You are lovely. You and Chris are wonderful parents and I am so excited for you!

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  25. I think it's easier to write about things when people you don't see are reading, as well.

    And you look fantastic, Katie. Don't worry about gaining weight..that's what you're supposed to do :-) It is hard because your body is going through SO much. Just know that you're adorable.

    I think that your Grandpas have already met baby girl..they are both looking our for you!

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  26. First, I LOVE the way you tied that shirt over that dress...so so cute! Second, I'm sure everyone in your family and all of your friends will LOVE your blog as much as we do :) And third...you will get back into shape, of course you will, and you & Chris will both be amazing parents...I don't even know you in real life and I can just tell :)

    Annie
    The Other Side of Gray

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  27. You look great girl! Love that outfit!

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  28. girl.

    i love your honesty in this blog. and i can definitely relate. i was an avid runner before unexpectedly getting pregnant and when you go from pounding out the miles to getting out of breathe from climbing your steps... well it's hard to feel positive/upbeat/loving yourself during this pregnancy woohoo! and it is difficult but just do your best to keep a couple things in mind (1) unless you are going overboard which clearly you are NOT, your body will gain the weight it NEEDS to gain to sustain a healthy pregnancy and a beautiful baby girl, it's a need, it's not you becoming lazy or sloppy or off your a-game. (2) i promise you the weight will come off, i was almost paranoid about this when i was pregnant and everyone told me it would come off... and it does. our culture places so much emphasis on making moms seem like they are unsexy or once you are a mom you are just automatically 10 lbs overweight and thrown out to the birds. it's not true. yes your body changes in some ways that can't be helped and it might not be teh same, but you will still be able to rock a mean bikini. (3) do your best to enjoy it, although i am loving working out again and getting ready to lace up my running shoes again this summer, the kicks in your belly are very short lived... :)

    i didn't mean to write a book, i just love your blog and just wanted to hopefully give you some encouragement.
    and i will be doing a 6 month postpartum body update in the next couple of days, so if you want all the nitty gritty details, feel free to stop by!

    bria
    wigglelife.blogspot.com

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  29. I am right there with you on the pregnancy weight gain thing (although I think you look absolutely fabulous right now! I wish I looked that good...I feel like an elephant! Haha). It is hard, because I feel guilty for complaining about my weight gain. Luke keeps telling me, "you're pregnant. You're SUPPOSED to gain weight." But I still struggle with it for some reason, because I know I'm gaining more than I should. I just have to keep remembering that she'll be here in about 3.5 months, and then I can focus on eating better and working out a few weeks after that. It is a daily struggle not to obsess over it right now, though!

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  30. I have the same insecurities about ganing weight and not being able to get back in shape. It's only natural to feel that way. I was able to lose all my weight and more with my first baby thanks to breast feeding. Hoping it works again the second time around. You look gorgeous. :)

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  31. I love this outfit but more than that, you look gorgeous - do not worry about gaining weight. I know it's probably difficult and worrisome to think about trying to lose the weight after giving birth, but you're growing a beautiful baby girl so it'll be worth the work afterwards. I think you look great!

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  32. Hi Katie! Just hopping around today and wanted to let you know that I'm hosting a Stella and Dot jewelry giveaway on Friday! It's my first one but wanted to give you the heads up. Hope you'll stop by then!

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  33. Such a great post! I love your stories and I also feel self-conscious when friends or family find my blog! Also, your dress is gorgeous and you look radiant.

    -Vogue&Heels
    vogueandheels.com

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  34. That dress looks beautiful on you, Katie! Barely anyone in my family or friends know about my blog. I also feel like I'd have to start censoring myself more if people I know begin reading it.

    -Sharon
    The Tiny Heart

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  35. don't fret to much about the weight ( I know it is hard!) you'll lose it in no time :) an easy 25 lb without even trying!

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  36. Ahhhhh!!!! I haven't been on your blog in awhile, so I'm just finding out that you're pregnant!!!!!!!!!! SO HAPPY FOR YOU!!!!!!!! Seriously, seeing your cute bump just made my day. I know the weight gain is tough. It really is. Just don't make the same mistake as Kim Kardashian by dressing your rear instead of your bump :). Kidding aside, you look amazing and cute and happy and full of joy. I mean, FULL OF JOY!!!!! Woo hoo!!! I'm excited to be along on your pregnancy/motherhood journey. Thanks for sharing it with us!!

