more than me
I am so thankful for this blog as I know these moments will slip away so quickly and I'm grateful that I have a place to write them out and hold on to these days a little longer.
The other day Addilyn had a harder day. A day filled with more tears and less sleep than normal. I was exhausted myself and find that those days I crave quiet snuggles at bedtime more than others. While it doesn't always happen, when it does I find myself able to take some deep breaths, relax and almost forget how tiring the day has been. I'm also filled with this overwhelming sense of love and desire to protect my baby.
Two of the times during the day Addilyn cried because she was hurt. One being my fault when I accidently scratched her and another when Molly dropped a toy on her. I've learned to recognize her hurt or scared tears, as they are so different than her other tears. I know fully well that Addilyn will have so many of these, and many far worse in the future and it already makes my heart sad.
That night after I nursed Addilyn and she fell asleep in my arms I didn't put her down for quite awhile and just stared at her little, perfect face and had a hard time not getting all teary. It reminded me of this post, when I shared how I want to hold everything I love as tight as I can because I'm afraid of anything happening to it. I got that same feeling while holding Addilyn. I just want to squeeze her as tight as I can, hold her as long as possible and protect her from anything that will hurt her.
I was so quickly reminded, as I continually learn this lesson, that God is far more of a protector than I could be. I feel as though I couldn't love Addilyn any more than I already do, but I know that God loves her even more than I do. He has a perfect plan for my sweet baby.
I know I will face this lesson many times as a mom and I want to start learning it and applying it now. I prayed that night, thanking God for my precious gift. Thanking Him for protecting her, for loving her and knowing her even better than I do.
19 comments:
I understand completely! I think sometimes God wants us to loosen our grip and get out of His way, so that He can really take the reigns! I am no good at this, especially where O is concerned. And, it seems like it's on the more difficult days that it's harder to let go. But, the times recently, when I have been able to let go a little, God has done some amazing things :)
I can't even imagine the overwhelming feelings/emotions that must come w/ being a mom and wanting to protect your child more than anything in the world. You are so right. Enjoy all the snuggles and holding time!!!
you know I really don't read very many mommy blogs but I just adore yours. I think my mom cared for me as much as you care for addilyn and your words come across so beautifully. love this Katie.
You are beautiful and so is your sweet girl. She is a lucky little lady. :)
Shes adorable!
Aw, I love this! What a lucky little girl to have such a wonderful mom!
She is so pretty and I know years from now you are going to love that you documented all of this!
xx
Kelly
Sparkles and Shoes
I love this post and now know exactly how you feel! Addilyn is precious
Such a beautiful post.
The best part is that feeling of wanting to protect, that feeling of overwhelming love... It just grows and grows.
I would want to hold her so tight too! She gets cuter as time goes on.
xo,
Angela
Girrrrrlllll.... You may not be funny but darn it if you don't inspire the masses!!!!
I love this so much!
This is beautiful. I love how transparent you are about everything. Your daughter is so lucky to have an amazing mom like you. Enjoy those cuddles, they grow up so fast. My 13 month old nephew no longer wants to be cuddled, so I am getting in as many cuddles as I can with my sweet Kendall.
I am with you sister! My daughter is 12 and I still watch her while she sleeps. It is never easy to let go of something - especially a child. I would like to tell you that is gets easier, but I can't. I think she will need you even more as she grows. But I can tell you that I have enjoyed every second of the time I get to be a mom. Not a moment has passed that I am not thankful for the chance to be a part of my precious daughter's life. What a gift(: Susan
Beautifully written!! Such a good mother :)
Wow. This post really touched my heart. I can't completely relate since I'm not a mom myself, but I often feel the similar feelings about my baby sister!
It is absolutely amazing that we have a God who is in control of everything! I know for a fact that will be something that I'll have to remind myself of time and again when I have a little one.
this was such a sweet post. so so good.
I love how I can feel the special bond that you and your daughter already have, just through the words you put on the screen. So special!
xx
Here&Now
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