. . . for Lauren and Lauren: Becoming "nothing"

March 1, 2015

Becoming "nothing"


Last week I went into my school and officially quit my teaching job.  I'm pretty sure most of you thought that has already happened, as I haven't taught for a year and half, but I was so lucky to have an extended maternity leave and had a job set for me in the Fall if I wanted to go back.  I would have loved if it was an option at my school to job share and work part time, but that isn't and I trust that God knew that and that being home with Addilyn full time is where I am supposed to be.  

While I knew that the chances of me returning were slim, there was a whole new realm of emotions when it became official.  Teaching was such a huge part of my life for six years.  The first few years of teaching I spent at least a few hours every weekend in my classroom, hours at home during the week and like most careers it defined a big part of who I was for those years.  I know that God made me to be a teacher.  While I wasn't always 100% confident I know I was a great teacher and loved it. 
 
My school is less than ten minutes from my house.  I worked there for six years and felt pretty comfortable and confident in my position.  I had my Masters plus some classes, I had worked my way up some on the pay scale and had excellent insurance.  All this to say, it's hard to give that up.  To leave a job that is hard to get into right now and not have any guarantee of going back into the teaching world.  

There are a lot of things I miss about teaching.  I miss reading aloud to students.  I miss making bulletin boards and posters, writing in a calendar, feeling organized and having a desk.  I miss funny kid stories.  I miss getting dressed everyday and talking with my teacher friends.  I miss feeling used and purposeful in that way.  Not to leave out giving up awesome insurance that allowed us to afford all of our fertility treatments and get pregnant with Addilyn.  There was almost this sick feeling in my stomach the few days before I went into school, knowing I'd be giving up all these things for a long period of time. Giving up somewhere I felt comfortable, confident and purposeful.  

 But the thought of being away from Addilyn everyday and missing her is greater than those things.  I don't want to miss the new funny things she says or the kisses I get during the day.  Singing to her before her naps or snuggling with her afterwards.  Playdates with friends and going to new places. 

While there's mixed emotions with giving up my teaching career, I am fully confident that God has me where I should be right now as a stay at home mom.  I'm so thankful that we are financially able to make that happen, and know that there are so many moms who would love to be in my place.  I don't want to take that for granted.  

When I was little someone asked me what I wanted to be when I grew up and I said "nothing.  Just like my mom."  Well I am officially doing that "nothing" and I am thrilled.  

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15 comments:

Haleigh said... Best Blogger TipsBest Blogger Templates

The day my mom signed away her teaching job she cried, but she knew that she wanted to do it to stay home with me. It's a hard, hard thing to do. I am so excited for the ways God is going to (continue) to use as Addilyn's mommy

Kelly said... Best Blogger TipsBest Blogger Templates

Congrats on the big decision!

xx Kelly
Sparkles and Shoes

Lindsay @ Pursuit of Pink said... Best Blogger TipsBest Blogger Templates

You were definitely made to be a teacher - just now you have a classroom with only one student. One very important and special student. Congrats on officially walking into this new chapter in your life. I am sure you were nervous leading up your quitting, but I agree with you 100% that God has you exactly where you are supposed to be!!!

Amy said... Best Blogger TipsBest Blogger Templates

Congrats girl! That must have been a really tough decision <3

Ashley said... Best Blogger TipsBest Blogger Templates

It is a really hard decision to make, but it is soo fulfilling! You will love it and likely second guess yourself for the first little while, but like you said Gos has a plan!! Good for you for making the decision that works best for you guys. I know when I quit my job I got a lot of grief from a lot of friends. A lot of people saying "must be nice" or what do you do all day? Sit around? Quitting my job allowed me to get pregnant within the month after quitting. And I am busier now that I was working. Congrats Katie!! These are the best days of your life!!

Carol Hines said... Best Blogger TipsBest Blogger Templates

That last paragraph is my favorite of all your blogs!

Sharlee said... Best Blogger TipsBest Blogger Templates

This is just so awesome...I, too, taught for six years and was full of ambition. I can so relate to so many of these feelings. I still have to work from home and I'm currently still looking, but it's something I'm putting my faith and trust in God with (which is super hard).

PolkaDottyPlace said... Best Blogger TipsBest Blogger Templates

Our teaching careers were very similar and I found myself in your shoes one year ago. I cried when I submitted my letter of resignation. Not because I was sad, but because I knew that chapter of my life was coming to a close.

I got misty eyed reading all of the things you loved about being in the classroom and the things you missed. I can relate to all of it - especially the part about knowing that being home with Addilyn was exactly where you were supposed to be right now. It's exciting to be in this phase of life together :)

Allison said... Best Blogger TipsBest Blogger Templates

This is beautifully written. As a former teacher myself I can totally relate to this!! Many blessings to you as you continue doing "nothing." Haha I just love that wording!!

two birds said... Best Blogger TipsBest Blogger Templates

Congratulations! It is a tough decision, especially if you have a career that you love so much. This is where you feel you should be right now and you are able to make it work and that is so great! That last bit made me laugh. Have fun doing "nothing"! Ha!

Simply LKJ said... Best Blogger TipsBest Blogger Templates

It is never easy to walk away from a career, but you are doing it temporarily...you have a choice to go back down the road if you should choose to. In the meantime, you are teaching. You have the most precious student ever! And believe me, the time will come all too soon when you will have more free time to either go back part time or even full time once she is in Kindergarten.

J and A said... Best Blogger TipsBest Blogger Templates

SO happy for you!!! What a big decision but it was a great one. Addilyn is so lucky to have you home with her! Nothing is the best job ever!! And you are so good at it already! :) Enjoy each day!!

Laura A said... Best Blogger TipsBest Blogger Templates

It's not an easy decision! I was in a different situation, but when I officially resigned my teaching position after 8 years it was really bittersweet even though I knew it was the best decision. It's been 2 years now and I came across my resignation letter on the computer the other night and had a little moment.

Megan C said... Best Blogger TipsBest Blogger Templates

I know how you feel, it is hard leaving a job you had been in for so long. I was a teacher as well and when my maternity leave was up, I went back. It was the hardest thing I did because I didn't want to leave my son. So after about two weeks back I made the final decision to not come back after the school year was done. Best decision ever! I haven't been home a full year yet but I am loving it. The first few months were hard and it took me a while to get into a good routine. I think you will love it and she will love having you home forever!! Congrats on the big decision!

Leslie Germain said... Best Blogger TipsBest Blogger Templates

Katie, I wanted to comment on this when you first posted but felt it important to come back. You will realize that this is the best choice you ever made. I left teaching to stay home with my daughter. That was 12 years ago. I have been so blessed and fortunate to share in my daughter and son's everyday adventures. I don't regret for one minute giving up my career. I hope you enjoy your time home and journey through motherhood as much as I did and still am. There is nothing like a stay at home mom!!! xo