. . . for Lauren and Lauren: On turning 31

November 1, 2015

On turning 31


I feel like the older I get, the wiser I should become.  The more profound things I should have to say about another birthday.  Yet, I don't think I have much to say about turning 31 tomorrow.  

I read a chapter in Jen Hatmaker's book, For the Love, a few times now and she wrote about turning 40.  On how you stop caring about what other people think, and how you become more confident in your own skin.  I don't want to wait until I'm 40 for that!  But yet, struggle with that now.  I want to stop worrying about what I look like, how bad the bags under my eyes will be after no sleep for over a year come March.  I want to be confident that I'm exactly who I should be, and not be afraid of what other people may think.  To know that I have different personality traits and handle things differently and that it absolutely okay.  

So maybe this year that's my thing.  To be more comfortable and confident in who I am.  To know that God made me more introverted.  He made me with homebody tendencies, yet with a high need to feel loved and pursued.  And to be okay with those things, and know what I need to be energized and to feel loved.  To not feel bad about saying no to things and guarding my time at home with Chris or by myself, and not feel lame for choosing a movie on the couch over going out with friends.  Or feel like a loser because I like to get in bed before ten every night.  To not let a rude comment from a stranger have any affect on my day.  To know that I was a really great teacher and those skills aren't lost on staying home with Addilyn.  

That if anything I'll be the mom bordering on the hovering side, but that I struggle to feed my daughter well rounded healthy meals.  I struggle letting Addilyn be unhappy with something, but I know I need to and it's hard for me.  That I love her more than anything, but have never wanted to wake her up because I missed her when she was sleeping.  That I may just cry when you tell me my daughter didn't do great in Sunday School or childcare when I pick her up.  That I find it enjoyable to decorate my house and make things, but that I usually don't feel motivated to sit and read a book. That I'm not interested in talking about politics and I like using medicine and not pure, organic anything.  That I love talking to people and friends face to face but will happily avoid most phone calls. That I probably expect too much out of friendships, and need to adjust my expectations.  That I overanalyze text and facebook messages and probably read too far into things.  That I am one of the most high maintenance sleepers and suck at sleeping in general.  That I am really sensitive and feel lonely easily.  That I am stubborn and hate giving up, and am sure I passed that gene right along to Addilyn.  

And that God just made me easily annoyed.  Just kidding.  I know that it my own fault and I probably shouldn't just accept that one, but work on it.  We'll save that for year 32.  Sorry Chris.  

So here's to my year 31.  To being more confident and content with who I am and not waiting until 40 to do so!  

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8 comments:

Kelly said... Best Blogger TipsBest Blogger Templates

Happy, happy birthday!

xx Kelly
Sparkles and Shoes

maria said... Best Blogger TipsBest Blogger Templates

Happy birthday!!

Alana Livingston said... Best Blogger TipsBest Blogger Templates

Great goal! Happy birthday!! I hope today is great!

The Lady Okie said... Best Blogger TipsBest Blogger Templates

Happy birthday, Katie!

Mrs Gray said... Best Blogger TipsBest Blogger Templates

Love this! Happy, happy birthday!
(I'm right behind you--just 25 more days to 31. Seems like such a letdown after a big to-do about thirty! HA!)

PolkaDottyPlace said... Best Blogger TipsBest Blogger Templates

Happy Birthday, Katie!! You are the sweetest and I love your goals for the year. Good luck with them - being comfortable and confident in who you are is such a blessing. I love that you're working on it right away and not waiting for a big birthday milestone to accomplish it. I'm going to have to this of a goal for myself for the coming year because I love your idea so much. Hooray for November birthdays :)

Allyson Butler said... Best Blogger TipsBest Blogger Templates

Oh girl, that third paragraph has my name all over it! I was sure I was the only one of those! Happy birthday!!

Denise said... Best Blogger TipsBest Blogger Templates

such an awesome goal.