It is still hard to believe we have a baby. That I am Addilyn's mom. While I usually avoid talking in third person, there have been a few times when I've been talking to Addilyn and I say something about me being her momma and it still hits me that is my real life. The last three weeks have been such a blur and have been filled with lots of exhaustion and emotions.
I was well aware that newborns are a lot of work but nothing can really prepare you for the physical and emotional changes that you go through and the reality of what it means to have a baby. And to be honest it has been harder than I thought it would be. It has been filled with more moments of anxiety and feeling overwhelmed than I thought.
But the other day I had a moment that I want to remember and hold on to during the sleepless nights and baby tears. I was experiencing one of the first true "fussy" times and was having a hard time making Addilyn happy and content.
I put on my happy wrap and got her in it by myself (which itself made me proud) and turned on some music and just walked around my kitchen. Holding her sweet little head and staring at her open, beautiful eyes. She quickly settled down and just stared at me for minutes before falling asleep. I continued to walk around the kitchen, just staring down at my precious baby girl.
It was a moment that I had almost pictured when I so strongly was waiting to be a mom. I couldn't help but cry. Tears from feeling overwhelmed with emotions that this beautiful baby was mine. That I was able to soothe and comfort her. That these first few hard weeks, while full of tiring and hard moments, are also full of tender, beautiful ones too.
(Addilyn wearing pajamas my mom bought me over two years ago when we were trying to get pregnant. So thankful I have a baby to put in them now.)
I'm quickly learning that motherhood is full of ups and downs and I know it will continue just like that. One moment of feeling confident and happy and then one of feeling nervous and emotional. I'm learning the importance of recognizing all of those feelings and holding onto those precious moments like this one.
Definitely a moment worth remembering! Isn't it amazing that this one little person is completely dependent on you!?! It can be completely overwhelming at times too, but so much love for that one little miss makes it all worth it!
Hang in there, Katie...and keep looking for those moments! I am one of those mamas who can honestly say, enjoying my kids as babies was not easy. Continuing to pray for you and sweet Addilyn. :)
Beautiful post! Everyone keeps telling me that I need to sleep when the baby sleeps but all I want to do is stare at him because its hard to believe he's really mine and really there - such an amazing feeling!
So sweet! So glad you were able to stay calm and think of a creative way to settle her. I'm sure you will continue to be a great mom to her. Get some sleep when you can! ;)
7 years in, I can tell you that being a mother is still tiring and very hard, but I still have those moments, quite regularly. My husband is always shaking his head at me, as I gaze at our little loves with tears in my eyes.
Well that makes me tear up just thinking about it! It sounds like such a special moment. I'm sure you are doing perfect with her. I hope you feel rested soon. I can't believe it's been three weeks already!
I love your honesty. I think what scares me most is the unknown and the uncontrollable. Giving it all to God is so hard. But so necessary. How do you like your Happy wrap? I won one a year ago from a blog giveaway and cant' wait to use it come January!
Beautiful post! You've really verbalized what it feels like those first few weeks (and forever as a mother). A baby wrap is so wonderful! I'm glad you have one and learned to get Addilyn in it by yourself. You're a super woman!!! :-)
This was such a sweet post. I bet there are so many more moments where you realize how much you need God now that you are a mother. I'm so glad you have a baby to soothe too! I bet it is the best feeling!
You're so right... Those moments of ups and downs will continue. And, 17 months in on our own journey and I still find myself welling up with tears. It's amazing to have such a precious gift!
I love hearing your sweet, honest, raw emotions! You seem like such a fabulous & caring mother! I'm sure it will be like this until she has children of her own ;)
This post is beautiful. We're expecting our first in just 10 weeks and I am SO overwhelmed with gratitude and just the blessing of it all. I love the quick note you made about the PJs, too--makes them all the more special. Congratulations to you and your husband! :)
34 comments:
Definitely a moment worth remembering! Isn't it amazing that this one little person is completely dependent on you!?! It can be completely overwhelming at times too, but so much love for that one little miss makes it all worth it!
