If you thought booties were bad

dress: c/o sheinside   boots: target

I've tried to avoid typing or writing the word bootie too often.  It just doesn't feel right to say, and I feel like unless I'm referring to baby shoes, I shouldn't be using it.  But somehow it's slowly slipped into my vocabulary as my love for them has increased over the year.  These trusty $8 booties from Target have certainly gotten their share of wear this last year.  

A few weeks ago a friend used the word shooties instead and I had to ask her twice what she was saying.  I had never heard that one before, but my sister than tagged me in someone's instagram post using it too.  I think I'll stick with booties if I have to pick one. 

Side note.  I tried for at least 10 minutes to use photoshop to get rid of the splashed mud on my garage door.  That is ten minutes I'll never get back and could have probably cleaned at least half of it during that time.  Lesson learned.  

(I love this new dress from sheinside and have had a few people ask me about their sizing.  I always check the measurements in the description as each item seems to vary in what size I get.)

I Couldn't live without . . . . Aunt Lo

 

top & shoes: target    pants: jcpenney

Last week Chris and I got to go out on a date thanks to my wonderful sister in law.  We met some friends at Portillos for a quick dinner, then Chris and I headed to a movie.  We never ever go to movies, which was clear when we arrived right on time and the show was sold out.  As was every other movie but Cinderella.  No thank you.  I had no idea that movie theatres sold out.  We ended up meeting back up with our friends and went to a winery, had wine, cheese and delicious dessert.  Way more fun than a movie.  And we didn't get home till 10:30.  Yes, we should be embarrassed but instead we felt incredibly wild and cool.  

Because Addilyn has two Aunt Laurens, my sister in law is Aunt Lo and for the longest time Addi said it as one word and it was the cutest thing ever.  Lauren is our go to babysitter and I don't know what we would do without her.  She is the best and we love her.  We're so grateful she lives so close and is such a wonderful aunt! 

Now if only she would clean the bottom of our garage because I am well aware that looks terrible in these pictures.  

What can you not live without this week? Link up below!

Waiting for baby number 2

As we get closer to Addilyn turning two, I'm struggling more with the want for another baby, which brings on a whole realm of emotions.  For the most part I've been able to push them aside and feel completely content with where we are now, but as we get closer to Addilyn turning two I find myself thinking about it more often.  We've said for a long time that once she's two we'll talk seriously about a plan, whether that be fertility treatments or adoption and to be honest both scare me.  
There's been a handful of times this last month that I've thought of our lost babies through our fertility treatments.  I know there are so many women who have miscarriages and this is a common thing, but it is still hard and sad.  I know we have four babies in heaven that we never got to meet.  The idea of going through fertility treatments, knowing there are high possibilities to endure more losses is really hard.  There is so much that is not black and white when it comes to what I feel like are the best choices regarding fertility treatments and I struggle with this a lot.  I know without a doubt that God gave us Addilyn through IVF and it was His perfect plan.  But there are times I think about the fact that we had to lose four embryos in order to get Addilyn and I don't want to do that again.  We agonized over decisions, like how many eggs to fertilize because we didn't want a lot left over but didn't want to end up without any quality ones to use.  I know that ultimately God was in control of every decision we made along the way, but they were decisions that took up a lot of time, energy and prayer.  This unappealing part of the fertility treatments is almost as big as the physical and financial toll, which are both huge reasons I'm afraid to do it again.  
I think there was a part of me that thought I was going to be one of those women that go through fertility treatments and then gets pregnant easily on their own after having a baby.  Chris and I have never done anything to prevent getting pregnant since Addilyn has been born, and while I shouldn't be surprised, I'm disappointed I haven't been one of those woman.  I still have hope that it could happen, but the longer it goes the less I feel like that's a possibility.  
Today I saw two different pregnancy announcements (for baby number two) and I cried.  The day before I got my period and thought there was a chance, although so small, that I may be pregnant this month.  I felt sad and disappointed.  I think I've felt that since we already have a baby, I shouldn't be sad about not having another one.  Like it's greedy and unappreciative of what we do have.  But I think that there is a line between acknowledge your desires, letting yourself be sad, and to be content where you are.  
For a long time I felt like infertility defined who I was.  It was something that was on my mind all the time and I had to work hard to not let it take over my life.  I know that it is so different now that we have Addilyn, but it's a desire to have a baby nonetheless and I'm afraid to go through all those feelings again.  The jealousy of other pregnancies, disappointment of another month not being pregnant, and then more so the unknown and uncertainty of infertility or adoption.  
I remind myself that God taught me so much through our infertility until we got pregnant with Addilyn.  I would be a completely different person had I not gone through those struggles.  And I know whatever our journey looks like to expanding our family, God is going to do the same.  That it's okay to be sad and okay to acknowledge the desire for another baby.  But to continue to pursue contentment and be thankful for this exact place where God has us.  

Spring Tunic and Tornados

tunic: jane,com    leggings & shoes: target

This tunic is my favorite clothing item I've purchased from Jane.  It's always a gamble ordering clothes online from those sites, as I feel like the sizes can be so off, usually running extra small for me.  But this one is perfect for Spring, which the weather is finally starting to warm up.  This week every day says at least 60 degrees, which makes me happy!  

We had huge storms on Thursday, and while I love the rain and thunder, I could do without the tornado warnings.  Twenty minutes after a struggle to get Addilyn to sleep, tornado sirens went off and we had to wake her up to bring her downstairs.  She was quite confused and kept saying "no want under the stairs."  Thankfully we only sat under the basement stairs for less than five minutes, until the sirens turned off.  Only an hour or so away from us a tornado hit and caused some pretty serious damage.  So thankful they missed us, and I hope we don't have much of that again this Spring!

Hope you all had a wonderful weekend!

High Five for Friday

“I participated in an Influencer Activation on behalf of Influence Central for Dove. I received a product sample and promotional item to thank me for my participation.”
1.  It's been far too long since a High Five for Friday post.  Sometimes I forget that I own pants that aren't skinny jeans.  Also I apparently lied when I said I was posting my last snow on the ground picture.  Seriously, spring??

2. We had a rough few days over here and Tuesday morning my best friend and her daughter dropped by early morning with coffee and donuts.  I felt loved and thankful for these girls.  

3.  I've spent way too long looking for cute boyfriend jeans online.  I want a pair that's distressed, but not completely destroyed like a lot of ones I've seen.  I like the look of these two pairs from Simons. Now if only I could try them on without buying them first! 

4.  I'm two weeks into the 21 Day Fix Extreme and am really enjoying it.  All but Saturday, I've done the workout videos during Addilyn's nap, which means I don't get to shower until many hours later or the next morning.  Next week, I get to try out Dove Advanced Care Deodorant and I'm excited because I find myself putting on deodorant many times a day, and would love to do it once and not worry about how I smell!  So a deodorant that provides 48 hour odor protection sounds great.  (Does that mean it gives me permission to not shower for at least two days?)  Lucky you, I get to share my experience in the next two weeks.  
5.  I'm excited for a weekend with warmer weather, a date night and hopefully all three of us staying healthy! Hope you have a wonderful weekend!