    Shelly

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  37. You are both going to be absolutely fantastic parents. You look so pretty in that dress! Don't worry about the weight, I think you look gorgeous. :)

    xo, Yi-chia
    Always Maylee

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  38. Love your dress, you look really pretty!

    I don't have that many family that read my except my sister but i know what you mean. I'm not ashamed of my blog but i wouldn't tell them i have one. It's just a little space that belongs to me.

    x Audrey
    fashionhightea.blogspot.com

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  39. You are adorable pregnant. It looks so good on you!
    I wish I'd had you to dress me when I had a bump. You have some of the cutest things showcasing your little peanut.
    With all the working out you did prior to getting pregnant you should shed it pretty easily. Just be sure to find some "you" time and snag a quick workout. The first few months it's so easy to get caught up in your bundle of joy.
    Cheers to a fabulous Wednesday!

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  40. I love that maxi on you! So pretty. And it's funny you mentioned others finding your blog - I try to keep mine REALLY private and personal so only my family and few close friends know. My dad posted a link on Facebook to it this morning and I about had a panic attack. I called him and asked him to take it down and now I'm all paranoid that one of my friends saw it. So ridiculous! I'm sure whoever found your blog loves it :)

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  41. I feel the same way about people reading my blog! Some days I wish it was private so no one could read it but other days I really enjoy all the comments and the friendships I have made through blogging.

    Yes, the body changes are hard to deal with. It will get harder to once your beautiful baby arrives and you no longer have the cute bump. It does get better though and it is all SO worth it.

    Beautiful picture of you and your husband! Sounds like he will be a wonderful father.

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  42. I can only imagine how it feels to be out of control of all the changes happening! You were such an avid runner before, I'm sure it's hard!

    You look amazing :-)

    Carly
    www.lipglossandcrayons.com

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  43. First of all, your blog is GREAT and you should be proud about others finding out about it. It is COMPLETELY normal to worry about the weight gain...I think every woman who gets pregnant worries about that! It will come off and I think you look gorg!

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  44. You should be proud of your blog! knwo what you mean about friends reading it, it's just odd! Before mine was just family and now a few people have found it. I try and just be me and then I have nothing to worry about.
    I know what you mean about weight gain, it's hard. BUT worth it. That's what I keep telling myself! PS. You look amazing!!

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  45. I don't think anyone I actually know reads my blog and I'm okay with that. I just type for myself and don't worry about what others think. Your right, it's hard to do but I figure it's the whole point in having a blog in the first place.

    I LOVE your outfit. How smart to tie that shirt up over the dress. Your so adorable pregnant. I wouldn't worry about the weight too much. I'm sure you will be back in shape no time. It just takes a little dedication (that I didn't have)!!!

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  46. Love this post. Your vulnerability is real and admirable. I think you look amazing, and although easier said than done, I wouldn't worry about what others think. Those who love your blog will stay no matter what!
    Adrienne

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  47. First of all, I'm so sorry that you both lost your grandparents. I lost my grandmother at a really early age and it was difficult. I also understand the feelings about not having control over what happens to your body when you are pregnant. I think every woman does! I was just going to say that you look great! Congrats on your baby. I know you are so excited.

    Amy

    Fashion and Beauty Finds

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  48. 1. Definitely teared up reading about your husbands role during your pregnancy. This has to be such an exciting time for both of you

    2. Was it weird when your family found out about your blog? Did you tell them or did they just come across it? No one in my family knows about mine and its just awkward because I know eventually one way or another it will come out

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  49. Such a sweet post!!! I am not a mom yet, but I heard that you fall in love all over again with your husband after you see them with your children. How exciting for you two :) And um... LOVE the outfit!! Great combo. I am on the hunt for more florals and now I can pair it with my chambray ;)

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  50. Not many people here know or read my blog .. I kind of dont publicise it either. Unless someone follows me on IG. I live in a really small town, everyone gossips and such . I don't even know if my husband reads it!
    I think you two will be just fine and I pray for a healthy baby girl!

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  51. Not many people read my blog but I feel like most of the people who do read it are people who know me. It makes me a bit careful about what I write and how specific I am in my posts - which sometimes is frustrating. Congratulations on your pregnancy! This is truly a beautiful time in your life :)

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