Our night away

This last weekend Chris and I went away for a night to celebrate our ten year anniversary.  It's funny because when I was pregnant we talked about going on a big trip for our ten year anniversary, like Mexico or something like that.  Soon after Addilyn was born I think Chris realized that wouldn't happen so it got demoted to maybe a long weekend in Florida.  Well, that soon got changed to one night away.  Baby steps right?

We left around 1 on Saturday and drove to a little town about 45 minutes away in Wisconsin.  We love going there, but haven't been since I was pregnant.  While I have left Addilyn for one night with Chris, this was our first night away together.  Honestly I was nervous about it.  I was nervous she'd wake up in the middle of the night and freak out that I wasn't there or worried she'd be upset in the morning when we weren't there.  But I knew that my sister in law could totally handle it and Addi loves her!  

It was just so wonderful to be together.  To have 24 hours of uninterrupted time.  Not worrying about getting home in time after dinner and being able to spend time in the morning just sitting in bed together, drinking coffee and watching something other than Mickey Mouse Club.  So many talks about Chris' job, future plans for babies, relationships, our marriage and just enjoying each other.  

We walked around the cute little town, went to a wine tasting, ate some delicious cheese and crackers, then went to an early dinner.  We went in the hot tub at the pool, walked around the town a little more and got frozen yogurt.  The next morning we sadly didn't sleep in passed 6:30 but loved having a slow morning together.  We headed to breakfast and then just sat on our balcony for another hour or so before going home.  

It was just so nice.  I think it's very easy for me to get wrapped up in my identity as a mom.  To spend all my days with Addilyn and to feel like she consumes the majority of my days and my life.  Which I love and is great, but what's not so great is sometimes I forget how much I love spending time with just Chris.  That I am his wife before I was Addilyn's mom and how important it is to just have fun together.  We're lucky enough that we get to go on dates at home, but having this much time alone together was extra wonderful.  A great reminder of why we married each other and how much we love being together.  

Addilyn did great at home, and I am so thankful that we went!  It was a great way to celebrate ten years together!

On ten years

   

This week Chris and I celebrate our ten year anniversary.  Which makes 15 years being together, half of my life.  Part of me feels like there is no way it's been ten years, but most of the time I can't even remember not being married.  
                                                                                                                  the summer we started dating 
A lot of time I think about how I can't believe we got married so young.  I was 20, Chris was 23.  I had just finished my second year of college, and Chris still had another year and half left as well.  We were practically babies.  I've heard Chris tell a friend "I practically raised her myself."  Jokes aside, I definitely did my growing up into adulthood as a wife, which came with it's challenges.  But also came with a lot of blessings too.  We went through a lot of growing up and learning about each other and ourselves the first years of marriage, that we had to go through a lot of the harder communication things right from the start.  Not to say we didn't have plenty of things to work through the whole ten years, but had to go through a lot of that together at the beginning.  
I think I could write about a handful of advice that I've learned these ten years.  That I can't expect Chris to know how I feel without telling him exactly how I feel.  That you need to say what you mean and deal with the consequences if you're not honest about how you feel about something.  That going through a really hard thing, like infertility will either draw you closer or farther apart, and I'm so thankful we worked hard to draw us closer.  That things are not going to be even all the time and playing the game "who works harder than who" will never be helpful.  And that sometimes a date night is needed to remind you that you still really love each other and have fun together.  
But I think the best piece of advice that as helped us the most over the ten years is that we are on the same team.  During our premarriage counseling we had to say to each other multiple times "you are not my enemy."  This has helped through fight after fight, disagreement after disagreement.  There are times I feel so far into an argument where I am mad or hurt and then I remind myself that we are in this together.  We are on the same team.  We may disagree, we may have made mistakes and may still have lots to sort through and talk about.  BUT we have the same goal that we want to get on the same page and be in this together.  
There are times I'm mad about things Chris forgets or times I feel like he should know or anticipate how a situation or conversation would make me feel.  If I stop and remind myself that he isn't doing these things to make me mad, and that he has intentions to make our marriage better and that he loves me, it helps soften my feelings.  While it doesn't solve the problem it changes my approach.  
When Addilyn was born it was a tough transition for us.  I'm not sure if it's because we had 8 years with just us, or that it was just hard.  There were multiple times Chris would say to me "I'm on your side."  That simple reminder made a huge difference.  We didn't have to be happy with the argument or necessarily the place our marriage was in that day or that week, but it helped remind me that our goal is the same.  To be on the same team, in this together.  
Chris Vale.  Thank you for "raising me yourself."  For loving me more than anyone else.  For constantly telling me I'm beautiful and how much you love me.  For being easy going, silly and smiling a lot.  For providing for our family and being an amazing dad to Addilyn.  And for being on my team.  Happy Anniversary.  
Ten years in and many, many more to go.

Nine Years

Nine years ago I walked down the aisle to marry you.  It's hard to believe we've been together for over 13 years.  It's funny to think about how much we've changed over the many years and how far our relationship has grown.  My 14 year old self did not think we'd end up married, even though you thought otherwise. I'm sure thankful you didn't give up on pursuing me way back then.  

This last year has definitely been the year of the most change as we added Addilyn to our family.  We've had to work more on our marriage, as it hasn't been easy like it's been the last many years.  But I am so thankful for you.  So thankful for a husband that is willing to spend time working on our marriage.  To spend time talking, listening and praying together.  And who tells me how much he loves me over and over and over again. 

But even though it's been a harder year because we've had to adjust to less time together, it's also been such a rewarding year too. It's been such a joy to watch you become a dad.  To see how much you love Addilyn and to jump in as your new role.  And to do it with such tenderness and joy.  We both are so lucky!

What a blessing it has been to be your wife.  To go through hard things like suriving financially while we were both in college, to finding jobs, greiving over the lose of our grandparents, or through our years of infertility. And then to experiences joys together like vacations, success in your careers and the most exciting, becoming a family of three.  

I'm happy to have you through whatever hard things we'll face and so thankful to experience the many more blessings God has for us in the future.  You are my favorite person in the world Christopher Jason Vale and I'm so thankful God gave me you. 

Happy Anniversary!

Eight Years

shirt: target clearance ($4)   skirt: target    bracelet: made by me

(It's a lucky coincidence I'm wearing a shirt that says love on it for today's post!)
Today Chris and I celebrate our eight year anniversary.  Over 13 years of being together.  Some days I feel like I can't believe it's been eight years and then others I can't imagine not being married.    I don't too often write whole posts about Chris and am feeling slightly guilty that when I do they often include his annoying habits.  But the truth is I fully believe that I am one of the luckiest woman in the world to be blessed with such an amazing husband.   One of my favorite things about Chris is that I never doubt that he loves me.  He not only tells me all the time, but I know it's so clear to others that he loves me.  There's been so many times I've met someone he worked with or a friend who tells me right away how much Chris loves and talks about me.   Another one of my favorite things is Chris' ability to communicate.   I appreciate that he always wants work out any issues we have and talk about anything important to me, little or big.  He's always been able to communicate his feelings, which means he's shared tears with me during our struggles, as well as tears during our joys too.   We have both changed quite a bit since we've been married and I am so proud of the man that he has become.  I couldn't be more excited to watch him become a dad in two months.  I'm so thankful for the last eight years of marriage that we've had to work on our relationship with just the two of us, and am beyond excited and ready for this next phase of life together!