On ten years

   

This week Chris and I celebrate our ten year anniversary.  Which makes 15 years being together, half of my life.  Part of me feels like there is no way it's been ten years, but most of the time I can't even remember not being married.  
                                                                                                                  the summer we started dating 
A lot of time I think about how I can't believe we got married so young.  I was 20, Chris was 23.  I had just finished my second year of college, and Chris still had another year and half left as well.  We were practically babies.  I've heard Chris tell a friend "I practically raised her myself."  Jokes aside, I definitely did my growing up into adulthood as a wife, which came with it's challenges.  But also came with a lot of blessings too.  We went through a lot of growing up and learning about each other and ourselves the first years of marriage, that we had to go through a lot of the harder communication things right from the start.  Not to say we didn't have plenty of things to work through the whole ten years, but had to go through a lot of that together at the beginning.  
I think I could write about a handful of advice that I've learned these ten years.  That I can't expect Chris to know how I feel without telling him exactly how I feel.  That you need to say what you mean and deal with the consequences if you're not honest about how you feel about something.  That going through a really hard thing, like infertility will either draw you closer or farther apart, and I'm so thankful we worked hard to draw us closer.  That things are not going to be even all the time and playing the game "who works harder than who" will never be helpful.  And that sometimes a date night is needed to remind you that you still really love each other and have fun together.  
But I think the best piece of advice that as helped us the most over the ten years is that we are on the same team.  During our premarriage counseling we had to say to each other multiple times "you are not my enemy."  This has helped through fight after fight, disagreement after disagreement.  There are times I feel so far into an argument where I am mad or hurt and then I remind myself that we are in this together.  We are on the same team.  We may disagree, we may have made mistakes and may still have lots to sort through and talk about.  BUT we have the same goal that we want to get on the same page and be in this together.  
There are times I'm mad about things Chris forgets or times I feel like he should know or anticipate how a situation or conversation would make me feel.  If I stop and remind myself that he isn't doing these things to make me mad, and that he has intentions to make our marriage better and that he loves me, it helps soften my feelings.  While it doesn't solve the problem it changes my approach.  
When Addilyn was born it was a tough transition for us.  I'm not sure if it's because we had 8 years with just us, or that it was just hard.  There were multiple times Chris would say to me "I'm on your side."  That simple reminder made a huge difference.  We didn't have to be happy with the argument or necessarily the place our marriage was in that day or that week, but it helped remind me that our goal is the same.  To be on the same team, in this together.  
Chris Vale.  Thank you for "raising me yourself."  For loving me more than anyone else.  For constantly telling me I'm beautiful and how much you love me.  For being easy going, silly and smiling a lot.  For providing for our family and being an amazing dad to Addilyn.  And for being on my team.  Happy Anniversary.  
Ten years in and many, many more to go.

Nine Years

Nine years ago I walked down the aisle to marry you.  It's hard to believe we've been together for over 13 years.  It's funny to think about how much we've changed over the many years and how far our relationship has grown.  My 14 year old self did not think we'd end up married, even though you thought otherwise. I'm sure thankful you didn't give up on pursuing me way back then.  

This last year has definitely been the year of the most change as we added Addilyn to our family.  We've had to work more on our marriage, as it hasn't been easy like it's been the last many years.  But I am so thankful for you.  So thankful for a husband that is willing to spend time working on our marriage.  To spend time talking, listening and praying together.  And who tells me how much he loves me over and over and over again. 

But even though it's been a harder year because we've had to adjust to less time together, it's also been such a rewarding year too. It's been such a joy to watch you become a dad.  To see how much you love Addilyn and to jump in as your new role.  And to do it with such tenderness and joy.  We both are so lucky!

What a blessing it has been to be your wife.  To go through hard things like suriving financially while we were both in college, to finding jobs, greiving over the lose of our grandparents, or through our years of infertility. And then to experiences joys together like vacations, success in your careers and the most exciting, becoming a family of three.  

I'm happy to have you through whatever hard things we'll face and so thankful to experience the many more blessings God has for us in the future.  You are my favorite person in the world Christopher Jason Vale and I'm so thankful God gave me you. 