Hang in there, Katie...and keep looking for those moments! I am one of those mamas who can honestly say, enjoying my kids as babies was not easy. Continuing to pray for you and sweet Addilyn. :)
Beautiful post! Everyone keeps telling me that I need to sleep when the baby sleeps but all I want to do is stare at him because its hard to believe he's really mine and really there - such an amazing feeling!
So sweet! So glad you were able to stay calm and think of a creative way to settle her. I'm sure you will continue to be a great mom to her. Get some sleep when you can! ;)
That is the sweetest story:) The first few weeks ARE tough... but it's these little moments that make it all worth it.
How beautiful this is. It truly gives me hope. :) I love you Katie and your beautiful girl! So glad to be seeing Gods faithfulness before my eyes.
7 years in, I can tell you that being a mother is still tiring and very hard, but I still have those moments, quite regularly. My husband is always shaking his head at me, as I gaze at our little loves with tears in my eyes.
Beautiful Post!!! She is so beautiful!!
This is beautiful, katie. Maybe it's the fact that I'm due in 2 days but I just cried reading this. You are amazing.
absolutely lovely!
xo Jessica
www.NewlyLoved.com
Simply beautifully written
Nothing can prepare you for what it's like to actually be a mother. I'm sure you are doing a wonderful job with your sweet little girl.
Ginny
She's so cute!!!! Love this!
Carly
www.lipglossandcrayons.com
This made me tear up! That's such a special moment and she is so lucky to have you as her Mom!
xo,
Angela
I love this! She is precious. So happy for you!
This made me tear up! Your little one is absolutely a gift from God!
This is so lovely! Aren't those moments the best?
xo
That sounds like the perfect mommy/baby moment :) Addilyn is adorable Katie!
Annie
The Other Side of Gray
you are a momma!!! this is truly so sweet! so happy for you!
Well that makes me tear up just thinking about it! It sounds like such a special moment. I'm sure you are doing perfect with her. I hope you feel rested soon. I can't believe it's been three weeks already!
I love your honesty. I think what scares me most is the unknown and the uncontrollable. Giving it all to God is so hard. But so necessary. How do you like your Happy wrap? I won one a year ago from a blog giveaway and cant' wait to use it come January!
What a special moment between the two of you! Hope you're able to get some sleep :)
-Sharon
The Tiny Heart
Beautiful post! You've really verbalized what it feels like those first few weeks (and forever as a mother). A baby wrap is so wonderful! I'm glad you have one and learned to get Addilyn in it by yourself. You're a super woman!!! :-)
This was such a sweet post. I bet there are so many more moments where you realize how much you need God now that you are a mother. I'm so glad you have a baby to soothe too! I bet it is the best feeling!
Beyond cute.
That is so precious and I am so glad God finally blessed you with a baby!
xx
Kelly
Sparkles and Shoes
You're so right... Those moments of ups and downs will continue. And, 17 months in on our own journey and I still find myself welling up with tears. It's amazing to have such a precious gift!
Oh, this just brought tears to my eyes! I'm so happy that you had this beautiful moment with your precious daughter. You are an amazing momma!
Love reading moments like these... You are doing great new mommy :)
I love hearing your sweet, honest, raw emotions! You seem like such a fabulous & caring mother! I'm sure it will be like this until she has children of her own ;)
xx
Here&Now
She is just adorable. Thanks for sharing your real life testimony to what it really feels like being a new mommy. Awesome read.
http://thriftyandshameless.blogspot.com
This post is beautiful. We're expecting our first in just 10 weeks and I am SO overwhelmed with gratitude and just the blessing of it all. I love the quick note you made about the PJs, too--makes them all the more special. Congratulations to you and your husband! :)
What a beautiful moment and she really is so, so precious!
Beautiful baby girl! :-) xx
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