Honestly . . .

I have about fifteen unfinished drafts for posts just sitting there waiting to be finished. Some random ones, some about motherhood, and some with things I'm loving and am thankful for.  
But I'm having a hard time finishing any of them. A big part is that I don't have any outfit pictures to add to them.  Or energy to proofread and finish any of the more meaningful ones.  And mostly because I've started second guessing everything I write about, whether light hearted or heartfelt.  
I'm struggling a little with the purpose of this blog and the feeling of accomplishment and enjoyment in doing it.  When I was going through our fertility treatments this blog was such a huge blessing, as it was a great source of encouragement and an outlet for me.  I also felt like God was using me to share my faith through that struggle and therefore gave my blog more of a purpose.  
I definitely want to keep blogging, as honestly I think I'd wear yoga pants 90% of the time, instead of 50% of the time if I wasn't motivated by sharing outfit posts.  I also love that I can have a record of Addilyn's pictures, stories and monthly updates.  But I just haven't figured out what blogging really looks like for me now as a mom.   
I worry sometimes that I'll lose readers because my content is boring or repetitive, but honestly I feel like my daily life right now is a little repetitive. And I am completely okay with that (most of the time).  I'm just not sure how that will be reflected in my blog.  Sometimes I read these other blogs of stay at home moms and they have this beautiful hippie like hair and vintagey dressed kids with high quality pictures, all which I'm a little jealous of.  Sometimes I think maybe if I lived on a farm, with long wavy hair, gardening while baby wearing Addilyn, then wrote about it on my blog it would be much more appealing.  
Then I realize I am completely losing site of why I want to blog.  While I can't say that I honestly don't care about attracting readers and wanting them to approve of what I write, I can say that I want to be true to what my life is like.  And it isn't that.  It is a little repetitive, but most of the time feels right where I should be. 
And ironically I'm not quite sure what the purpose of this post is other than to just share my thoughts.  And to say thanks for those that take the time to read it, encourage me and remind me that real life isn't about fancy pictures, beautiful hair and perfection.  

Pumpkin Carving Success

I have to start this post by telling you that you should read this first.  Last year I shared our evolution of pumpkin carving, which started with real thoughtful, time consuming carving, proceeded by drawing on our pumpkins with sharpies and ended last year with not even purchasing a pumpkin but just holding on up for a picture at the pumpkin patch.  

Basically it comes down to the fact that pumpkin carving is hard work and I'm lazy about it.  However, having a baby means stepping up our yearly traditions and no more faking it by just taking pictures.  (Okay, we could actually fake it since Addilyn won't remember but we won't get away with it for long).

Read the rest of our pumpkin carving experience here.  Plus see some of the failed Addi in pumpkin pictures!

More than a pillow

=

tank top: old navy    blazer: c/o wendybox   pants: gap   shoes: kohls

I am loving this baby stage that is now full of laughing, cooing and "talking."  When Addilyn just started doing these things consistently a week or so ago Chris and I would feel so proud of ourselves when we'd get her to laugh or talk on and on.  I'd get this feeling of accomplishment and pride, knowing I could make her ramble on and on with a huge smile. 
That is until the other day when I was sitting on the floor holding her over my shoulder and she started laughing and talking.  I quickly realized that she was extremely amused with the pillow on our couch and it got the same reaction as all my antics.  

So basically I went from feeling like Addilyn thinks I'm the funniest person in the world to feeling on the same level as a pillow. 

Army Vest

vest: jcpenney   pants: kohls    shoes: target 

I've been wanting a green military inspired vest for quite awhile.  I have this khaki vest from Old Navy and every time I think about wearing it, I think it is green, only to be disappointed when I take it out of my closet and realize it is not.   

So I was quite happy when I found this vest at JCPenney a few weeks ago and happier when it was only $10.  And this outfit is one of those that is full of deals that I am pretty proud of.  These pants were less than $8 from Kohls and I found these ankle boots at Target last year for $9.  

Now if you wanted to copy this shirt you'd have to go back to about 1999 and find it from American Eagle.  I think it may be time to replace shirts I bought in high school.  

a wedding

dress: jcpenney    shoes: target   necklace: c/o choies.com

This weekend we went to Chris' cousins wedding, which was Addilyn's first wedding and our first "fancy" event as a family of three. Besides our parenting fail of forgetting our diaper bag at home and having to run to Walgreens to get diapers and wipes we had a great time.  Addilyn did awesome and even managed to fall asleep during part of the reception (with her bunny of course).  They had a dessert table and candy bags to fill to take home, which pretty much means an automatic win in my book.  That and having a flash mob at their wedding.

On a different note the time has come where more and more people in my life are aware that I have a blog.  Chris' cousin was giving me a hard time about how I should blog about everything while we were there (hi rob), like the appetizers or the dancing or pretty much anything.  I'm slowly getting over the fact that people in my life read my blog and feel a little less embarrassed than I used to.  Although I'm not sure that will ever go away entirely.  

Hope you had a great weekend!