Happy Anniversary!

A different kind of letter

 I've never doubted that Chris would be a great dad.  But since being pregnant I am so confident that he is going to be the best dad and that our daughter is so lucky to have him as a father.  

Chris has always been so good with our nieces and nephews and I really think he is probably the most fun adult to have around if you are a kid.  Probably because he can switch to not acting like an adult in seconds. :)  

Even if that means letting my niece "walk" him on a rope: 

Or playing with my nephew in the pouring rain: 

Chris was excited to become a dad when we started trying to have a baby, but I do know that all the waiting we had to do has made him even more excited and ready and I'm thankful for our struggle in the way I think that it's prepared Chris to be a dad.  

I'm so thankful for Chris' excitement and tenderness throughout my pregnancy.  I love when he gets teary eyed when he feels our baby kick or when we went and shopping for our baby the first time. Or that he wanted to go register for baby things and help put together things for our nursery. 

I've written a handful of letters to our baby and thought it was time he did too. 

Dear baby girl,

For many years your mom and I have been asking the Lord to let us get pregnant. We prayed every night that He would bless us with a child. Then, one day, our prayers got to change. We prayed every night that our baby would be healthy and safe through your mom's pregnancy. That baby is you!

I'm so excited to meet you in person and hold your little baby hands. You have no idea what a blessing and answer to prayer you are to our family. For a while, your mom and I weren't sure if we would be able to have our own child, or if we would have to adopt. Now I am sitting next to your mom, and I can see you almost ready to come out!

Over the past couple months, one of my favorite parts of each day is laying down for bed and putting my hand on your mom's belly. Almost without fail, as soon as I put my hand there and start talking, you start to move for me. I feel your little body parts, and know that you are real and that I'm going to hold you this summer.

I want you to know that we love you so much already, and we are going to spend our lives protecting you and teaching you about the Lord. We don't really know what we are doing, but if my past tells me anything, it's that God looks out for His children. We will do our best to raise you right, and even when we screw up, don't forget that your mom and dad love you more than anything in the world!

Love,

Your Dad!!! (funny to think that I'm a dad)

 Chris was trying to convince me the other day that as soon as she's born he wants to put her on his chest before mine because he's more anxious to hold her.  While I argued that would not be happening,  I love how much he loves her already and I know when I see him hold our daughter my heart will be filled with so much joy. 

You're no longer number one

top: old navy   skirt: target   sandals: ?   necklace: gift (groopdealz)

Can we say fourth of July outfit?  Too patriotic looking perhaps? 

I'm pretty sure I've mentioned before Chris' extreme amount of love for our dog Molly.  Now I certainly love Molly and give her quite a lot of attention.  But it can't compare to Chris. 

Sometimes it's almost disturbing how much he treats her like a person.  Playing hide and seek, carrying her around, talking to her like a person.  
The other day I overheard Chris talking to Molly, telling her that once our baby comes she will no longer be number one around here. (Let's just ignore the fact that he was saying that Molly was number one and not me). 
I'm glad he knows that our baby girl will get moved ahead of Molly, as I used to be a little concerned. 

Doesn't everyone carry around their 50 pound dog like this? 

Thankfully Molly is so good around other babies and kids, but I am a little worried how she'll handle our new addition! 
Oh and I've never entered any kind of style or fashion contest until yesterday when I found one that's all about finding good deals, which I think I'm pretty good at. I'm sure you want to help me win! Vote here! 
Thank you!

Happy Hour

 
tee: old navy    jeans: ross maternity    vest: loft

I know I've written a similar post before, but here's yet another example that Chris and I may as well be in our sixties. 
When we went away to Wisconsin a few weekends ago we looked up restaurants that had happy hours.  I think for a normal couple in their late 20's, early 30's this would be a happy hour that started around 9 or 10 o'clock. 
Not for us though.  We went to a 4 - 6 happy hour and were the first to arrive.  Slightly embarrassing, we were followed by couple after couple in their sixties at the youngest.  
Proof.   

