October 15, 2012

Blessings and Curses

jacket: old navy (similar)   shirt: tjmaxx (similar)  tee: target  


Do you ever read something insightful, hear good advice or encouragement and kind of wish you didn't hear it because you know it applies directly to you? 
Because sometimes it is really hard to believe and live out that advice. 

That is how I've been feeling after I read the book Cold Tangerines by Shauna Niequiest. 

I had read this book awhile ago and wanted to read it again, as I felt like it would be applicable during this stage in my life.  And I was right. 

In a chapter about blessings and curses, Shauna writes about a friend's hardships and how it seemed like God was being cruel that year, but how she knew that he was not. 

"What I know now is that his (God's) kindness burns through the deepest betrayals and invites life from death every chance we let him.  There are things the explode into our lives and we call them curses, and then one day, a year later or ten years later, we realize that they are actually something else.  They are the most precious kinds of blessings." 

I find myself many mornings having a mini pity party for myself as I have started a new round of fertility treatments. 
My mornings involve lots of different medicines and my breaks at school involve insurance phone calls and dr. appointments, my blog rolls and facebook feeds are filled with pregnancy updates and announcements and my thoughts are constantly filled with anxiousness and uncertainty for the future. 

There are many days I look at this current place I'm in and feel as though it isn't fair.  
And it is easier to be upset and annoyed at this place where God has me.  
But I have a choice daily. 

". . . but more often than not, there is something just past the heartbreak, just past the curse, just past the despair and that thing is beautiful.  You don't want it to be beautiful, at first. You want to stay in the pain and the blackness because it feels familiar, and because you're not done feeling victimized and smashed up.  But one day you'll wake up surprised and humbled, staring at something you thought for sure was a curse and has revealed itself to be a blessing - a beautiful, delicate, blessing." 



While I can see some blessings that have come from this trial, I have yet to see this season of our life as beautiful, but I am waiting.  I know some day I will get there and that gives me hope. 
While I fail all the time, I am working on this daily. 
 Daily choosing to accept this place where God has me, and daily searching for the blessings in all this.  



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45 comments:

tricia said... Best Blogger TipsBest Blogger Templates

That book changed my life. I love Shauna and her honesty! The last line of your post is right where I am, too. Hugs!

Katie @ My Darling Days said... Best Blogger TipsBest Blogger Templates

katie, you are so inspirational and amazingly positive. all.the.time. keep your chin up hun, good things come to those who wait!

Crissy@ABerrySweetLife said... Best Blogger TipsBest Blogger Templates

I will be praying that God will bless you with a little one in His perfect timing! My husband and I aren't in the stage of trying yet, but I can imagine the anxiety that would come with it.

Ashley said... Best Blogger TipsBest Blogger Templates

Wow--it seems that everytime I log on, there is something and someone on here that I can relate to. I've not been tested nor has my husband, but we haven't been trying or deterring and nothing has happened so, I'm almost afraid to try because I'm afraid of what I might have to endure. God is able to grant you "immeasurably more that you could ask for or imagine". Ephesians 3:20 Prayers for you!

Kristin said... Best Blogger TipsBest Blogger Templates

...I should probably read that book...
I, too, have a mini-pity party for myself every. single. morning.
I go through this list of everything I hate like it's a rolodex or something.
However, the BIGGEST blessing to come out of this season of my own life has been blog friends.
And I know you feel the same because there are so many of us out there praying for you! :)

emily said... Best Blogger TipsBest Blogger Templates

I know we don't know each other, but I am so proud of you! I can't ever fully understand what you are going through but I can semi relate. My parents went through the same thing but eventually adopted. My husband and I have been trying a year and I will soon be in your position. Keep going! Every day will have a new trial, but remember it's for a reason. Everything will work out how it should. Now it's time to take my own advice... haha

L said... Best Blogger TipsBest Blogger Templates

Thinking of you as you start this next round. So many emotions, so much stress...you deserve for this to work. Rooting for you!!!

Jenny Strickland said... Best Blogger TipsBest Blogger Templates

I need to read that book!!!

Praying for you sweet friend!

Christina @My Life, Laughs, and Love said... Best Blogger TipsBest Blogger Templates

Your openness and honesty is so refreshing... but also bittersweet. As always, prayers and well wishes are headed your way ;) Your patience is inspiring!!

.....and you always look fab. that has to count for something !

