about this blog

I know that posts without pictures aren't very appealing, but then I feel like I have to throw something in there that doesn't make sense and doesn't fit, so here I am with a pictureless post and some honest random thoughts about my feelings towards blogging.  
There are still people in my real life that do not know I have a blog.  And I am okay with that as I still am a little embarrassed about it. 
I often feel like four out of five of my outfits are boring and people probably don't care to see them. Especially with the same background and less than quality photos.  It does however motivate me to get dressed and for that I like it. 
While we were going through our infertility struggles and I started sharing about it on my blog, I felt like my blog had more of a purpose.  That God was using me to encourage others going through the same thing, that my faith could be a testament to others.  I struggle a little bit with the purpose of my blog now.  I am thankful that I can document Addilyn's life through stories and pictures, but sometimes I wonder if I'm using my blog as any kind of purposeful place. 
I felt much more validated in my outfit posts, heartfelt posts, really any kind of post when I got more comments.  It seems like people aren't commenting on blogs as much anymore or maybe it's just mine? I used to be able to spend a lot more time reading other blogs and commenting, which I know is part of it. But sometimes I feel like I'm writing to just a handful of faithful readers (who I dearly love). 
I mentioned this before but I did a lot of sponsored posts in December.  It's funny that the opportunities I get seem to go in phases and I wish they were more spread out.  I honestly have a hard time saying no to the chance to make money and get free things, but don't want my blog to be filled with boring and shallow things so I try to only say yes to things that fit in my blog and things I would really use.   
I also used to be so good at responding to emails and comments quickly and the reality is that I do not have time to do that now.  I hope some day I do again, but I feel sad and kind of guilty that I don't have time because I seriously and genuinely appreciate every comment and email.  If only my thoughts and responses would just be read and by my computer and sent back to you without having to type them out.  Can someone invent that please?
I still struggle and probably always will with comparing myself to others.  I see other bloggers who started the same time I did and the growth of their blogs, the quality of their pictures and outfits and all that and some days I desire for that growth for my blog and other days I feel like it's too much work.  
There are a good handful of girls I've met through blogging that many times a week I wish lived by me.  I wish I could be friends with them in real life and see them face to face.  I am truly thankful for the relationships I've made through this blog.