There were even two oxygen tanks attending.  We definitely had anyone beat by at least thirty years.   
At least the fact that we like to be home early, eat early and avoid those young, rowdy crowds will only prepare us more for our baby.  Speaking of baby preparation, rather than going to Friday night happy hour we will be going to a childbirth class.  They told us to bring pillows and blankets and I fear having to mimic labor positions and laughing awkwardly as if I'm too immature to birth a baby.   Hopefully it doesn't scare me too much either.  
Hope you have a good weekend!

Eight Years

shirt: target clearance ($4)   skirt: target    bracelet: made by me

(It's a lucky coincidence I'm wearing a shirt that says love on it for today's post!)
Today Chris and I celebrate our eight year anniversary.  Over 13 years of being together.  Some days I feel like I can't believe it's been eight years and then others I can't imagine not being married.    I don't too often write whole posts about Chris and am feeling slightly guilty that when I do they often include his annoying habits.  But the truth is I fully believe that I am one of the luckiest woman in the world to be blessed with such an amazing husband.   One of my favorite things about Chris is that I never doubt that he loves me.  He not only tells me all the time, but I know it's so clear to others that he loves me.  There's been so many times I've met someone he worked with or a friend who tells me right away how much Chris loves and talks about me.   Another one of my favorite things is Chris' ability to communicate.   I appreciate that he always wants work out any issues we have and talk about anything important to me, little or big.  He's always been able to communicate his feelings, which means he's shared tears with me during our struggles, as well as tears during our joys too.   We have both changed quite a bit since we've been married and I am so proud of the man that he has become.  I couldn't be more excited to watch him become a dad in two months.  I'm so thankful for the last eight years of marriage that we've had to work on our relationship with just the two of us, and am beyond excited and ready for this next phase of life together!  

someday

tank top: borrowed from friend    jeggings: walmart    wedges: ?   sweater: loft

Someday I'm sure I'll miss this belly but right now I'm so anxious to meet and hold our sweet girl and am a little nervous about what my belly will look like in 9 more weeks.  

Someday our daughter will know how much fun we had setting up everything in her room.  Someday she'll know how much I loved watching Chris put together things in her room.

Someday I'd like to make homemade donuts.  I've pinned a ridiculous about of recipes like this one, but yet to try any.

Someday I really will buy a pair of rainboots.  These have been in my cart for a week.  Please tell me if I should buy them and what color.

Someday I'd love to be able to meet some of my blogging friends in real life.
Here are some sweet girls I'd love to meet:

Chrissy from Everyday with the Jays.

I wish Chrissy didn't live in Texas because I know that we would be friends in real life, as I've loved getting to know her the last year and a half.  I also wish she lived closer so we we could teach at the same school.  Chrissy is a master at cheap and amazing DIY projects like this anthropology copy project or her dining room wall upgrade.  And she has great directions that you can easily follow!  She also blogs about life with her husband, and her two cute pups! 

blog  //  bloglovin  //  facebook

Lindsay from Pursuit of Pink.

There are so many things that I can relate to about Lindsay, a huge one is that she is expecting her first baby very close to mine.  But even more so is her honesty about the feelings and fears that have come with being pregnant.  It's always refreshing to read a blog that is encouraging and honest, but also filled with plenty of happiness, style posts, favorites and tutorials. 

blog //  twitter  //  bloglovin

Chelsea from Olive and Ivy.

Chelsea writes a lifestyle blog that is full of her cute style, affordable fashion, and beauty tips and reviews. Chelsea is also a very talented graphic designer and creates amazing blog designs.  She helped me out a lot when I first started my blog by designing some graphics for me.   And one more plus - she can pull off those floral pants! :) 

blog  // twitter  //  facebook

You should go check out these sweet girls and their blogs! You'll wish you could hang out with them in real life too! 

