Dear Addilyn

Dear Addilyn Jane, 
I can't even tell you how excited I was to meet you.  I had pictured that moment so many times.  And while it didn't go just as I planned and I didn't get to hold you right when you came out, the moment I met you was far more amazing then I could have imagined.  I still have a hard time believing that you are my daughter.  I worried at the beginning that we wouldn't get to bond like we should because I didn't get to hold you right away and you spend the first few days under the lights, but thankfully we quickly made up for lost time! 

Your first month has been quite a blur.  We've spent most of our time at home, and you spend most of your time being held.  I love staring at your little face and think you are the most beautiful baby I've ever seen. You have the biggest yawns and the sweetest faces.  You also get the hiccups quite a bit and sneeze a lot too! 

It took us awhile to figure out how to get you to sleep on your own at night.  We tried a bouncy seat, swing, pack and play and finally a co-sleeper that goes next to our bed.  I think that it didn't matter what we put you in, you would just rather be held!  And I didn't mind it either.  We spent many nights at the beginning sitting on the recliner all night so you could eat and sleep whenever you wanted.  While I was so tired those nights, I'm already a little sad that you're not that little baby and are already growing so much.   You love being sprawled out.  When you sleep on me you put your arms around me like you're giving me a hug and like to spread your legs out too, almost like a little frog.  Sometimes when you're fussy you just want to be put down and not held.  I think you are taking after me with wanting some personal space sometimes!  When you were about four weeks you smiled at me for the first time and I cried.  It made me feel so happy that you know my face and my voice and that I can make you smile.  Now you smile at daddy, and your grandma and grandpa too.  You definitely make everyone's heart happy!  From the very beginning we knew you were a strong, little fighter.  You fought to stay in my belly when you were only 5 weeks and continued to grow and grow, even though there were things making it difficult.  I shouldn't have been surprised when you came out as a strong little lady on day one.  Fighting when you didn't breathe right away and then fighting off your jaundice, growing and gaining weight the whole time.  I bet you are going to get my stubbornness, which may cause us some issues when you get older!  I can't count how many times your daddy and I look at you and then at each other and say how beautiful you are and how lucky we are that you are ours.  While I'm sad that you are already getting bigger, I can't even wait for you to go through more milestones and for us to get to know each other more and more.  You are the biggest blessing we've ever been given and we thank God for you every single night.  I love you so much and think you are just the best thing in the world. 
Love, 
your mom