Allie said... Best Blogger TipsBest Blogger Templates

I heard about you from Simply Here and you have an inspiring outlook on life. I hope to learn from you :)

Whitney@Keeping Up with the Cyperts said... Best Blogger TipsBest Blogger Templates

That book sounds amazing. I think struggling with things like conceiving a child, or in our case, Garrett finding a good job, just get so exhausting and become so repetitive that it is so easy to fall into being negative and pitying yourself. Atleast I do. Alot. This post was so helpful in reminding me to stay positive and realize that this isn't forever and will probably be something we look back on with great memories. I hope the same is true for y'all!

Alyssa @ Sugar, Spice, and a Dash of Advice said... Best Blogger TipsBest Blogger Templates

Your outlook is inspiring and we could all use that reminder sometimes :) I'm also going through some tough things right now but I try and keep remembering that everything happens for a reason. It's difficult not to get caught up in the negativity of life's challenges but you're right- it's a choice to not be a victim. I'm sending good vibes and hugs your way!

Amanda Raborn said... Best Blogger TipsBest Blogger Templates

Such an inspirational and honest post, Katie! Praying for you :)

You look teeny and cozy in that skirt and jacket!

Amanda
It's an Easy Life

Katie said... Best Blogger TipsBest Blogger Templates

Loved this post! Everything is happening perfectly :)

CC said... Best Blogger TipsBest Blogger Templates

Thanks for such a great post. I will continue praying for you as you begin this next round. Although I can't relate to your fertility issues, we are also in a holding phase just waiting for God to show us where to go next. We have been here for a year now and it is so hard to see this season of life as anything but negative. But every 'cursed' season in my life has turned out to be a blessing. This too shall pass. I pray that your prayers will be answered soon. Waiting is so hard. :)

Chrissy + Nate said... Best Blogger TipsBest Blogger Templates

First off, you are such an encouragement! Using your blog as an outlet for sharing your faith and trust in God is huge!!! You never know who could be reading and going through the same trials that you are. Thank you for giving hope through Christ! Secondly, your outfit is adorable. I may be copying you at school tomorrow :)

Betty said... Best Blogger TipsBest Blogger Templates

Okay, first thing...I love your honesty. It is so hard to accept life for what it currently is when we are wanting so much more (like a precious baby). But I agree...that someday we can look back at this time in our lives and see it as a beautiful blessing. Also, it sounds like I need to read this book!

Kaylynn Zoe said... Best Blogger TipsBest Blogger Templates

I'm gonna find that book. Seriously. Sounds fantastic.

Amanda said... Best Blogger TipsBest Blogger Templates

You are so right.. It is a daily choice. && how many times do I fail at choosing joy instead of complaining, etc. thanks for the reminder. I'm trusting with you that God has a beautiful perfect plan for your future! Thanks for your encouragement :) you are wonderful!
XO

Jennifer @ Delightfully Noted said... Best Blogger TipsBest Blogger Templates

And now I feel like your post is speaking directly to me bc just tonight I cried and whined about all the things that weren't fair in my life lately and sometimes I do need to accept where I'm at and find the blessings in it all.

Jessica @ Here(and)Now said... Best Blogger TipsBest Blogger Templates

I hope you get to see beautiful blessings my dear!
xx
Here&Now

Brittany said... Best Blogger TipsBest Blogger Templates

You are beautiful, inside and out Katie. God has BIG plans for you...I love following your journey and know its going to end a happy, blessed one.

Mimi said... Best Blogger TipsBest Blogger Templates

I have just started reading the book and it is indeed an inspiration in ways that really make you think and ponder on the greatness of God.

Stay encouraged. Someone in Atlanta is praying for you!

Fash Boulevard said... Best Blogger TipsBest Blogger Templates

Such a cute outfit. That scarf is amazing. I can't wait for it to get cold enough for scarves here in LA.

I would love for you to stop by my blog and check out my first magazine feature! :)
www.fashboulevard.blogspot.com

TheTinyHeart said... Best Blogger TipsBest Blogger Templates

I think it is always difficult to see hard times in a positive light while we are still experiencing it. Continuing to think of you and Chris as you go through the next round of treatments.

-Sharon
The Tiny Heart
1000 Followers Giveaway Extravaganza!

Laura said... Best Blogger TipsBest Blogger Templates

This is a great reminder... I'm so amazed at how strong you've been through this whole process. Not that it doesn't hurt, but that you're clinging to the Lord through it all. If we're making HIM our satisfaction and joy, than we can get through anything. Thank you for being an example of this!

I'm interested in that book now I'll have to check it out!

