. . . for Lauren and Lauren: Holidays are Messy

May 11, 2015

Holidays are Messy


I feel like holidays are really tricky with kids.  You have big plans, things schedules and more pressure for a really good day.  It's too bad toddlers don't understand that holidays should be different than any other days.   While I don't think I could ever not be disappointed if a holiday doesn't turn how I thought, I think I'm starting to learn that I really have no control over it.  

At the end of Mother's Day, my sister and I went to Target alone.  (A real Mother's Day present, right?)  We were talking about the pressure of holidays.  To get a perfect picture, to share something sentinmental, to really enjoy the day.  The thing is, if you have young kids, the chances of all of those happening are pretty slim.  

We actually had a great Mother's Day.  Addilyn slept pretty well the night before, was happy with Chris getting up with her in the morning (a rare thing), did great in the church nursery and took a great nap.  We hosted Mother's Day at our house and she did great.  Now the picture part, not so much.  Of course the one picture that was great, was super blurry.  Thank you Chris.  

But we've had our share already of rough holidays.  Easter was a complete miss, as Addilyn woke up with the stomach flu.  Last Halloween she had a really nasty cold, was terribly crabby, the weather was awful, and Chris was sick, so we did one house of trick or treating and the day was not even close to what I had expected.  

Add into it that it gets messy when you want to share about your holiday on social media, especially Mother's Day.  I know how hard Mother's Day can be when you don't have kids, but so badly long to be a mother.  So do you not post anything because you don't want to make things worse for those that are hurting?  Do you post your one beautiful picture you get or a real life one that is much more accurate of how your life is?  

I think I've spent a lot of time comparing my daily life to others.  A lot of time worrying about what other people are feeling, which can be great, but also can take the joy out of your own day.  I think what I'm learning is that number one I need to have low expectations.  That it's okay to plan how I want our day to go, plan on taking cute pictures and all being happy, but know that a lot of things are out of my control.  And then number two, I'm responsible for how I feel.  If my day is a mess and others are posting these beautiful pictures, so what.  Good for them if their day is great, but more likely than not they took 20 pictures to get one good one and there were probably tears and bribery along with it.  If I am totally happy with our day but then see three people announce pregnancies with baby number two, then I need to have an attitude adjustment or maybe just not spend time on social media.  

Sometimes I think about trading in the time I spend thinking about what I'm going to share with others or how to word things correctly, for thoughts about things I'm thankful for or anything else far more productive.  So I'm remembering this for next holiday.  There's a good chance it's not going to be perfect.  And that is completely okay.  This is a season of life with little kids and it's messy and loud and unpredictable.  And if I get a great picture, then that is a super bonus.  

But if the majority of my pictures look like this, then I'll have plenty of stories to tell her when she's older.   Like how the highlight of this Mother's Day was dancing on the table and showing everyone how big she can open her mouth.  

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Ashley said... Best Blogger TipsBest Blogger Templates

The prego announcements are running rapid lately - I'm happy for them, but then it reminds me how sad I am for myself! Soo selfish, but it's true! Noah was sort of cranky on Mothers Day... I didn't feel like doing my hair, so a good pic of us was out the window! I've learned to try to expect less in my day and so far it has led to some really great days!! Happy Mothers Day!!

maria said... Best Blogger TipsBest Blogger Templates

I actually LOVE that first photo! It's so real, THAT is life with a toddler! Addilyn looks adorable and you look awesome! Personally, I think those are the kind of photos of my kids I'll treasure when they're all grown up.
But i totally understand the pressure of having a 'instagrammable' holiday. For some reason I always get really princess b*tchy on my birthdays, it's not pretty :). I'm learning to accept that life (especially with kids/ toddlers) isn't perfect, and that I should lower my expectations juuust a little ;)

Lauren said... Best Blogger TipsBest Blogger Templates

You are spot on here! So much pressure! Mine are 2.5 and 15 months, and there are not any nice family pictures. I actually got into an argument with my mother about it at Easter. So stupid! But! I wanted the cute pictures just like everyone else. I didn't even try for Mothers Day, and I was totally fine with it.

Murdock's mama said... Best Blogger TipsBest Blogger Templates

This post is pretty much what I wanted to write. I tend to be an emotional basket case every Mother's Day. It's sad that I spend half the day worrying about everyone else instead of just enjoying the day with my kids. I'm glad it's 'normal' though. Thanks for sharing!

Erin LFF said... Best Blogger TipsBest Blogger Templates

I was just talking to someone about this over the weekend. I feel like we ALL put so much pressures on holidays and big events to be the BEST DAY EVER, and then are often let-down because things do go wrong. But that's life! Let's stop setting our standards of perfection and just look forward to a day with our family, time with friends, etc! :) Great post girl.

J and A said... Best Blogger TipsBest Blogger Templates

I love that first photo. We didn't even take a photo. I wanted to but we ran out of time and then we were worn out!

Sarah said... Best Blogger TipsBest Blogger Templates

yes on the pregnancy announcements, I got two on Sunday. I find that it's best to just go with the flow like you were saying. This Mother's Day started out like any other day, but at the end of the day, I was surrounded by the people I love the most and eating a yummy dinner outside by the pool. I try not to go on social media on holidays for that exact reason too. I always feel so pressured to put up the perfect picture and come up with the perfect words that I just don't, and enjoy the day.