. . . for Lauren and Lauren: Words of Wisdom

September 27, 2013

Words of Wisdom

I'm unbelievable excited to be off to spend a long weekend with this sweet niece and nephew, and the rest of my whole family.   This will be the first time my sister gets to spend time with Addilyn and I am so excited for her to be with her Aunt Laurens and cousins.   If you don't already follow me on instagram for pictures!

While I'm gone, today I have a sweet friend who is sharing some words of wisdom with me (and of course all of you). I love Preethi and her blog lace etc.  She's become one of my good blogging friends.  Plus she has adorable kids and a really cute sense of style. 

Hello, For Lauren & Lauren readers!  My name is Preethi, and I blog over at lace, etc. about style, vegetarian food, the occasional naptime-friendly DIY, and my generally-cute-but-occasionally-demonic kiddos (Nat, 2.5, and kina, 11 months).  Katie is one of my oldest blogging friends, and she is just one of the sweetest, most sincere & lovely people on these old Interwebs.  I count myself lucky that I've gotten to e-know her!

Ever the optimist, today I wanted to share some of my own personal mommy FAILS.  Inspiring, right? ;)  But you know what I do think?  I think that we moms are generally way too hard on ourselves.  Because we all fail.  Moms fail, dads fail, kiddos fail.  And our mistakes teach us to be better.  But you know?  I'm learning from each of them, and each of them has the very important role of actively teaching me to be a better mom every day.
So here are a few mommy fails with which I personally struggle, and what I'm learning from them:

1. YELLING: About a year ago, my son, Nat, started pretending to type on my laptop, even though he knew he wasn't supposed to play with it.  As I went to stop him, I realized I was too late - he'd somehow broken the command key so that it was permanently pushed down.  For those of you with Macs, you'll know this means that my computer thought that any time I pushed a key, I was making a command.  For instance, whenever I pushed the letter "P," it thought I was trying to print.  Letter "F" meant I was trying to find a word on the page.
I was...not the happiest I've ever been.
Which is a nice way of saying I kind of lost it.  It had been a long and frustrating day and I admit - I yelled at my 2-year old for breaking my laptop.
I recognized a while later that I was the one who needed to be forgiven.  I had acted poorly, far more poorly than he had.  While his error was unintentional and driven by curiosity, mine was just me being a meanie.
Last week, we were hosting some little friends for our weekly coop preschool.  My son really wanted the blue plate, but I told him that everyone would just get what they got.  He started to have a little meltdown when he got the yellow one instead, and I wouldn't let him trade.  We went to his room to cool down and I started to yell.  But then.  Then!  Then I stopped myself.  I crouched down and I gave him a hug.  And he trusted me and looked in my eyes and hung onto my neck.
I'm obviously still not perfect.  I clearly still started to yell.
I'm not there.  But I'm getting better.

"Hurry and get dressed so we can go to playgroup!"
"Hustle and finished eating so we can go to the park!"
"Hurry and go potty so we can go to bed!"
I'm an east coaster through and through and I'm 98% sure I've said all these phrases (and more!) in the last week (at least).   Lately, I've felt especially busy and in some ways, bogged down.  I've been loving the summer and cramming in lots of fun activities, but then part of me thinks, isn't summer for rest?  Being lazy?  Is it really relaxing to rush to the pool...to relax?  I read this article recently and it really touched a chord that I've been considering a lot lately.  Should I really be "hustling" so much myself, and making my kids do the same?  I really think we all would benefit a lot from me just taking the time to let my kiddos chat some more during meals, read one more book, and take their time to ask questions and tell stories as we stop on the landing of our stairs.  If I take an extra 30 seconds to crouch down, look my son in the eyes and respectfully explain to him why he can't wear the too-small shoes on our walk, well, that's 30 extra seconds of loving, respectful interaction with my favorite little boy in the world.
So yesterday, as we were coming up the stairs, trying to get in the house for naps, I stopped.  I laughed.  On the STAIRS.  Without ignoring or hustling or worrying.
I'm not there.  But I'm getting better.

3. BEING DISTRACTED: I'm writing on my computer and also flipping over to check email.  I'm glancing at Instagram in between reading a book with my kindle app while also folding laundry.  I'm listening to my audiobook while making dinner and also trying to answer a phone call and field questions regarding Legos and The Very Hungry Caterpillar.  Women in general tend to multitask, and I epitomize that blessing/curse.  It's rare that I'm only doing 3 things, much less one.  My son, on the other hand, will spend a solid 20 minutes examining one book with about 10 pages, or take half an hour showing his sister how to cram all the toys in the washing machine (true story).  My daughter will spend a quarter of an hour playing with her block train, or be equally content just sitting and looking at people and "chatting" with them.
A few days ago, I sat on the floor.  I looked my kiddos in the eyes and chatted it up.  I played some airplane, despite my usual "non-fun-mom" status.  It was just for a little while, but I wasn't distracted.
I'm not there.  But I'm getting better.

Thank you so much for sharing your words of wisdom and encouragement Preethi! I'm thankful for woman I've met like you that I can learn from!


J and A said... Best Blogger TipsBest Blogger Templates

Have an amazing time with your family!! You are an incredible aunt, they are lucky kids!! And SO cute!

Agnes Mayer said... Best Blogger TipsBest Blogger Templates

Great post. I am constantly distracted!!!!!! I am trying very hard to enjoy and be present in the moment.

Have a good weekend!!!!



Carly said... Best Blogger TipsBest Blogger Templates

Have a great trip!!!


Allison said... Best Blogger TipsBest Blogger Templates

Enjoy your family!! :)

curly purplepig said... Best Blogger TipsBest Blogger Templates

so adorable!