. . . for Lauren and Lauren: on my mind

April 9, 2014

on my mind

I'm slowly feeling more confident in working out.  I'm getting back into actually running and am excited to get outside some day (hopefully soon) and see how far I can run.  I forgot how much working out made me feel better, happier and stronger.  I signed up for the Chicago marathon lottery and will find out in a few days if I made it in and honestly am not sure if I should go for it if I do.  I'm scared about training and running it again, and finding the time and energy to do it.  But the idea of finishing a marathon again makes me really excited. 
Sometimes when I read blog posts I find myself getting judgemental or critical of things I read.  Then I feel bad that I'm thinking those things and wish negativity didn't flow in my mind so quickly.  Then I wonder what kind of things people think when they read my blog. Then I second guess myself and what people think of my blog, followed by reminding myself that no one is making me blog and if I don't want to do it or am worrying about it too much then I should stop.  This whole cycle of thinking is really some wasted time and energy.  

The last two weeks nursing has been a struggle for me.  Addilyn has never really been a sweet comfort nurser (besides those first few months as a newborn), but lately it's been a struggle to even get her to nurse at her regular times.  She also started biting me when nursing which has been terrible.  I want nursing to be something that I love and that Addilyn loves and it's been frustrating that it's been a stressful part of my day. I'm hoping it is a phase that is ending soon as I plan on nursing her until she is at least one.  

This low commenting in the blog world thing is getting to me.  Enter the second guessing and over analyzing of my blog.  

Addilyn has been sick again and today was extremely draining.  For about two hours straight she pretty much cried and whined and cried some more. Took a thirty minute nap on me and then cried again for another hour.  Which is very unlike her. It was so frustrating not knowing how to help her.  It made me really grateful that she is an overall happy baby.  

I've been trying to eat healthier in general and am doing a little better. (Minus days when I'm stuck at home all day with a sick, cranky baby.  Those days don't count.)  I'm trying to eat a healthier breakfast, like oatmeal each morning.  But today after my oatmeal I ate a cookie.  And the other night I'm pretty sure I ate half a bag of starburst jelly beans. 

Relate to any of these? Nursing mamas been through an anti-nursing or biting stage? Any other random thoughts welcome. 

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Savanna said... Best Blogger TipsBest Blogger Templates

I think you are an incredibly strong woman and mom Katie. I love reading your blog. Commenting is just a pain in the butt on feedly. I miss google reader. As for anti nursing. My kids always start eating less around 9 months. Brighton used to nurse or take an 8 oz bottle four times a day. Recently she is down to 3-7 ounce bottles a day. We stopped nursing a month ago because I was done with the biting, lack of concentration, and constant mastitis.

Laura A said... Best Blogger TipsBest Blogger Templates

Just want you to know I'm a reader but commenting is a pain to attempt through my phone. I read every post though and really enjoy your perspective !

shelleystursma said... Best Blogger TipsBest Blogger Templates

For biting, I removed the child and said, "No bite!". It is a phase.

And I have been using my tablet to read blogs recently, and it is not as easy as typing with a keyboard. I'm still reading!

J and A said... Best Blogger TipsBest Blogger Templates

Good work on the workout!! Totally do the marathon! It will be something for YOU. No bites yet. I'm scared. I hope she feels better soon. ;( poor girl. And mama.

Kate said... Best Blogger TipsBest Blogger Templates

Biting is a phase :p My son is 13 months and we're still nursing! He had the urge to bite when his teeth first poked through but a poke on the cheek and a serious voice saying "We don't bite" helped that to stop. Nowadays all I have to say is "Ow" and he checks himself :) There are always rough days but it gets better!

Linnea said... Best Blogger TipsBest Blogger Templates

You are such a great mom! Yay for the marathon. I have done two halfs but never a whole. Lol. I love reading your blog every night even if I don't always comment.

Clara said... Best Blogger TipsBest Blogger Templates

Katie, I have been reading your blog for almost to years now and ashamedly I have been one of those silent readers. I have loved following along with you and Addilyn. She is adorable and I admire you as a fellow mom! You convicted me about the no commenting thing ;) As moms we need encouragement more than anything and the blogging world should be a great place to get that.
:) Clara

Monique Grattan said... Best Blogger TipsBest Blogger Templates

Love the new look of the blog!

Erika said... Best Blogger TipsBest Blogger Templates

I agree… the no comments are kind of annoying! As for breast-feeding… I feel your pain! My almost 6-month old is sooo distracted lately, it makes nursing stressful and unpleasant. My son nursed until 14 months, but I feel like I may not last as long this time. I suppose we should look at the bright side 'We breast-fed for x amount of months!!', and have healthy babes who like a varied amount of foods:) Good luck!

