Not another mile

I forgot how there are so many lessons you can learn through running.  I think the last ten months I've been so caught up in my new role as a mom and really as not much else, that I've forgotten that there are things to learn and realizations that can come from something other than motherhood.  

My official marathon training doesn't start until next week but the first long run is six miles, and my very out of shape self has been trying to work up to be ready for that.  When I did the marathon two other times I was already in decent shape and the six miles to start didn't seem so daunting.  In the past few weeks I've done five miles twice and it's been pretty hard.  

But to be honest each run has been pretty hard.  I remember running three miles, or even eight during the training before and it feeling relatively easy.  I know I am only at the start but each run has been a battle already. Physically and mentally.  I've said before that I think running a marathon is just as much, if not more of a mental challenge than it is a physical one.  I think this time the balance between the physical challenge and mental challenge will be much more equal.  

The thing is though that no matter how many miles I've done, two, three, four or five, it's been hard.  And I feel like I couldn't run another mile.  When I'm done with five I get discouraged thinking there is no way I could do 26.  But I've finished three and felt the exact same way.  I think if I have it set in my head how much I'm going to run, I feel done and exhausted when I get there. 

I think that is so true with things in life too.  Some days feel really hard.  Often I feel like a baby thinking about how I'm exhausted after a day with Addilyn when I know there are so many others with more kids, crazier lives and that I shouldn't feel tired or overwhelmed.  But this is what I know and some days are hard. 

I think often you feel maxed out with whatever circumstances or challenges you've been given.  Being one kid or four kids, two miles or ten.  Which is a testament that God isn't going to give you more than you can handle.  I can't imagine having twins, but I know that if I did I'd figure it out and we would survive just fine.  I also can't imagine if Chris traveled all the time for work but I know again, we would figure it out and would find joy in the circumstances we've been given.  

My personality is always wanting to plan ahead and think about what is coming next.  How will we handle finances if Chris loses more clients?  Or what will I do about work if we aren't making enough money?  How am I possibly going to run 26.2 miles in four and half months?  

I want to have a better mindset of taking life, stress and running as a day by day, run by run process.  Today I am handling what I've been given just fine and I know I can continue to do so.  Just like if I can beat five miles today, even though I'm a sweaty, winded mess, I'll be able to beat 6 miles next week and then 7 the week after.   

Day by day.  Run by run.