Niagara

Well it's been almost a month since our vacation and I am just now getting to editing our pictures.  I took pictures with only my phone on our trip and it's such a pain to get them onto my computer, compared to sticking in my camera card.  Plus days when we see one of the most beautiful landforms, I'm wishing I would've had my real camera.  It's one of those things that is just crazy to even comprehend how God made something that big and loud and beautiful.  It's breathtaking to watch it, and kind of scary to stand next to it.  

I miss our vacation and want to go back.  I'm determined to go through the rest of my pictures this weekend and share more of our week in Canada.  Hope you're all enjoying your weekend!

Tomorrow

 

Thank you so much for your encouraging and sweet words after my post last week.  We're headed to the hospital tomorrow morning for a few tests for Addilyn.  I'm dreading them because I know she'll just scream and cry during them.  Chris was out of town at the beginning of the week, Addilyn has had a nasty cold, plus got hand, foot and mouth disease on top of it.  I have felt tired, overwhelmed and anxious.  I am so ready for this week to be over.  To have negative test results and know that our little girl is just little and gets colds easily.  
I have been comforted and encouraged so many times through this online community and have seen many prayers answered, the biggest being our Addilyn Jane.  So please pray for tomorrow to go quickly, for Addilyn to take the tests like a champ, for peace for myself and healthy results.  
Thank you over and over.  

Things that make me do this . . .

Ruining a dessert.  Like forgetting the flour in a whole batch of cookies.  

When a customer service rep won't return or exchange something or understand the perfectly sensical thing I'm asking.  

When Addilyn takes a 25 minute nap or wakes up at 6:00 for the day.  Why does 6 seem worlds earlier than 6:30? 

Ordering something online and it not fitting.  

Taking out the laundry and finding a shirt that has shrunk or inherited a mysterious stain.  

When our cat pees somewhere besides the litter box. 

When I lose followers on social media. 

Chris saying he is "so" sick. 

Too bad I don't look nearly as cute when I cry.  Now tell me things that make you irrational cry? 

In Rotation

tee, vest & shorts: old navy   necklace: groopdealz   sandals: loft   sunglasses: kohls

After my new found love for my denim vest, I've resorted to putting a vest over every outfit and immediately feeling like I'm wearing a "real" outfit.  At least I have another vest to rotate.  It's a shame I didn't figure this out earlier in the summer because I do feel like it makes my normal jean shorts and tee look much more put together.  And still just as comfortable.  

Look like a runner

This shop has been compensated by Collective Bias, Inc. and its advertiser. All opinions are mine alone. #BalanceRewards #CollectiveBias

Apologies if you're getting sick of marathon type posts.  A month and half left and I'm pretty sure I won't be writing about a marathon for a long time.  If I mention thinking about doing it again stop me please.  I am not running another marathon for a very long time.  
Getting started.  As long as it works out with Chris' schedule, I run first thing in the morning.  We're getting to the point where training is taking up so much time.  The midweek runs are up to 9 miles, which is an hour and a half to me.  Weekends up to 16, which means almost three hours of running. The time commitment is huge and it's starting to take more and more motivation.  I can't not think about what I'd rather be doing like watching tv, reading, or just sitting for that long.  I've been tempted to run to dunkin donuts and just sit there for two hours instead.  The hardest part is getting started, which is why I like to get it over at the beginning of the day.  

Eating and Drinking.  I don't remember having this problem when I trained for the marathon last time.  I know I'm not old, but I honestly think the 5 years older is making a difference.  I can't seem to find the right things to eat and right amount of water to drink, before, during and after.  I either feel starving and thirsty or sick to my stomach from eating or drinking too much.  Please share your pre race meals with me!  While never a big fan of gatorade and nutrition bars before, I think that these may have helped me after my last long run.  
Looking like a runner. For the first many many weeks of running I honestly felt like I looked like I was going to die when I was running.  I'm surprised multiple cars didn't pull over and ask if I needed help.  After a month or so I finally started to feel like a runner.  There's an extra confidence and motivation that comes when you feel like you look the part.  My stride gets bigger, I move a little faster, and I'm happier when I remind myself to look like a runner.  Having cute workout clothes makes this easier! 
Tracking your goals.  Clearly I have a goal in mind, but once the marathon is over I don't want to lose all the running and training.  It's easy to be burnt out and I will definitely be taking some time off running, but I want a new goal, as it really helps me to stay motivated.  The last two marathons I was so sick of running that I didn't for so long and it's amazing how quickly you get out of running shape.  I don't want this to happen again, so I plan on keeping up to at least five or so miles frequently.  

Keeping track of your progress is so motivating.  When I passed 100 miles, and then 200 miles it's a rewarding feeling.  I've been logging my runs and following the hal higdon training program, but I recently was told about the new Walgreens phone app.  First of all they have all kinds of sections, like shopping list, prescription refill app, coupons, scanner (my favorite) and even an pharmacy chat. Makes it pretty convenient to ask about dosage for over the counter medicine or other related questions.  But they also have a place where you can log your daily physical activity.  The healthy choices feature is part of the Balance Rewards program and app, where you can set your goals, track your progress and log your activities, which will be great once I'm done logging my runs in my training app. 

