Last Thursday

Sometimes it's hard to understand why God has us go through certain things in life.  Why he has us go through things that make us worry.  Hard things that make us lose sleep, cry or sick to our stomach.  
Last week was one of those weeks for me.  We took Addilyn for a few tests Thursday morning and I was anxious to hear back.  We thankfully got a call later that night that everything came back normal.  I can't tell you how grateful I felt and still feel.  (Now we're looking at much less scary things for the case of her low weight gain and cough.) 
I don't think we always know why God has us experience certain things or go through trials.  But I think maybe a big reason God had us go through this is for me to realize again the power of prayer and the amount of people I have in my life that love us and pray for us.  There have been many times in my life where I've felt lonely and like I don't have deep, meaningful friendships.  My biggest struggles in middle school, high school and even some college years were with friends.  Today I feel incredibly blessed with friendships.  I sent out lots of texts or emails letting my friends know about Addilyn's tests the next day.  I shared about it on this blog and on my facebook page.  All of the comments, texts and emails I got made me feel so loved and cared for.  After I got the call from the nurse I realized how many people I had to text to tell them the news and thank them for praying and I just felt so blessed.  
I felt anxious the night before and on our drive to the hospital.  But as we were going through the tests I felt much more peace than I thought I would.  I think part of that is realizing that if I a nervous mess or crying, Addilyn would do so much worse.  But I know the biggest part of that is that God answered my prayers and everyone elses.  
There's times I debate about my blog.  I post an outfit photo and get a handful of comments and think "eh. Is this worth it?" There's times I leave after hanging out with friends and second guess things I said or wonder what others think about me.    But then.  I share my heart and a concern for Addilyn and get encouragement and prayer and support and I am beyond thankful for this community and the community in my daily life.  
So hello sappiness post.  But I mean it will all my heart.  I got teary eyed after I put Addilyn to bed Thursday night.  Feeling so relieved about her negative tests.  And feeling beyond grateful for this season of life I am in where I feel full of friendships.  Friendships in my day to day life and friendships through this online community.  
Thank you.