Confessions

jacket: old navy    top: loft     jeggings: walmart     boots: dsw

The other day I was returning something and it was taking awhile and I apologized to the woman behind me and her response was to roll her eyes.  I wanted to take back my apologize and was also annoyed because she was staring right at Addilyn and did not tell me how cute she was. 

After I came inside from taking pictures of this outfit, I bent over and ripped a part of the seam in the back of my blazer.  I can't even tell you what movie it's from or if I've seen it but all I could think of was Chris Farley singing fat man in a little suit.   
I'm not even sure I really love candy corn that much but I always buy it and always eat it all.  
I blame Addilyn for stealing a dog collar from Target the other day.  I found it in the bottom of the cart, under her carseat, after I had loaded her and all the groceries in the car and did not want to go back in.  I do intend to tell them next time I go and pay for it.  
You already know this but I'm a fan of pretty much all reality tv, including the new show Eric and Jessie on E. Pretty shallow, dumb and unrealistic, which means it's right up my alley. 

I feel like shopping with a baby gives you an excuse to look crazy and pretty much talk to yourself while you shop.   And I happily accept. 

Crabby McGee

Two posts in one day?  I couldn't possibly leave you with just this post from earlier, so here's another:

jacket: old navy (similar)   dress: francesca's (similar)     boots: dsw (similar)   scarf: made my my sister

Want to know a way to NOT turn your spouse's bad attitude around?

Call them Crabby McGee. 

or Crabby McCrabster. 

On occasion Chris would call me that when he is joking around about my bad attitude and it can go one of two ways. 

I may just laugh and it could slightly improve my mood. 

or it may have a high possibility of making me even more crabby. 

Either way I have to say that last week I just may have won an award for being ultra crabby at home and at school.  

The fact that it was dress up each day last week (crazy hair = crazy kids) and we had a power out and one half day of school.  That my friends, is a recipe for a crabby teacher.  

However, I am well aware that I am in control of my attitude and sometimes I wish that wasn't true.

It is much easier to be crabby and annoyed than choose to not let those things get to you.

So this week I'm working on putting away the Crabby McGee and having a better attitude! 

Hope you have a good start to the week!

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Blessings and Curses

jacket: old navy (similar)   shirt: tjmaxx (similar)  tee: target  

Do you ever read something insightful, hear good advice or encouragement and kind of wish you didn't hear it because you know it applies directly to you? 

Because sometimes it is really hard to believe and live out that advice. 

That is how I've been feeling after I read the book Cold Tangerines by Shauna Niequiest. 

I had read this book awhile ago and wanted to read it again, as I felt like it would be applicable during this stage in my life.  And I was right. 

In a chapter about blessings and curses, Shauna writes about a friend's hardships and how it seemed like God was being cruel that year, but how she knew that he was not. 

"What I know now is that his (God's) kindness burns through the deepest betrayals and invites life from death every chance we let him.  There are things the explode into our lives and we call them curses, and then one day, a year later or ten years later, we realize that they are actually something else.  They are the most precious kinds of blessings." 

I find myself many mornings having a mini pity party for myself as I have started a new round of fertility treatments. 

My mornings involve lots of different medicines and my breaks at school involve insurance phone calls and dr. appointments, my blog rolls and facebook feeds are filled with pregnancy updates and announcements and my thoughts are constantly filled with anxiousness and uncertainty for the future. 

There are many days I look at this current place I'm in and feel as though it isn't fair.  

And it is easier to be upset and annoyed at this place where God has me.  

But I have a choice daily. 

". . . but more often than not, there is something just past the heartbreak, just past the curse, just past the despair and that thing is beautiful.  You don't want it to be beautiful, at first. You want to stay in the pain and the blackness because it feels familiar, and because you're not done feeling victimized and smashed up.  But one day you'll wake up surprised and humbled, staring at something you thought for sure was a curse and has revealed itself to be a blessing - a beautiful, delicate, blessing." 

While I can see some blessings that have come from this trial, I have yet to see this season of our life as beautiful, but I am waiting.  I know some day I will get there and that gives me hope. 

While I fail all the time, I am working on this daily. 

 Daily choosing to accept this place where God has me, and daily searching for the blessings in all this.