I have about fifteen unfinished drafts for posts just sitting there waiting to be finished. Some random ones, some about motherhood, and some with things I'm loving and am thankful for.
But I'm having a hard time finishing any of them. A big part is that I don't have any outfit pictures to add to them. Or energy to proofread and finish any of the more meaningful ones. And mostly because I've started second guessing everything I write about, whether light hearted or heartfelt.
I'm struggling a little with the purpose of this blog and the feeling of accomplishment and enjoyment in doing it. When I was going through our fertility treatments this blog was such a huge blessing, as it was a great source of encouragement and an outlet for me. I also felt like God was using me to share my faith through that struggle and therefore gave my blog more of a purpose.
I definitely want to keep blogging, as honestly I think I'd wear yoga pants 90% of the time, instead of 50% of the time if I wasn't motivated by sharing outfit posts. I also love that I can have a record of Addilyn's pictures, stories and monthly updates. But I just haven't figured out what blogging really looks like for me now as a mom.
I worry sometimes that I'll lose readers because my content is boring or repetitive, but honestly I feel like my daily life right now is a little repetitive. And I am completely okay with that (most of the time). I'm just not sure how that will be reflected in my blog. Sometimes I read these other blogs of stay at home moms and they have this beautiful hippie like hair and vintagey dressed kids with high quality pictures, all which I'm a little jealous of. Sometimes I think maybe if I lived on a farm, with long wavy hair, gardening while baby wearing Addilyn, then wrote about it on my blog it would be much more appealing.
Then I realize I am completely losing site of why I want to blog. While I can't say that I honestly don't care about attracting readers and wanting them to approve of what I write, I can say that I want to be true to what my life is like. And it isn't that. It is a little repetitive, but most of the time feels right where I should be.
And ironically I'm not quite sure what the purpose of this post is other than to just share my thoughts. And to say thanks for those that take the time to read it, encourage me and remind me that real life isn't about fancy pictures, beautiful hair and perfection.