I'm not quite sure what happened, since I look way more pregnant in
week 14. I'm guessing it's a combination of how I'm standing, plus the fact that both of these were in the morning and I look at least twice as pregnant by the evening.
I had a very surreal moment in church this last week.
There were so many times over the last two years when I would stand during worship and see pregnant woman and couples with babies and just long for that to be me. There was this one woman who I remember seeing every week, and I just watched her belly grow and then her baby grow. I would dream of the day when that would be Chris and I in church.
I remember clearly a few weeks after our early miscarriage in August, we sang the song "Blessed be your name" which is one of my favorites. But one that I hadn't truly taken to heart until that point. One of the lines is:
"You give and take away, You give and take away.
My heart will choose to say. Lord blessed be your name."
I was pregnant with a baby I thought I would have and then I wasn't. But I was working on, with everything in my heart, to still say "Blessed be your name." I couldn't sing much of that song, as I was fighting the tears from streaming down.
On Sunday we sang that same song. And I fought back tears again. But not out of pain, but of joy.
"Blessed be your name. When the suns shining down on me.
When the world's all as it should be. Blessed be your name."
I looked down at my little belly, with my baby growing. Our baby. Here I was standing in church praising God and blessing his name for this miracle and time of joy in our life.
And the fact that I get to sign that sweet letter your mom?
God is so good.
Blessed be His name.