Erin @ Love, the Campbells said... Best Blogger TipsBest Blogger Templates

I'm finally getting back into working out too and it's made me feel so much better! I hope you find the strength to push through the training for the marathon if you get in because I know you'll do great at it and will feel so satisfied in the end. I'm constantly comparing myself to other blogs too and feeling jealous or envious or not good enough...I used to feel it a lot more than I do now so whenever I feel those things, I just move on to the next blog or internet find for inspiration rather than negatively comparing myself. And I miss comments too...I feel like bloggers and anyone on social media these days don't comment nearly as much as they used to. It's a relationship that sadly seems like it's dying.
I hope Addilynn feels better very soon!

Sybil@PeaceitallTogether said... Best Blogger TipsBest Blogger Templates

Those Starburst jellybeans are a killer. What I need to do is stop buying them, then I would not be able to eat them! Seems simple enough. ;) Great job with the exercise...I am trying to get back into it, but only have an hour a day to myself and would rather spend it in quiet than working out. Hmmmm. Love you!!

muriel said... Best Blogger TipsBest Blogger Templates

My son was a champion at nursing. My daughter has been much more of a biter and it's so painful. I usually take her off and stop trying to nurse for awhile. When she's more hungry she bites less.

Jennifer @ Delightfully Noted said... Best Blogger TipsBest Blogger Templates

Argh, B still only has one tooth that is cutting through and just recently started biting. It makes me jump just thinking about it! Just think we are almost to the finish line (I plan on nursing till 1 too)Hope Addi feels better soon! B just got over a cold and it totally ruined that great sleeping I was telling you about!

Amanda said... Best Blogger TipsBest Blogger Templates

Your jelly bean confession makes me feel better :)
Also, I would loooove to run Chicago one day. It's on my race bucket list for sure!

maria said... Best Blogger TipsBest Blogger Templates

Well, if it makes you feel better, I ate half a bag of marshmallows last night even though I swore off candy for lent..oops..I'll just go ahead and blame it on the baby!
As for the nursing, I'm sure it's just a phase.
Micha was always a difficult nurser, not so much a biter, but just very distracted. But he definitely went through easier and more difficult phases!

Kristin said... Best Blogger TipsBest Blogger Templates

I've been reading/skimming blogs lately and rarely commenting. Like I wanted to tell you I liked the jeans you posted two days ago, but never got around to it. I'm not sure what is wrong with the blog world lately, but I'm not feeling it and things don't seem to be the same as they were a year ago.
I ate half a bag of Carrot Cake M&Ms so far this week. Blah.

Suzanne Bruce said... Best Blogger TipsBest Blogger Templates

Ok... Seriously.... It's teeth... Those suckers drain the life out of babies coming in... They are the cause of pain, crying, diarrhea,diaper rash, even dry skin..when she gets cranky like that give her se Tylenol... Her gums probably hurt and that's why she isn't nursing... Everything is teeth related..,,

firdaus hnr said... Best Blogger TipsBest Blogger Templates

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Renee Tribou said... Best Blogger TipsBest Blogger Templates

I am also a silent blog reader, but I'm working on breaking out of that habit. I want you to know that I ready your blog daily and I find you and your posts very relatable and I enjoy reading them. You have a good mix of family life, mommyhood, fashion, arts & crafts. Most of your posts really resonate with me. I'm actually thinking about starting my own blog but I'm scard :)

two birds said... Best Blogger TipsBest Blogger Templates

I think blog comments are down for everyone! The instant gratification of Instagram and Facebook is so much easier for people. and I thinks that takes away from blog comments. But we are definitely still reading! You are a strong, awesome woman and mama! Great job working out and eating healthy. And a cookie here and there is nothing to beat yourself up about! As far as nursing, I am sure the biting is just a phase. Good luck! You will figure everything out.

Amanda Hall said... Best Blogger TipsBest Blogger Templates

Hi! I'm a relatively new reader, but just wanted to tell you that my son started biting around 6-9 months and it was also around that time that I felt like nursing was a chore. It was wearing me down! However, he's now 21 months and still nursing! I will say that there are still times when I'm completely over it and have to remind myself that it won't last forever :) I try really hard to just live in the moment and enjoy it!


Katherine P said... Best Blogger TipsBest Blogger Templates

I didn't nurse but I know even with bottle feeding we had feeding issues. He seemed to go through phases when he didn't want to eat or didn't want to stop eating or was just out of sorts in general with the whole food thing. I'm half convinced that working out is the fix for the majority of mood and stress issues! Good luck and don't bee so hard on yourself!

TheTinyHeart said... Best Blogger TipsBest Blogger Templates

I SO admire that you ran a marathon and you're considering doing another one! I can barely run down the block without dying :)

I hope Addilyn feels better!