#BalanceRewards #CollectiveBias

And a bonus is that you can get balance reward points for logging your goals, which means I started logging my runs here too.  When I logged into my account I was less than 1,000 points away from my next reward. After logging my runs for the next week I reached 5,000 points and earned $5 off my next purchase.  Which means free gatorade and power bars. (Or nail polish, make up or candy.  It's all about balance right?)  You can also log sleep hours (no points for moms with new babies in that category, right?), weigh ins, and heart rate.  Get 250 points for downloading the app, and then another 250 for setting your first health goal.  Check out other ways to earn points here.  

It's super convenient to have it on your phone.  I am a Balance Reward member but have no idea where my card is, but now I have it in the app on my phone.  Makes it super easy to look up coupons, ads and scan my reward card when I headed to the one down the street, the day before my long run to buy gatorade and power bars.  
After the run. There are so many lessons I've learned through running.  The biggest I think is to take it day by day and be proud of your accomplishments.  It's easy for me to think ahead and wonder how I'll finish longer runs, when I struggle with the milage for that day.  It's easy to be discouraged when I run takes me longer than I hoped or when I felt slow and out of breath.  But I know it's so important to feel proud and celebrate my accomplishments.  And reward myself with a little ice cream too. 

When you let it in . . .

 

It's a slippery slippery slope when you start letting anxiety creep in.  
We had Addilyn's one year check up (a month late) last week.  We had some worries earlier on with her weight, but chalked it up to her being pretty sick around six months, throwing up often and not eating a lot because of it.  For a month or so I got pretty anal about her eating, offering her food all the time and weighing her on our scale.  My worries were subsided when we went in for a weight check six weeks later and she gained a little weight.  I decided I was making myself crazy and worked hard to not be worried about it.  
So I was surprised at her appointment when she had hardly gained any weight the last three months and has continued to drop in percentile over the last six months.  I know the doctor is just trying to cover her basis, but that combined with a pretty constant nightly cough, she brought up some scary causes and seemed more concerned than I had expected.  She wants us to do a few tests to get the scary stuff out of the way and check for other more common things as well.  
I know the chances of her having a serious disease are so slim, but to put that thought in my mind is terrifying. When I let a heavy, anxious thought creep in, it's so hard for me to fight off others. The next day I was running and was worrying about the what ifs, and the thoughts of something being wrong with Addilyn.  Although nothing to do with it, I started thinking about our scary incident when Addilyn passed out after falling a month ago.  It took awhile for me to get that image out of my mind, but there it was back again. Over and over.  
In that moment I was so aware of how Satan tries to sneak his way into my thoughts.  To make me feel scared of the future, doubt God's protection and feel anxious.  I don't think there is anything wrong with being nervous or wanting to find out answers and feeling unsettled.  I think those are the times that God uses circumstances to draw us closer to him.  But I do think it's wrong when you let your worry be stronger than your trust for God.  I struggle with letting anxiety take over my thoughts. I forget God's truths and feel overwhelmed with worst case scenarios.  
It was a reminder that I need to cover myself with God's truths.  I want to be able to fight off my worries with His word and protect myself from going down that slippery slope of fear and anxiety.  Over and over again I've seen God answer my prayers, calm my worries and take care of my family.  And I know he will continue to do so over and over.  

I told you so

 

shorts: loft   tank top: old navy   vest: justfab 

I told you I wanted to wear this vest all the time and I think I wore it three days out of four last week.  

Speaking of things I want, I wish the marathon was next week instead of two months from now.  

I'd also like to buy at least one thing on groopdealz a day. 

I wish a cold iced coffee would show up on my doorstep the minute after I put Addilyn down for her afternoon nap so I could drink it and watch another episode of Nashville on Netflix.  

I'd like my vacation pictures to edit themselves and write a good post about how much fun it was and how much I miss spending all that time with my family. 

I'd like these cookies to disappear from my kitchen so I wouldn't eat four a day until they were gone.  

I also wish Chris would stop eating so ridiculously loud while sitting next to me right now.  And that I could do a better job multitasking because I have no idea what is going on in the show that we are watching.  

Training with Mama

Addilyn's onesie: Courtney Bock Designs

56 days left until the big day.  Part of me wishes it was next weekend, as at this point I know I could finish even if it meant I was more sore and slower than I'd be with two more months of training.  But I know the training is a much bigger process and commitment than the race itself.  Motivation is the biggest battle, as some days it takes a whole lot to get myself out on a run.  

Here's few things that motivate me lately . . . 