Numbers

 
dress: target     leggings:old navy    shoes: kohls

FOUR: the number of nights until my mom's open heart surgery.  Praying for God's protection during her surgery and a constant reminder of His peace and comfort that is stronger than any fear and anxiety.  
THREE: the number of times I've cried this last week.  
ONE HUNDRED: the amount of money I'd give someone to go to the dentist for me tomorrow. 
TEN: the number of weeks left until my due date!
TWENTY: the number of school days left before summer break.  
FIVE: the average number of times I get up to go the bathroom in the middle of the night these days. 

THIRTY ONE:  the age that Chris turned on his birthday today.  Happy birthday to my best friend! I couldn't feel luckier to be married to you! 

A weekend away

We had such a wonderful weekend away.  A weekend free of computers, good phone reception, and things that needed to get done. 

It was a weekend full of guitar playing, delicious food, outlet shopping . . . 

book reading, lots of walking, and beautiful weather.

And a reminder of how much I love Chris and spending time with him.

Today I have a special person to introduce you to.  Besides being cute, likable and easy to relate to, Brooklyn is a wise woman who is sharing with you today how to be a person of influence, fighting the temptation to blend in with those around you!

Hey cute For Lauren and Lauren readers! I am Brooklyn and I blog over at This Little Blonde. 

I have a quote hanging on the wall in my room that says, "You will never influence the world by trying to be like it." 

I absolutely love how that quote changes my thinking. We live in a world where we are encouraged to "blend in." We try and fit in, and we try to be one of the crowd.

The last thing this world needs is one more person that is keeping his or her mouth closed about the things they care about. The world doesn't need more celebrities, it needs people who consistently do good. The world needs more people who put others first. The world needs more people of influence. So I have come up with a list of 3 simple ways to become a person of influence.

1. Seek to be worth knowing rather than to be well-known

I remember hearing this quote a few weeks back and I honestly can't get it out of my head. Be that person that is so nice, and so silly and so helpful that people can't help but like you. Your character will say more than your reputation ever will. In the blogging world, use social media to connect with your readers. Don't be a blog lurker! Comment away! People love to know that you are reading and thinking about their blog. That makes you someone worth knowing, because you are someone who cares. 

2. Work WITHIN your own sphere of influence

When I dream, I dream big. I don't just want my mom to read my blog posts, I want the president of the fricken United States to read my blog post. But to be honest, that will probably never happen. I try to really focus on my audience. Who can I influence? My roommates, my family, my boyfriend, my readers, my coworkers, etc. So how can I personally change so that my influence on them is a positive one? You don't have to write a letter to the government that will change ObamaCare for the better, but you can leave a note for a roommate wishing them good luck on their test the next day. Maybe you can't get a big blogger to tweet you back, but you can tweet back a new friend that asked you a question. 

3. Find your strengths, and use them

I am NOT good at sports. But I am a GREAT cheerleader. I am not a good artist, but I'm a decent writer. You need to do what YOU are good at. Not what any other blogger is good at. I can look at every person in my life and find something to be envious of, but instead I try to focus on the things I am good at, things I like about myself. When you are comfortable in your own skin you are more worried about others than you are about yourself. Write about things you love. People will notice.

What are you ideas on becoming a person of influence? Also, because I think you're really great, I am offering you 50% off ad space on my blog with code FORLAUREN

Come visit me? 

Thank you Brooklyn for your post and your wise words!  Hope everyone had a great weekend!

Say what?

skirt: old navy clearance ($5)   sweater: old navy clearance ($5)   scarf: discovery ($7)

I know I've written quite a few times before about how different Chris and I are.  Especially when it comes to his natural happy face or how he is always doing "funny" things and thinks I should be more amused at him.  Remember when I made it my goal to laugh at him more often? 
Well I think I'm failing. 
But sometimes the things he says I just am not quite sure where they come from. 
Like the other day when we were driving in the car he just says, 
"What would you do if I told you I was a robot and opened my wrist to show you my battery?"
What? 
He then proceeded to talk about it for the next 5 minutes at least and wanted to know if I'd still love him if he wasn't human, along with other questions that he seriously wanted me to consider.  
I got incredibly lucky with an amazing husband, but I can't help to find him a little weird at times.