Emily said... Best Blogger TipsBest Blogger Templates

What a great post. I love it when I have experiences that help me bet better. Love the outfit too!

creamyclothes.blogspot.com

christina said... Best Blogger TipsBest Blogger Templates

oh sweet friend...you had me in tears. It is such a huge heartache to long for a baby ( I too had struggles with this )

But just keep standing on God's promises and keep in prayer and arm yourself with scripture when the enemy tries to attack your mind and peace.

you might not see the blessings now, but you will when you get to hold that sweet baby in your arms ( I am believe and standing with you that you will :) Just remember his perfect timing and grace.

~julee~ said... Best Blogger TipsBest Blogger Templates

All things work together for the good. Sending you TONS of good thoughts and hugs!

Always Maylee said... Best Blogger TipsBest Blogger Templates

I am sending you positive thoughts during this next round. The anxiousness and uncertainty is so hard to overcome, but you will get there. I hope that you will finally get the blessing that you deserve!

xo, Yi-chia
Always Maylee

Jessica @ Lovely Little Things said... Best Blogger TipsBest Blogger Templates

This post brought tears to my eyes. I really needed to read this today. And I am definitely going to look into reading that book! Thank you, girl!

xo

Denise said... Best Blogger TipsBest Blogger Templates

Such a heart touching post. Bless you for willingly accepting the place where God has placed you.

Jen said... Best Blogger TipsBest Blogger Templates

I read this first thing this morning and prayed for you! It was also a good reminder that what I might see as a curse (a 2 yr old that suddenly won't sleep through the night anymore), might be a blessing to others. We all have "curses" that will be blessings later in life, and that others may see as blessings right now... Such wise words- regardless of what our struggles are. Thanks, Katie!

-Stephanie said... Best Blogger TipsBest Blogger Templates

Love your grey maxi skirt!

Haley Titus said... Best Blogger TipsBest Blogger Templates

Your outfit is so cute! Glad to have found your blog <3

Best,
Colour Me Classic

Ashley said... Best Blogger TipsBest Blogger Templates

Waiting is the hardest part about any situation, I think.

"...a beautiful, delicate blessing" I love that line. We may not even know why for years and years...but somehow our adversity will be a blessing.

thank you for posting this Katie!

Ashley said... Best Blogger TipsBest Blogger Templates

You are such an inspiration and I am amazed by your optimistic outlook. Keep your chin up, lovely! Sending plenty of warm wishes your way.

PS Your outfit is SO cute!! Obsessed with that skirt! xx


Twenties Girl Style
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Annie said... Best Blogger TipsBest Blogger Templates

Those are such inspirational words...and definitely comforting. Good luck with your new cycle Katie! And love the maxi with the denim jacket :)

Annie
The Other Side of Gray

Christi Lynn said... Best Blogger TipsBest Blogger Templates

aren't maxi skirts the best!

Lily said... Best Blogger TipsBest Blogger Templates

Yup! i definitely do feel like that!

Giovanna said... Best Blogger TipsBest Blogger Templates

Loving your positivity! Need to check that book out!

xx
Giovanna
www.oliveandanarrow.com

Samantha Curtis said... Best Blogger TipsBest Blogger Templates

Keep your chin up! I'll keep you in my thoughts and prayers... you're a fabulous person and it will happen for you :)

Lora said... Best Blogger TipsBest Blogger Templates

You are in my prayers...I recently started trying for a baby and when it didn't happen immediately, i couldn't help but think of you and other bloggers that I follow. everyone, including my dang dog, is knocked up and it is horrible to see it happening to everyone but you. I can't imagine how much it would hurt to keep trying and it not working. But you are so right, God has a plan for each and everyone of us. I will continue to pray for you!
www.RaisingSteppeSisters.blogspot.com

Jen said... Best Blogger TipsBest Blogger Templates

Beautiful Quotes. I am really sorry you are having such a hard time becoming pregnant. That really does break my heart. In fact, I am going to pray for you right now that the Lord would comfort you and grant you peace and contentment during this time of waiting. And that yes, you would remain hopeful in Christ that you will one day look back on this season as a blessing. Thanks for the sweet reminder that God is Sovereign and that regardless of our trials and we are called to be content in Christ in all circumstances.

And oh yeah, I like the pattern mixing today. I'm glad you didn't put the dress on backwards :)

Ronda said... Best Blogger TipsBest Blogger Templates

You are the 4th person who has said that book has spoken truth to them, I'm going to have to check it out. I love you outfit in this one. I always want to pull off the maxi skirt and never feel like I do, but you my dear look gret.