. . . for Lauren and Lauren: My first . . . .

May 8, 2014

My first . . . .


I know there will be a slew of mother's day posts around this time.  And they probably all start to sound similar, but I feel like I couldn't let my first Mother's Day pass without writing about. 


There are still moments quite often where I have a hard time believing that I really am a mom.  Sometimes I get teary eyed looking at Addilyn and knowing that I am her mom.  That I get to be that role to her forever. I have a hard time not crying looking at pictures of the day she was born, thinking about how blessed we are to be given her.  I knew that when we had a baby I would love her more than I could express.  But I truly did not know that there wouldn't be words to explain how much I really do love her. 

For my birthday this year my dad wrote in the card, "Now that you're a mom you have an idea of how much we love you."  And I thought that was such a perfect thing to say.  


I know how lucky I am to be given the role of motherhood.  While scary and tiring at times, I know it is a gift.  A gift to grow our family and have the opportunity to raise a daughter.  To teach her to love the Lord and love others.  To get to take care of her when she's sick and to celebrate when she takes her first step. To have witnessed her first smile and first giggle.  A gift to be able to someday hear her call me "mama" and run to me when she's hurt.  I am so grateful that God gave me this gift.  

There have been days the last ten months were I think about life before Addilyn.  I think about how I thought my life was overwhelming, busy and tiring.  I look back and somedays think about how nice it would be to have have one of those days back.  To go grocery shopping when it was the best time for me, take a nap or go for a run and watch show after show.  Even to rush from place to place without worrying about a baby's schedule or needs.  Somedays that sounds really nice.  


But I've learned quickly that the gift of motherhood also comes with the lesson of selflessness and learning to put someone else's needs before yours.  While there have been really tiring moments and days, I know that before Addilyn my heart was constantly longing for a baby.  Longing for the times when my days and time weren't my own.  When I was up in the middle of the night because I was feeding my baby.  So while this season is so different than before, I couldn't be happier that we are in it.  And although harder than before, it is more rewarding and amazing.  

Motherhood has come with more challenges than I expected, but it also come with more blessings and love than I knew possible and I am so so thankful. 


I also think about all those that are longing to be moms.  I think about the pain that comes with this day of celebrating moms and so badly wishing to be a mom but not knowing when or if that will happen.  The picture after picture on social media or posts reflecting on motherhood, and the emotional feelings that come with seeing them.  So today I am beyond thankful that I am able to celebrate my first year of motherhood, and am praying for those that are waiting for theirs.  


Addilyn Jane.  Thank you for making me a mama.  Thank you for being the best gift I've ever been given. You have no idea how lucky you make me feel.  I love you more than you can even imagine. 


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17 comments:

The Lady Okie said... Best Blogger TipsBest Blogger Templates

That last picture is awesome. Happy first Mother's Day!

Simply LKJ said... Best Blogger TipsBest Blogger Templates

So sweet ! Happy first Mother's Day!

Jackie @ Our Nashville Life said... Best Blogger TipsBest Blogger Templates

Aww. That was such a sweet thing of your dad to write. Happy first Mother's Day.

-Jackie
http://ournashvilleife.com

J and A said... Best Blogger TipsBest Blogger Templates

As always - beautiful post Katie. I feel very much the exact same way. Well said my friend. I am over the moon happy for you.

Megan C said... Best Blogger TipsBest Blogger Templates

Happy 1st Mother's Day! I feel the same way that you wrote in the opening paragraph. Every once in a while, it hits me that I am a mom and my little boy is mine!!

Kelly said... Best Blogger TipsBest Blogger Templates

Aww, this is beautiful! Happy Mother's Day and I will keep all those in my prayers who are hoping to become one soon!

Helene in Between said... Best Blogger TipsBest Blogger Templates

this has got to be one of my favorite posts from you. i am not a mom but can see how life changing it is through your words. how life changes so rapidly and fulfills you in so many ways to make it all worth it. happy mothers day to you!

Denise said... Best Blogger TipsBest Blogger Templates

Enjoy your first Mother's Day, love you.

maria said... Best Blogger TipsBest Blogger Templates

Beautiful, Katie! Happy Mothers Day! xo

Ginny MyNewFavoriteOutfit said... Best Blogger TipsBest Blogger Templates

Yay for your first Mother's Day!

Lindsay Ropella said... Best Blogger TipsBest Blogger Templates

What a beautiful post! Happy FIRST Mother's Day! <3

Brianne Bracco said... Best Blogger TipsBest Blogger Templates

So so sweet!!! Happy First Mother's day my beautiful friend! <3

Ashley said... Best Blogger TipsBest Blogger Templates

Perfectly written!! I'm sure this Mother's Day will be an emotional one for myself. A day I once dreaded like baby showers and now being able to celebrate it! My heart is soo full, yet soo heavy for those still waiting!!

Happy Mothers Day Katie!!

two birds said... Best Blogger TipsBest Blogger Templates

I love what your dad said...so true! Happy Mother's Day!!!!

Bethany said... Best Blogger TipsBest Blogger Templates

This is so sweet. Addilyn is the cutest little girl, and I love being able to share in all your motherhood adventures and cuteness!

Karen G said... Best Blogger TipsBest Blogger Templates

Beautifully written. Brought tears to my eyes. Happy 1st Mother's Day to you.

Oh how Lovely said... Best Blogger TipsBest Blogger Templates

that last photo is pure beautiful. I love how you brought to attention those women who haven't been given the opportunity to be a mom. I almost feel bad for writing posts about pregnancy and being a mom for fear that it'll make some friends saddened. But I know we can't feel that way. Our story is what it is and it's okay to share it. I do hope those women get the opportunity to mother a child one day, though.