The other day I read a friend's status that said that her 21 month old just counted to ten. Immediately I kind of panicked and right away asked, "Addi can you count? One, two, three?" To which she replied "One . . . one . . ONE!!!!" Which is a step above saying donut, which happens to be her favorite answer to all questions.
I knew the day would come when I'd replace the struggle of not comparing Addilyn's sleeping habits to everyone else with the struggle of not comparing her other abilities. It's starting to happen, and I want to be so conscious of it because I know comparison of any form leaves you feeling anxious, unhappy and neglecting to appreciate what you have.
I worry that she doesn't love reading enough or know how to entertain herself for more than a minute at a time. I read of other moms walking by their toddler's room to see them reading books in their chairs. Wait. What? The times I walk away from Addilyn in her room she's trying to crawl up the railings of her crib or body surf on the rocking ottoman. But much more likely she chasing me, whining mama because she can't stand not being right on top of me all the time.
I imagine this is a battle that every mom feels in one way or another, probably their entire parenthood. But I know that if I'm not mindful of it, I'll waste far too much time worrying if I'm doing things right, and forget that every kid is so different and that I have a daughter that is happy and loved. I could practice numbers with Addilyn until she's blue in the face right now and she could respond with donut every single time. Or answer dog poop, which was her favorite phrase on repeat yesterday.
And when it comes down to it, I think a majority of those things are not in my control. Addilyn has amazing balance and is really coordinated. I didn't do a thing to teach that. She also does not eat a lot, and I think I've done a decent job offering her different and healthy foods, yet she rarely eats them. Again, not a ton I can do about that, except keep trying.
Sometimes I wish everyone would stop posting pictures of their healthy food and independent toddlers. One of the reasons I thoroughly appreciate this thread on instagram because that's real life.
So here's to keeping it real. I worry that my toddler isn't independent and eats too many sweets. That we probably watch more tv than we should, and the idea of doing any activity that involves paint or shaving cream makes me want to cringe. And that I don't ever, ever miss her when she is sleeping.