. . . for Lauren and Lauren: On saying yes

July 31, 2017

On saying yes

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I know there are a ton of people that write or talk about how they can't say no, or need to work on saying no more often.  I actually am pretty good at saying no.  Sometimes I think it's really healthy and that I know my boundaries and what works for my family.  And other times I think I'm making my family ridgid and I probably miss out on some fun things.  So I'm learning where that line is and am trying to say yes more often. 

Fourth of July weekend was a great example.  We had few plans for the four days before they came and then ended up doing so many things.  We said yes to a boat ride, a neighbor's party, BBQ at a friends and fireworks at another friends.  We were home very little and off our normal schedules.  

And about 80% of it went well.  Which I'm going to say is pretty good odds.  Isaac did great at the fireworks until the last ten minutes.  We then proceeded to sit in the car and not move AN INCH for over an hour.  At 10:00 at night.  I was about to lose my mind. We didn't get the kids to bed until after 11:00.  Isaac then woke up at his normal 5:30 and cried for a straight hour and a half and was so so crabby the next few days. Like he was paying me back for the four hours of sleep he missed that night.  BUT Addi had a total blast and it was one of my favorite things watching her.  It was a rough morning after and even maybe a few days of crabbiness for Isaac, but looking back a few weeks later it feels totally worth and was a great family memory for us.

The other Saturday we decided last minute to join my family at the zoo.  To someone else that may seem like no big deal and a completely normal, fun thing to do.  To me if felt out of character and a big deal.  I don't really like the zoo, it's far, a full day trip and just not my thing.  But Chris loves it and I knew Addi would too, and I wanted to spend time with my parents and nieces and nephew. We had 15 minutes to pack up our bags and drive over an hour to the zoo.  Skip nap times, plans to get things done that day, and do something fun as a family for the whole day.  Just about every part of the day went well.  And I'm so glad we said yes.

I am a full advocate of schedules and routines and predictability.  It makes me happy, sane and feels important to my family.  And I want most of my days to be full of those things.  But I'm slowly learning the importance of saying yes in those circumstances. In knowing that it'll be tiring and more work, but often come with fun memories.  And remembering that sometimes saying yes may still mean a disaster trip, or sitting in your car not moving an inch at 10:30 at night with both kids.  But in the long run the yeses will be worth it.


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I am trying to get better about saying yes more, too. We work well with schedules and routines, but it's fun for everyone most times we spontaneously say yes to something! :)