dress: kohls ($3 clearance) bracelet: made by me boots: kohls (on sale!)
After each failed fertility treatment we've had, I've learned something new from it.
One of the things I'm learning is that I want to approach our next attempt differently.
This time I want to not hold on to all the "what ifs" and try to enjoy the other things in my life.
At the beginning of summer I tried on a pair of bright yellow pants at the Gap. They were $10 but I didn't buy them because they were a little tight and I was convinced I'd be pregnant soon so they wouldn't fit for long.
I didn't sign up for a handful of races this summer and fall that I had wanted to do, because I thought I'd be pregnant.
While these things are little, not only do I grieve a failed cycle ,
but also the things I feel like I missed out on. Even if they are a $10 pair of pants.
(which embarrassingly I've thought about many times)
While some things have to be put on hold while we go through a cycle, some things don't.
When some friends at school asked if I wanted to sign up for a gym membership so we could take different classes together, my first response was going to be no.
What a waste of money if I only do it for one or two months and then have to cancel?
Then I thought about it and signed up.
I don't want to put everything on hold as we sit and wait for this part of our life to happen.
Worse case scenario, I lose a little money on a month's membership, don't get to participate in a race I paid for, or only get to wear a pair of pants a few times.
It's so easy to let this consume every aspect of my life and I don't want it to anymore.
So today I'm working on letting go of planning all aspects of my life and taking advantage of what I can enjoy now.
Like being able to wear my fringe boots and $3 clearance dress.