. . . for Lauren and Lauren: Joy in the Messy Moments

December 9, 2015

Joy in the Messy Moments

Last Thursday was a bad day.  Addi woke up with a fever, bad cough and runny nose.  We had to cancel our morning plans with a friend and she was definitely not herself.  I did not mind the snuggles and extra tv watching and we had a decent morning considering.  But after a bad coughing fit ruined her nap, the rest of the afternoon was a mess.  She was so crabby and clearly not feeling well.  My sister's whole family made trips to the doctor that day and were all positive for strep. With plans this weekend, I decided to take Addi.  Her doctor didn't have openings so we went to a Walgreens clinic.  I naively assumed we wouldn't have to wait long, so when the lady told me it would be an hour and a half I started crying.  Both Addi and I were in sweats/pajamas, no make up, not showered and I just stood there crying.  I said we'd be back, although I felt embarrassed to return. Addi was super fussy and cried most of the car ride, there and back and there again.  

Thankfully she pulled it together for the most part when we saw the doctor, minus the throat swabbing part.  She did test positive, which I was almost relieved after two hours of waiting.  Then the medicine wasn't ready and it took forever to get home.  We got home and gave her medicine, only to have her cough so much she threw up ten minutes later.  Bedtime took awhile and then she woke up two hours later coughing and threw up again.  

Let's just say I was a crabby, tired, emotional mess.  Chris and I took turns sitting with her in her rocking chair, singing, talking, trying to get her to relax and go to sleep.  She asked me if she could say hi to her baby brother, lifted up my shirt and put her arms around my belly, resting her head on me.  She does this quite often but just laid there for awhile while I sang.  It was just so sweet.  Here I was rocking my toddler, who's hugging my baby boy.  

Motherhood is so not easy.  It's tiring, and messy.  (Did I mention that I stepped in her throw up the second time?).  But I am learning that there are these little pieces of joy in those hard moments.  The day sucked and I was so ready to be in bed and be done for the day.  But that is not motherhood. Motherhood is rocking a sick baby to sleep, cleaning up throw up and getting little sleep.  And I wanted for this for a long time and felt thankful in that moment that this was my job.  To take care of my babies.  Good days and bad days.  Any hour of the day.  

It may just be ten minutes in the string of a long 24 hours, but it was ten minutes that made me so thankful for my baby girl.  Thankful for my job as a mama and I wouldn't trade it for anything.  

I should add that during this moment, I was sure that Addilyn was asleep and that I'd cherish this sweet moment of rocking my sick girl to sleep, then laying her in her crib.  To which she popped up and loudly said laughing, "You stepped in my throw up?!"  

Thank God for those funny moments too.  

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