By 9 o'clock I was totally maxed out in terms of patience and I knew I needed a redo already. It was Chris' birthday. I wanted to make cupcakes and have Addi finish this little book I wanted to give to Chris. Isaac was napping, we got the cupcakes part baked, saving the frosting for later, and I was trying to get Addi to answer some questions to write in this book. She was making no sense (I mean she is only two - my first mistake), being uncooperative and growling at me and gritting her teeth. All while I asked a million times if she had to go pee as we're in the thick of potty training. Isaac woke up after a very short nap and I tried to continue our task. Very unsuccessfully.
Half hour later and she'd had a few time outs for not listening. I not quickly enough realized my impatience was rubbing off on her and back and forth it went. 10:30 and I felt like our day was already discouraging and a disaster.
I think all too often I set up my agenda for the day. Getting a workout video in, certain things cleaned, an activity accomplished. While there's nothing wrong with a plan or schedule I think it's easy for me to set out our day unrealistically, especially now with two kids.
Going with the flow is at the bottom of my personality traits and I'd like to move it up a little at least. I'll never be a care free mom and I'm totally ok with it. I have many other strengths and that isn't one. But I'd love if it wasn't such a weakness.
I want to start my day with an idea of what I'd like it to look like but to be okay when it doesn't go as planned. To let go of expectations and adjust my ideal day. Change my plans and move on. To not let a rough morning ruin my day and to start over how ever many times we need.
And then some days knowing it's just a bad day. And that may look like throwing in the towel. Putting a diaper on "potty trained" two year old and watching the iPad in bed for too long. Knowing that tomorrow is a new day and we'll try for a better one.