I am so thankful for this blog as I know these moments will slip away so quickly and I'm grateful that I have a place to write them out and hold on to these days a little longer.
The other day Addilyn had a harder day. A day filled with more tears and less sleep than normal. I was exhausted myself and find that those days I crave quiet snuggles at bedtime more than others. While it doesn't always happen, when it does I find myself able to take some deep breaths, relax and almost forget how tiring the day has been. I'm also filled with this overwhelming sense of love and desire to protect my baby.
Two of the times during the day Addilyn cried because she was hurt. One being my fault when I accidently scratched her and another when Molly dropped a toy on her. I've learned to recognize her hurt or scared tears, as they are so different than her other tears. I know fully well that Addilyn will have so many of these, and many far worse in the future and it already makes my heart sad.
That night after I nursed Addilyn and she fell asleep in my arms I didn't put her down for quite awhile and just stared at her little, perfect face and had a hard time not getting all teary. It reminded me of this post, when I shared how I want to hold everything I love as tight as I can because I'm afraid of anything happening to it. I got that same feeling while holding Addilyn. I just want to squeeze her as tight as I can, hold her as long as possible and protect her from anything that will hurt her.
I was so quickly reminded, as I continually learn this lesson, that God is far more of a protector than I could be. I feel as though I couldn't love Addilyn any more than I already do, but I know that God loves her even more than I do. He has a perfect plan for my sweet baby.
I know I will face this lesson many times as a mom and I want to start learning it and applying it now. I prayed that night, thanking God for my precious gift. Thanking Him for protecting her, for loving her and knowing her even better than I do.