skirt and shirt: target shoes: payless
Sometimes I feel silly posting outfit pics when I write about serious topics.
But hey, I still get dressed those days so why not?
I hesitate to write about this again, as I feel as though I could sound like a broken record.
But I realize that most people deal with the same problem for a long time.
That, unfortunately, is just life.
This problem is one that I truly thought we wouldn't have to deal with ever. Once we started this journey through infertility, I thought we wouldn't have to deal with it long.
Last week Chris and I found out that we are not pregnant, again.
The last treatment, even with the highest success rate didn't work.
By far, I had the most invested in this last round.
Physically, emotionally, and mentally I spent all of June doing whatever I could to make this work.
I felt like that was my whole life for a month and consumed my thoughts all day.
It's hard to not feel like I wasted a month of my summer.
I'm quickly reminded again that this is so far out of my control.
Even out of the doctor's control.
And that is frustrating.
Frustrating to know that there nothing I can physically do, to get me pregnant.
All I can do is pray that God would grant me the desire to have my own baby someday.
A good friend of mine told me that God placed a strong desire in my heart to be a mother and that He will fulfill it someday.
Throughout the month of June, on a daily basis my emotions would go from feeling hopeful and excited about the future, to feeling disappointed, sad and hopeless about being a mom someday.
Lately it's hard to not spend most of the day feeling the later.
Lately it's hard to not spend most of the day feeling the later.
I'm getting tired, worn down and scared as I am waiting for my someday.
But I am thankful that even though this is completely out of my control, that I can trust in a God who knows my heart, my desires and my future.
For I know the plans I have for you,” declares the Lord, “plans to prosper you and not to harm you, plans to give you hope and a future."
Jeremiah 29: 11
