Keeping it real
The other day I read a friend's status that said that her 21 month old just counted to ten. Immediately I kind of panicked and right away asked, "Addi can you count? One, two, three?" To which she replied "One . . . one . . ONE!!!!" Which is a step above saying donut, which happens to be her favorite answer to all questions.
I knew the day would come when I'd replace the struggle of not comparing Addilyn's sleeping habits to everyone else with the struggle of not comparing her other abilities. It's starting to happen, and I want to be so conscious of it because I know comparison of any form leaves you feeling anxious, unhappy and neglecting to appreciate what you have.
I worry that she doesn't love reading enough or know how to entertain herself for more than a minute at a time. I read of other moms walking by their toddler's room to see them reading books in their chairs. Wait. What? The times I walk away from Addilyn in her room she's trying to crawl up the railings of her crib or body surf on the rocking ottoman. But much more likely she chasing me, whining mama because she can't stand not being right on top of me all the time.
I imagine this is a battle that every mom feels in one way or another, probably their entire parenthood. But I know that if I'm not mindful of it, I'll waste far too much time worrying if I'm doing things right, and forget that every kid is so different and that I have a daughter that is happy and loved. I could practice numbers with Addilyn until she's blue in the face right now and she could respond with donut every single time. Or answer dog poop, which was her favorite phrase on repeat yesterday.
And when it comes down to it, I think a majority of those things are not in my control. Addilyn has amazing balance and is really coordinated. I didn't do a thing to teach that. She also does not eat a lot, and I think I've done a decent job offering her different and healthy foods, yet she rarely eats them. Again, not a ton I can do about that, except keep trying.
Sometimes I wish everyone would stop posting pictures of their healthy food and independent toddlers. One of the reasons I thoroughly appreciate this thread on instagram because that's real life.
So here's to keeping it real. I worry that my toddler isn't independent and eats too many sweets. That we probably watch more tv than we should, and the idea of doing any activity that involves paint or shaving cream makes me want to cringe. And that I don't ever, ever miss her when she is sleeping.
13 comments:
Ha! My little one just turned 20 months today and I am so with you on this! He doesn't even repeat words, so I wouldn't even get him to say one. ;-) And, although it's hard, I do try not to get too into the comparison game. I have heard that girls do things before boys a lot of the time anyways, and I have no idea if that's really true, but I put that on repeat in my head and know that he'll do it in his own time. Addy is adorable!
Skye had about seven major meltdowns today...many in public. I usually hand her my phone when that happens, and I'm sure people think I'm the worst mother. And of course, she has the public meltdowns around other toddlers that are perfectly behaved, and naturally more easy going by nature. I'm learning to just be patient and appreciate Skye for exactly who she is - meltdowns and all!
I love your honesty...and that Addilyn responds with donut and dog poop! Haha. Everyone is different thank God or this life would be pretty boring. You're doing great!!!
Bwhahaaaaa, I just laughed my head off at dog poop. I've been home with Lydia all week (it's spring break) and I definitely don't miss her while she's sleeping....that's MY time! You're an awesome mom my friend!
I feel like Finn and Addi are very similar! Finn would never sit by himself for long and has to be right next to us at pretty much all times. He's a very laid back toddler compared to most but no way would he just sit there and play for an extended period of time. My cousin's son was speaking full, intelligent, understandable sentences by 2 and of course I feel like Finn is nowhere near that. Our full sentences are "what's that?" "where did daddy go?" and maybe a few others but nothing lengthy. However, Finn has the motor skills of a 2.5 year old at 20 months and is super sweet and doesn't hit and is very kind. It's so hard not to compare and I try not to since I never want him to compare himself to others but boy do I catch myself doing it often. I still want to reply to your other email you sent - I've just been busy starting a new job but I promise I will get back to you soon! Have an amazing Easter :)
But sometimes healthy food and independent toddlers IS someone's real life. And maybe they look at other Instagram feeds and wish something else for their child. I always say that just because someone else's life is good, that doesn't mean yours is bad. You're a good mom and she's a good kid!
Her response of "donuts" just makes me love her (and you!) even more. She's truly so smart and you're SUCH a good momma!!! Thank you for your honesty. Comparison is so easy to creep into our lives but we have to just dismiss it and be happy with where we are :)
Preach girl. She's perfect just the way she is.. They only get to be little once!
I don't have kids yet, but I can already see this happening when we do because I do it with myself far too often. I've cut back on it a lot and I can only hope that I can think about it as clearly as you do when we're in that situation. PS - she is adorable :)
Love your honesty! I worry about the same things but I'm think that's what all moms go through. I think you are right, moms should post the real life stuff that goes on, like the tantrums my son throws or the fact that he won't eat haha!
I'm starting comparisons early. I'm already freaking out because I haven't felt Baby Bum kicking yet and other friends due around the same time as me have! We're so dumb sometimes. All people are different, and you're doing a great job :)
this is a great post! i am SURE lots of moms go through this sale stuff!! i can't imagine when i get there. :) i will definitely be looking to everyone else for a little guidance though so this is great. i am SURE you're doing a wonderful job no matter how many sweets and TV she's watching. she looks chocolately and happy!
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