Weeks 15 & 16

I'm actually 17 weeks this week, but keeping up by the week is not happening, so catch up it is!  I've been feeling a little better the last two weeks.  Maybe throwing up a few times a week, as oppose to multiple times a day.  I still feel pretty tired and am waiting for that second trimester energy to come! In the mornings I often feel like I'm going to be good for the day, then come Addilyn's nap time and I feel exhausted.  I definitely can't sleep on my stomach any more, so getting comfortable at night is a challenge.  I wake up at least a few times to go to the bathroom and often feel nauseous when I wake up so it takes a little while to fall back to sleep. 
My belly is definitely growing and I shouldn't be surprised, as everyone says it, but it's crazy how much faster I'm showing than with Addilyn.  It's funny because depending on what I'm wearing I feel like while I look pregnant no matter what, the size of my belly seems to differ a lot.  It's definitely bigger by the end of the day too. 
I already feel like my belly is so high.  Up until the day she was born my belly was high and I felt like it was overtaking my ribs and chest.  I never "dropped" and I feel like I'm going to be in the same boat this time.  It scares me a little that I already feel like I don't have a ton of space between my boobs and belly!  
I haven't felt any kicks yet, and I'm feeling anxious to.  I felt Addilyn move around at 16 weeks, and while not consistently even Chris could feel it that early.  So while I know it's normal to not feel your baby this early, I thought I would by now and am anxious for it to happen!
I've been making plans for the baby's room, but they are mostly all still in my head. We have a lot of moving around and organizing to do to make room for stuff from upstairs and into the basement before we can even think about making it a nursery.  I have a good idea of what I want it to look like, boy or girl, but finding out what we're having will make it way more exciting.  My 20 week ultrasound is October 15th and I can't wait.  
I'm sure I could say this every time, but I still have many days where I just can't believe that I am pregnant.  I feel so so thankful for this baby, and don't ever want to forget what a miracle it is! 

A Surreal Moment

I'm not quite sure what happened, since I look way more pregnant in week 14.  I'm guessing it's a combination of how I'm standing, plus the fact that both of these were in the morning and I look at least twice as pregnant by the evening.

I had a very surreal moment in church this last week.  
There were so many times over the last two years when I would stand during worship and see pregnant woman and couples with babies and just long for that to be me.  There was this one woman who I remember seeing every week, and I just watched her belly grow and then her baby grow.  I would dream of the day when that would be Chris and I in church. 
I remember clearly a few weeks after our early miscarriage in August, we sang the song "Blessed be your name" which is one of my favorites.  But one that I hadn't truly taken to heart until that point.  One of the lines is: 
"You give and take away, You give and take away.  My heart will choose to say.  Lord blessed be your name."  
I was pregnant with a baby I thought I would have and then I wasn't.  But I was working on, with everything in my heart, to still say "Blessed be your name."  I couldn't sing much of that song, as I was fighting the tears from streaming down.  
On Sunday we sang that same song.  And I fought back tears again.  But not out of pain, but of joy.    "Blessed be your name. When the suns shining down on me.   When the world's all as it should be. Blessed be your name."  
I looked down at my little belly, with my baby growing.  Our baby.  Here I was standing in church praising God and blessing his name for this miracle and time of joy in our life.  

And the fact that I get to sign that sweet letter your mom?
God is so good.  Blessed be His name.