The Tiny Heart

Sarah said... Best Blogger TipsBest Blogger Templates

oh the biting while nursing is the WORST! When that happened to me I tried everything, telling him in a stern voice that it hurt, yelping in pain, nothing worked until, when he did bite, I wouldn't react, just calming put him down on the floor and walk away without saying anything. Then a minute later I would come back say are you doing biting me? Ready to eat? Then I would pick him up and try again, repeat cycle as many times as necessary. It only took 1 night of doing that for him to get it. I also stopping watching tv and doing other things while he nursed and just paid attention to him, that seemed to help too, cause if it looked like he was going to bite I would pull him off before it happened. Before I didn't really pay attention and got bite too many times.

You are an awesome Mom and back in the day, I would literally eat half a pan of brownies, when my husband got home and saw how many brownies were gone, he would say, rough day huh?

Also maybe try joining a mom's work out group like Stroller Strides? Let's you get a good workout and be around other mom's who want to get into shape. I know some of the mom's in my SS group trained together for a half.

Denise said... Best Blogger TipsBest Blogger Templates

You are totally awesome.

Jessica said... Best Blogger TipsBest Blogger Templates

Katie - You're doing great! Babies go through stages when nursing. If something's bothering her, nursing can take a hit. She could be teething on top of being sick. Give it some time and be persistent. You will both get through it.

Lori said... Best Blogger TipsBest Blogger Templates

You're one of my favorite bloggers, I always read, but don't always have time to comment. Yay for eating healthier! I just try to not buy those guilty pleasures. I'm the type that will eat the whole bag of xyz just so it's not in the house anymore. Or the whole pan of brownies...haha!
My daughter bit me a couple times around that age too...I think it scared the milk away because I dried up soon after. Heehee :-) Good luck!!

Brianne Bracco said... Best Blogger TipsBest Blogger Templates

You are truly amazing my friend!!! I understand how second guessing what we do can wear on us some days, but don't ever for a second doubt your strength or your ability to continue to inspire people who visit here everyday! <3

Amber Elliott said... Best Blogger TipsBest Blogger Templates

Just being completely honest... But (for me) I find that I comment on more blogs where bloggers reply back. Maybe I am too Southern but it's kind of like speaking to someone and they don't speak back? Just my honest thoughts, hope it doesn't come off rude. I am still new to all this and I know time doesn't always allow. Love your blog, always read and you sound like a super sweet Mama. :-)

Pamela said... Best Blogger TipsBest Blogger Templates

I don't always comment, but I def read! ;)

Morgan McRory said... Best Blogger TipsBest Blogger Templates

I'm a new reader here and this post is SO relatable to me. I didn't take the time to see if others had already said what I'm going to say, but some repeat advice never hurts, right?
As for biting, I read SO much about how your baby shouldn't bite, how moms would take them off and say "No bite!" and set them down for a minute or poke their cheek or flick their mouths. NONE OF IT WORKED FOR ME.
My son was a biting machine and every time I would tell him not to bite he would laugh at me and go in for another nibble. Horrid!
But! I noticed he only did it when he was cutting teeth. Once they cut he'd be fine until the next one came in. A little hope, I suppose.
He was also a wiggle worm and wouldn't hold still for feedings for very long for most of his life.
Now he's a year and I'm starting to wean and IT IS SO HARD! I don't want to stop! I think he's also realized what's going on and he'll cry and cry and cry until I nurse him. Won't take a bottle, won't take solids. Just wants to nurse. So it might be better for weaning if she still tries to squirm out of your lap.

Jessica said... Best Blogger TipsBest Blogger Templates

aww poor baby! I hope that she feels better soon and that you both start to like nursing again!

The Life of Poole said... Best Blogger TipsBest Blogger Templates

Run the marathon! I sometimes feel so guilty working out, I've even called my husband on the way to the gym to tell him I'm turning around and he tells me I'm crazy! But I know it makes me feel better about myself which in turn makes me a better mom. Finn went through a biting stage and he thought it was funny when I would shriek - thankfully/luckily it has stopped now that his teeth have come through - at least for the most part. And FYI I read your blog everyday - usually while pumping at work hence the no commenting, although I always tell myself I will go home and comment and then life gets in the way.
p.s. if you get into Chicago we should virtually train since my half marathon is around the same date!

Elegance and Mommyhood said... Best Blogger TipsBest Blogger Templates

So good for you for having such discipline. The fact that you even signed up to run is amazing to me.

I have experienced very little biting with Vivian. But she has always loved being nursed. It is by far her most comfort, nurturing time. I am sure it will pass. Keep on nursing her. It is good for the baby and for you, too.