Breaking up my run into smaller chunks mentally.  For my 15 mile run I tell myself I can do 5 miles. After that I get a drink of water and tell myself I can do five more.  And then five more after that.  It is seriously more a mental game than physical for much of the run.  I'm well aware I'm running 15 miles, but by only thinking of five at a time, it feels much more attainable.  

Not thinking passed today.  My biggest struggle is thinking, how could I run another mile?  Whether it's after running five or fifteen, I feel like I can't do more than my given milage.  It's hard not to think about the next week's run and almost impossible to not think about the race day, but I try hard to think about just getting through this run and not another one.

This cute girl.  I know that she will not remember a thing from these months of training or from the marathon day itself.  She won't remember the mornings I was gone running or probably won't be interested in watching the race itself.  But she will remember pictures from the day and you better believe I will be telling her about how her mama worked hard to reach her goal and ran a marathon when she was one.

This adorable onesie is pretty good motivation too.  If I'm going to dress Addilyn in it, I sure as better finish those 26.2 miles.  Her onesie is from Courtney Block Designs, an adorable monogram shop that has all kinds of cute things from jewelry to kids backpacks and pjs and my favorite monogram lace sweatshirt (which is going on my birthday list).  Courtney has been wonderful to work with and she's offering 15% your order using the code LAURENFORLAUREN15.  If I could only make up my mind on a color, I would have already purchased this monogrammed baseball hat.

I can't wait to see her sweet face waiting for me at the finish line, wearing this onesie.  Even more so, I can't wait for the day when Addilyn wants to go on a run with me or when we can cross a finish line together.  She is pretty good motivation.    

The everyday tee

tee & sandals : old navy  shorts: white plum 

I should be embarrassed at the amount of v neck tees I have.  This one is from Old Navy and is their boyfriend vintage tee and is the most comfortable shirt I own.  
When I was 16 weeks pregnant I flew out to California for my grandpa's funeral.  I was on the phone with my sister before I left and we were talking about what clothes to pack for the long weekend.  I felt far more fat than pregnant looking and didn't know what to wear to the funeral, as nothing fit right.  I was telling Lauren that I was looking and looking for this grey v-neck t-shirt because I wanted to wear it with my black maxi skirt to the funeral.  I was trying to convince her that it was dressy enough to wear to the funeral.  She rightfully did not agree.  
Thank goodness I didn't find it because it probably would've been a bad choice.  I'll blame that one on pregnancy brain?  Maybe not appropriate for a funeral, but pretty sure every other day acceptable.  
And these shorts are the comfiest shorts.  So basically I'm wearing pajamas.  

 

I finally met a blogging friend!

Don't mind the tongue.  We make great first impressions.  And if that didn't do it, maybe the fact that Addilyn and I both smelled like poop thanks to the worst diaper blow out in the car on the way, which resulted in some side of the road, two person clean up.  

But thankfully Liz and Emma didn't seem to care.  I've followed Liz and her blog since I started blogging. We got pregnant around the same time, although Liz's baby girl was born quite early and spent a long time in the NICU.  I remember praying for Emma quite often, as I couldn't imagine going through that, especially after spending only one night home from the hospital without Addilyn.  Liz is such an amazing example of trusting in God's protection and plan.  Reading her posts and getting to know her has been an encouragement to me and my own walk with God.  

(And p.s.  I'm jealous of how cute she looks in hats.)

I had no plans of meeting Liz on our family vacation and didn't even know I'd be close to her until she messaged me when I posted a picture of us at the airport.  So Chris, Addilyn and I drove back to Buffalo, NY during the week and I got to meet her and Emma (and Liz's sweet friend Brittany) for lunch.  

And it was wonderful.  When I got home my mom asked if it was awkward or if we ran out of things to talk about.  Not at all.  I'm pretty confident we could spend all day together and have plenty to talk about.  I wish weren't so far away and am working on getting Liz and Emma to make a trip out to Chicago sometime! 

Now I can't lie and tell you I didn't start thinking on the way home about what dumb things I might have said, or if I was a good listener or made a good impression.  But Liz texted me and said she had a great time, so let's hope she wasn't lying. 

Sharing your life on the internet is a little weird at times.  Counting people you've never met as real friends seems strange.  But what a blessing to connect with others that are in the same stage as you, to pray for and encourage each other and then to get to meet, hug and have your sweet girls meet too.  

Thanks Liz for driving to meet us!  We LOVED it.  

Be Still

tee: be still clothing company     shorts: old navy   sandals: discovery 

It's rare for me to spend any significant money on a t-shirt.  And by significant I mean more than $7. After wanting it for a long time, I finally bought this baseball tee and long for cooler weather so I can wear it.  I got this tee when I purchased the other and I love it.  My word for this year is rest and sadly I've let a good part of the year go bad without striving to work on it.  

A lot of needing to rest requires being still in God's presence, resting in knowing that He is in control.  Being still in more moments during the day and not trying to fill every second with noise and busyness.  Besides being super comfy, I love the reminder that this shirt gives me to work on my goal for this year and to spend more time being quiet and still before the Lord.